"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Why do ex Girlfriends look you up?

AgonyUncle

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Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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mzilla2

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If they are not in regular contact, then it's likely for an ego boost... As opposed to keeping you as backup/orbiter.
 

edger

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AgonyUncle said:
Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?

If you broke up with her against her will, she's most probably calling you for both an ego feeding(to hope that you'll desire her again both sexually and emotionally) and to hit the bedroom with you.

If she broke up with you against your will, she's most probably calling you for an ego feeding to reinforce that you still want her(sexually and emotionally).

Sad, but true, very rarely will an X call you out of a desire for a true friendship.
 

edger

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mzilla2 said:
If they are not in regular contact, then it's likely for an ego boost... As opposed to keeping you as backup/orbiter.
Whether she's in regular contact or not(providing you're not nailing her), both are for ego boosts.
 

Latinoman

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AgonyUncle said:
Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
Who cares? Only an AFC would ponder on this question. They are EXes and there are plenty of women out there.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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KontrollerX

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Edger pretty much gave the best answer.

Another one is she could be looking for the emotional gratification only you can provide her and is thus feeling you out to see if you are interested in becoming an emotional tamp0n for her under the guise of re-establishing contact to start up a genuine friendship.
 

Phyzzle

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Well, why do ex boyfriends call ex girlfriends out of the blue?
 

Bonhomme

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Phyzzle said:
Well, why do ex boyfriends call ex girlfriends out of the blue?
Exactly my thoughts when reading the thread title.
 
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