Why do I care that my fwb is sleeping w other dudes?

backseatjuan

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I spin plates and if anyone of them sleep with another man, I'd drop her like a ton of rocks.
Isn't it a correct assumption that women that you dating are dating other men and sleeping with other man? In other words, I met a girl today, we had a date, I can guarantee she is having dates with other dudes, I had another date with her, we fcked, I can guarantee you she is fcking with other men as well. They'lll never tell you that, but I assume it to be the truth.
 
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Spaz

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Isn't it a correct assumption that women that you dating are dating other men and sleeping with other man? In other words, I met a girl today, we had a date, I can guarantee she is having dates with other dudes, I had another date with her, we fcked, I can guarantee you she is fcking with other men as well. They'lll never tell you that, but I assume it to be the truth.
It depends, either its the reality you produce or you follow the reality that's written for society/men to follow.

You have a choice.

What you should be asking is how to produce a reality where women or even men will automatically adhere to and mold themselves accordingly to meet those standards.

I've talked abt frame, even gave everyone a breakdown on it.

I've talked abt leadership, on taking responsibility and also empowering people.

I've talked abt increasing a man's sphere of influence.

I've repeatedly touched on these since I 1st joined in because that's the only way a man can sustainably achieve greatness, and through it or because of it he is admired by many women/men - creating a reality or worldview that's shared by those you're influenced.
 

stringpuller

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Mmm might just be me but i dont like this mind set
i would not want a women im ****ing doi g it with any other guy while im seeing her even if im spinning plate.

I guess im selfish
I agree with this to an extent. This isn't an emotional based situation in my mind. To me it comes down to value (market place value) the women your sleeping with that have little value to you won't trigger this. Primitive or not it comes down to value, first in yourself and secondly in the girl. Feelings are the by product of your thinking. Good or bad.
 

stringpuller

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Took me quite a while to get used to hearing about other partners, and to her credit she was sensitive to my difficulties and was good about going slow. But over time I just kept coming back to one simple fact: her time with her other partners really has no bearing on the time we spend together. Just as @EyeOnThePrize says above
This is cuckholdry in its simplistic manipulated form. Unhealthy af IMO to becoming a solid man. She basically nursed you right into it. But hey if your into that. To each is own.
But to use that as an example to what this guy is going through is to me. Useless
 

lamath

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This is cuckholdry in its simplistic manipulated form. Unhealthy af IMO to becoming a solid man. She basically nursed you right into it. But hey if your into that. To each is own.
But to use that as an example to what this guy is going through is to me. Useless
Was kind of thinking the same.

But i dont judge
 
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lamath

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It depends, either its the reality you produce or you follow the reality that's written for society/men to follow.

You have a choice.

What you should be asking is how to produce a reality where women or even men will automatically adhere to and mold themselves accordingly to meet those standards.

I've talked abt frame, even gave everyone a breakdown on it.

I've talked abt leadership, on taking responsibility and also empowering people.

I've talked abt increasing a man's sphere of influence.

I've repeatedly touched on these since I 1st joined in because that's the only way a man can sustainably achieve greatness, and through it or because of it he is admired by many women/men - creating a reality or worldview that's shared by those you're influenced.
If you are a high value man she will stop doing things with other men by herself.

Or for example she will delete her tinder/dating app
 

stringpuller

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Was kind of thinking the same.

But i dont judge
I know man
If you are a high value man she will stop doing things with other men by herself.

Or for example she will delete her tinder/dating app
I like the way Bruce Lee put." Be like water" its about the ebb and flow of life. Just like he said here. If you ARE it then she will drop the behavior. Not in a "getting" reactive mindset but more like the flow. Watch her come watch her go. Be molding to either like being poured into that cup.
The becoming this or becoming that i find to be a fallacy in the mindset. There is a place to find that you truly dont give a fck as the saying goes but that in no ways means we are bad men or can't be compassionate alphas and leaders of men. It means you understand the objectiveness of life. And not let the subjective matter fck with you so much as with OPs dilemma.
 

Amante Silvestre

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If you are a high value man she will stop doing things with other men by herself.

Or for example she will delete her tinder/dating app
I was going to respond to make the same point. Glad you made it, because this, IMO, is a very distinctive concept when spinning plates with the right frame of mind.

I have often said here that I have an open book policy with women, meaning I often have mature conversations in which we come to an agreement that it is a casual arrangement and that certain things are acceptable. However, I am not agreeing to the idea that it is OK for her to bang other guys. When I agree to this "casual" arrangement with a woman it is strictly because I know 2 things are true for that time being:

1. She is in a place where she is truly not ready for a serious relationship, often because they are just getting out of one, AND...

2. She is into me deeply enough that I am her clear, best option and her natural behavior will be to preserve that by not pursuing other men, even if it is acceptable from a technical perspective.

These two very important distinctions is how a woman reconciles a conflict between not wanting something serious and her natural, anti-slut defense of not want to be with multiple guys simultaneously. Women in this state still want a chemistry and bond very reminiscent of a relationship even if it is casual. And when a woman in this state finds a man she clicks very well with, she will agree to a casual arrangement without actually following through on it.

But this will always be temporary.

So when I agree to a casual arrangement with such a woman, I am not actually agreeing that it is OK for her to sleep with other men. What I am agreeing to is the simple fact that when the time comes that I am no longer viewed as her best option to preserve, and she begins to pursue those other options, that there is no point in me trying to preserve the arrangement and I must let her go. I am also agreeing to the idea that if she were to fall hard and want to become monogamous that I must also let her go just the same, as I cannot become serious & monogamous with a woman who initially agrees its ok to see other men when with me at any point of time we are together in any way.

I am basically agreeing this is a temporary arrangement and will come to an eventual end. There is no illusion it will be anything else regardless of how it unfolds. I am agreeing that regardless of what I feel, I must take the initiative to end it, even if I might not want to.

This is where a lot of guys fvck up when spinning, IMO. They are trying to steadily spin straight up w0res only good for a ONS or once in a blue booty call; the type of women who have no problem banging multiple guys. They are trying to reconcile with the idea that a woman is permitted to being with another man. That it must be accepted; a price to pay, a trade off for his own sexual freedom. But it is not a quid pro quo arrangement like this that provides a man with his sexual freedom. That freedom comes with a man who can be open, honest, mature and WORTHY of making such arrangements without deceit or hypocrisy, with women who will act to preserve it because of his worth, without infidelity, despite the agreement.

THAT is a man in control of his own arrangements.

All the same, such a woman can also benefit from the same. If she is worthy and very sexually satisfying to me, I am less likely to pursue multiple women with much vigor myself.

At any rate, great point, @lamath. Many guys need to soak that in.
 

lamath

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.

All the same, such a woman can also benefit from the same. If she is worthy and very sexually satisfying to me, I am less likely to pursue multiple women with much vigor myself.

At any rate, great point, @lamath. Many guys need to soak that in.
+1

So its not double standard.

Self respect is key, a fwb that **** many.men at same time, is not a FWB its public cumbucket.
 
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