"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Why do women see this as a sign of insecurity?
- Thread starter sosilky
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
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Hence insecurity.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
Yes I am very insecure; about getting HIV, Herpes, Ebola, and every other diease known to man.
so yes, I apologize if I like to know if you are catching another guys yougert besides mine from time to time.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
DavenJuan
Master Don Juan
are you serious??sosilky said:
you shouldnt HAVE to ASK. if you feel it is time for you all to get a bit more serious than tell her. it should go unspoken that she isnt f*cking other guys at this point.
"umm, i know we said we are serious and bf and gf. but im just curious about something.. umm im just wandering if you are nailing other guys? if you are you probably shouldnt, since your my gf"
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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She doesnt like being called the Ho/Slut that she is soo openly... She wants you to make her think you think you are the only one which is seldom the case! She doesn think you are insecure she just doesnt want you prying into her other relationships. AFTER ALL, A REAL DON JUAN WOULD CARE WHAT SHE DOES WHEN SHE LEAVES HIS HOUSEKontrollerX said:
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
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Only 17% of people wear condoms every time.. Everyone has a past but women tend to have more of a past cause its easier for them to be promiscuous as they dont have to pursue...ZenGodMod said:
BUt most hos end up being someone's wife and mother....soo..... there are enough desperate men around that old used up ho and sluts have no problem finding a man ready to marry them... after they have F'ed 3000+ people...
KontrollerX said:
Well Kontroller with all your knowledge about AWs you know that no matter how Awsome you are your not gonna comand every girls full attention. But I figured someone would give that perspective. It just seems that every girl that throws that crap at me tuns out to be a white trash *****.
Now here's what seems to be the other side of the fence in this subject. this is the reason why I ask girls wht the deal is. Also I don't like to be disrespected or made a fool of. Whether we are serious or not. Your lieing to me. You are garbage.backbreaker said:
What?taiyuu_otoko said:
your a tardDavenJuan said:
I guess I would have to wonder what her reasons were for asking. refer to the first two quotesDonJuan11 said:
Interesting what your saying up until the CAPS. Wouldn't a Don Juan not care what she does when she leaves the house?DonGorgon said:
Was refering to her present, but thanx for the tip.ZenGodMod said:
Wow 3000?DonGorgon said:
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
MacAvoy
Banned
Can a mod please merge this thread with the original where he asks the question multiple times please
The original title to the thread linked above is "sleeping around, around 30 and lies"sosilky said:
Most women are in fact insecure when they ask that question.
It has to do with how you ask it too:
1) The words. "are you ****ing other guys" vs. "Is this committed or casual"... The second is preferable. Now this is not how exactly you'd phrase it, but my point is you wouldn't ask "are there any other guys" [them-centered]... which is you focusing on THEM... You'd ask her an [us-centered] question. That shows you actually do think you're awesome, and if there are other guys, you don't care, her loss. You just want to know if this relationship is worth investing in. If not, that's cool too.
2) The tonality, body-language and sub-communication you ask it with. You know most of this. If you are in fact secure about how you ask, she won't perceive it as insecure. And if she does, her problem.
For the most part, most of these problems auto-correct themselves by sexual abundance.
What is sexual abundance? It's knowing you can walk out any day, any time, anywhere and meet a new woman (or 5), and be able to date a healthy percentage of them.
Even if you marry this girl and she's your one and only and you never even feel the need for another girl... the truth is, you can't know if you aren't settling or fooling yourself... until you have sexual abundance.
LostAndConfused
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I was asked this on a date and I came up with some blatant lie....in retrospect that was a mistake but I mean girls are going to be more inclined to lie anyways.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.