Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Why "Be yourself" is the best advice in the world...and why no one gets it.

jafyk

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to El Choclo

The thing you said about a stone not needing to get laid is funny , so is your signature,lol.
 

scottfall

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This reminds me of the idea "the answer to all your questions is not to ask questions." Also, "there is no try, only do." These are the prevailing thoughts in self improvment. Ive started to feel this more and more over the past few weeks. It keeps everything in perspective and gives me some peace of mind.
 

The Sperminator

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Being myself never got me anything. The thing is a lot of ppl said I had a good personality too and I'm funny. But did I ever get girls...no. I got friend zoned. Until I figured out how to game girls. I still am the same guy just a more confident guy who knows the game. Your not being someone else your just improving yourself. Why do you go to school? To become smarter. Why do you workout? To get in shape. If your happy being dumb and fat then ok but most people aren't. We aren't saying to change your personality just improve it. If you like being alone and masturbating to porn all day long then ok but you probably don't. You can always improve yourself.
 

somebody

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The Sperminator said:
Being myself never got me anything. The thing is a lot of ppl said I had a good personality too and I'm funny. But did I ever get girls...no. I got friend zoned. Until I figured out how to game girls. I still am the same guy just a more confident guy who knows the game. Your not being someone else your just improving yourself. Why do you go to school? To become smarter. Why do you workout? To get in shape. If your happy being dumb and fat then ok but most people aren't. We aren't saying to change your personality just improve it. If you like being alone and masturbating to porn all day long then ok but you probably don't. You can always improve yourself.
Kudos. I agree. You learn game to get women. Its just like studying for an exam. You revise,practice constantly you will get good results in the end.
 

demonic

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Only 4 pages for a thread which i consider the best i've read in a very long time on so suave!.

Demonic
 

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Voice

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I honestly think "be yourself" is absolutely the best advice in the world. However, I think it only works if you truly love yourself. You must love yourself before a girl can love you.
 

Dstructor

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|AWESOME ****|

Almost like it took what the road i've been walking along in the dark and lit up lights along the way :up:

Easily the best, smoothest and perfectly on-point post i've ever read here
 

ssj4halo

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I don't think you have to necesary be yourself because that might mean you are resistant in changing for what you believe in.

I think its more like, Be yourself in the sense that. picture yourself at the end, what you really want. and then ATTAIN it. This way you are changing yourself only because you want to better yourself(achieving your future goal of who you want to be)...hope that made sence.
 

ssj4halo

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or in other terms. "Be yourself" version of the "alpha male". Now everyone is alpha and unique.
 

Phoenix

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Schmuck said:
I hate analyzing too much on how to get chicks or how to "be".
That ruined my last relationship.
 

WhtRbt

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I think this is one of the best posts on sosuave and I agree 100% with squirrels as all of the original post rings true with me.
 

joshlavarn2009

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PC in our feminist run culture is the problem

Friggin caring what everyone thinks is the mark of a follower or afc. Just be the real you with the girl. If you have greedy tendencies, let them show. If you are an ass man or tit man, tell her. If she starts to talk about girly crap and it annoys you, just tell her she is giving you a headache with the girly talk and tell her to talk about something fun.

Don't hold back your true feelings. If she looks fvckin' hot, tell her, but always twist it up with a little insult. Like - "Your legs look good today. You got around to shaving them right?"

Whatever. She doesn't deserve a complement served on a golden platter. Give her a complement served on a trash can lid.

Also, just say whatever pisses you off. Don't EVER BOTHER asking her what makes her happy, face the facts that women are sooooo neurotic and insane that they cannot be made happy. It is pointless.

Only tell her whatever makes YOU happy, and encourage her to do it. Tell her "I like it when girls wear white thongs for me." Most AFC would be scared that the girl would get mad and smack him. A real man would just laugh if she got mad and only tease her more and give her a wedgie in the process.

Don't be a woosy liberal that constantly cares about what people think or if someones feelings will get hurt. Don't treat her like she is your friggin annoying controlling mommy that always pissed you off. Treat her like a kid sister that you used to put bugs in her hair. Be intolerant...especially to her.

Also - This is my 2 cents - Dress for friggin yourself. Friggin if you like anime and you have some anime shirts, don't throw them out because some stupid Abercrombie preppy girls don't think it is cool.. fvck them!

Friggin be yourself and wear them. Wear the clothes you like, wear the shoes you like, eat the food you want. Play your video games when you are not out on the prowl. Why do you have to bend over backwards to try to look like a "guido type guy"???? Those guys look like asses!

Remember the Notorious B.I.G? The dude looked like Jabba the Hut, but probably got endless *****.
 

Ups&Downs

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We're that guy when anxiety is at its lowest, and that feeling of belonging and contentment is at its highest.

Ever notice how when you're with close friends, it doesn't matter what you say? I can say something and be sure of a positive response, and even if I don't get it, I'm feeling so content and satisfied with my situation that it doesn't matter - it doesn't affect me, and I feel great. In these situations the right words always seem to come into my mouth, the wit etc is there. It's a natural high because I feel so comfortable.

