"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Why do ex Girlfriends look you up?

A

AgonyUncle

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Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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M

mzilla2

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If they are not in regular contact, then it's likely for an ego boost... As opposed to keeping you as backup/orbiter.
 
E

edger

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AgonyUncle said:
Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
Click to expand...

If you broke up with her against her will, she's most probably calling you for both an ego feeding(to hope that you'll desire her again both sexually and emotionally) and to hit the bedroom with you.

If she broke up with you against your will, she's most probably calling you for an ego feeding to reinforce that you still want her(sexually and emotionally).

Sad, but true, very rarely will an X call you out of a desire for a true friendship.
 
E

edger

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mzilla2 said:
If they are not in regular contact, then it's likely for an ego boost... As opposed to keeping you as backup/orbiter.
Click to expand...
Whether she's in regular contact or not(providing you're not nailing her), both are for ego boosts.
 
L

Latinoman

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AgonyUncle said:
Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
Click to expand...
Who cares? Only an AFC would ponder on this question. They are EXes and there are plenty of women out there.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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K

KontrollerX

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Edger pretty much gave the best answer.

Another one is she could be looking for the emotional gratification only you can provide her and is thus feeling you out to see if you are interested in becoming an emotional tamp0n for her under the guise of re-establishing contact to start up a genuine friendship.
 
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Phyzzle

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Well, why do ex boyfriends call ex girlfriends out of the blue?
 
B

Bonhomme

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Phyzzle said:
Well, why do ex boyfriends call ex girlfriends out of the blue?
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Exactly my thoughts when reading the thread title.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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