"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Why do ex Girlfriends look you up?

AgonyUncle

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Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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mzilla2

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If they are not in regular contact, then it's likely for an ego boost... As opposed to keeping you as backup/orbiter.
 

edger

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AgonyUncle said:
Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?

If you broke up with her against her will, she's most probably calling you for both an ego feeding(to hope that you'll desire her again both sexually and emotionally) and to hit the bedroom with you.

If she broke up with you against your will, she's most probably calling you for an ego feeding to reinforce that you still want her(sexually and emotionally).

Sad, but true, very rarely will an X call you out of a desire for a true friendship.
 

edger

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mzilla2 said:
If they are not in regular contact, then it's likely for an ego boost... As opposed to keeping you as backup/orbiter.
Whether she's in regular contact or not(providing you're not nailing her), both are for ego boosts.
 

Latinoman

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AgonyUncle said:
Just curious to see what everyones take on this is. In the last 3 days, I have two ex girlfriends phone me out of the blue. One I have not spoken to for about 8 months, the other almost 3 years.

The usual "Just phoning to see how you doing" nonsense.

Why do they do this? Are they lonely and looking for sex? Feeling down and need a self esteem boost of some sort? Looking to try get something on the go again even though it never worked out first time round?
Who cares? Only an AFC would ponder on this question. They are EXes and there are plenty of women out there.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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KontrollerX

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Edger pretty much gave the best answer.

Another one is she could be looking for the emotional gratification only you can provide her and is thus feeling you out to see if you are interested in becoming an emotional tamp0n for her under the guise of re-establishing contact to start up a genuine friendship.
 

Phyzzle

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Well, why do ex boyfriends call ex girlfriends out of the blue?
 

Bonhomme

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Phyzzle said:
Well, why do ex boyfriends call ex girlfriends out of the blue?
Exactly my thoughts when reading the thread title.
 
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