Now, that's the real me. However, it's different in new environments. I get anxious. The words don't come into my head. I'm far more sensitive to criticism etc. That's the real me too.

The trick is feeling like me #1 as much as possible.
 

ssj4halo

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wow. I commented on here 2 yrs ago and I obviosely did not get it. Its been a long time and i finally get the message of the OP. I would like to add some things to this post. Hopefully, it compliments it. Like squirral, I hope this is universal and not just me being delutional:


define others by if they are a man or lost. There are no alphas or betas. Its either you are a man, or you are lost("beta" people, materialistic, etc.). If they are a man they are a comrade, if they are not, they are lost. back in the old days there were "betas" and "alphas". But even back then it was only just MEN and people who are lost. back then we weren't able to see that, but now things changed. Now people who are lost have a way back home(squirrals post for example). Other people who have X Y or Z are still lost, they are just...delutional thinking that X Y Z makes them become a man. In the end they will implode because X Y Z, like anything in life, doesn't last forever and they will realize how lost they really are.

The ideal self comes with no thought because the ideal self is you as a man(all the properties men exhibit...yes that includes natural lover of woman!). There needs to be no effort to reach such a state because that is what you are. There are two paths you can go from who you are: a block from society and a block from yourself(extrenal and internal). One is stray of due to social conditioning, and the other one is to compete with the ideal self and work for it and become like him "by forcing it to happen".

"So why do you have to try so hard to be yourself?(Does a rock TRY to be its self--no it just is itself) The notion of trying to be yourself is STUPID. You ARE yourself. The harder you try to be something you already are/compete, the more it feels forced and contrived. The more you fight it the further you get away from your own NATURE." The more you fight it the more you are fighting the forces of NATURE(flow of nature). The more you fight it the more you fight what evolution DEMANDS.

So don't think they are better than you. you are a man. This means you are yourself. yourself being: protector of loved ones, lover of woman, confident, and all the other things the OP said. This is because you are just yourself, you are not pretending to be this person because thats who you really are. You are not anything else: social conditioning and brainwashing of the media and society saying you are good or bad depending if you have X Y or Z. That stuff just makes you LOST. Break that down and realize that what "be yourself" means. A Man.
 

xdreamz

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holy ****, this is so complicated

be yourself is vague. we put our own meaning to it. opening these can of worms is not going to prove you wrong or right. it is all theory. i don't want to attack your cherished beliefs of "ideals" even though your philosophy seems a little contractory. to me, it's like you're telling a bum to stay their bummish selves while saying they should get up and do ****. a very logical answer indeed why didn't anyone else think of this? actually, i think many people should resort to this answer.

an ideal is expressed in contradiction. if i say i like to swim even though i don't know how, the ideal is to swim. the ideal 'self' that you speak of is to be a swimmer. we're missing the swimming. NOTICE: by staying our old self is not going to produce the swimming. we don't know how to, it's missing. so by not forcing ourselves to swim and to let things flow by "evolution" is an understatement, this has to do with destiny which is in our control, but in the spiritual realm we say that God is in control too. whatever happens happens for a reason and most likely natural but definately not limited to natural.

I. Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

the fact of the matter is that we're missing the swimming and we need someone that knows how to swim, or/and teach ourselves how to swim. both could be had from natural occurances, the stars aligned you were destined to meet this person at this time who knew you were missing swimming, so he taught you how to swim. but it was this person's character that gave you that drive and now you're learning how to swim but you are fitting into that person who has swimming's character. and is that yourself? we are unaware of it. we just want to swim. but little by little you build on it perhaps adapt your own style so it is yourself and everyone sees it as yourself so you're still being yourself actually (but not really! you're actually going through some very memorable moments that define who you are). and perhaps we were to read an expert's book on how to swim, it's probably going to tell you to do this and that which is not just being our old selves.

so now you know how to swim. you have it! sorta, it could be lost through fatigue and what not but most likely you'll retain the knowledge of swimming...and suppose also that you were also missing knowing how to jump off the diving board. you just sit back and realize that you need another teacher or you better find another book, and i don't think one can argue that a few steps are probably needed because we don't want to jump from the high one at first. Am I making sense? there has to be an end to it. so planning and calculation on how great of a swimmer do you want to be is taken in, not really just be yourself. I am hoping one can understand and grasp the concept of the power of your ideal self.

we can't force what's missing in us to be there but what is required to do is just a little pro-active force, a willingness to change, that is your gift from God. that is our ideal self and not necessarily something we can get on our own instantly.

I. Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it.

the key word is external force. we need someone or something to give us that drive. which is perhaps why people say just 'be yourself' because that in itself gives us a force to become what we want to be.

that is as deep as this rabbit hole goes.. the blue pill is going to come soon
 

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JustLurk

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Bump for one of the best threads I've ever read.
 

benassi

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werd
 
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