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Why are Some Guys So Against Cold Approach/Daygame

Georgepithyou

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Cold approach is the best way to meet women outside of social circles, most guys here do not have a social circle that gives them a variety new women.

Outside of Cold approach, what alternatives does a man really have? OLD? Nightgame (which is impossible if you have a 9-5 job and live outside of the downtown area).

A woman is not going to fall out of the sky unto your lap, you need to go out and approach women.
 

Robert28

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Countless women claim they don’t enjoy being approached by strange men these days. So oblige them by leaving them alone.
 

Robert28

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Women only want to be approached by men they are attracted to. You have to read between the lines. Women looooove being approached if you turn them on.
Exactly. I don’t have time to care if they find me attractive or don’t, so I keep to myself and just walk on by minding my own business.
 

Robert28

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I think it's because cold approach is very difficult to get tangible (ie. sexual) results from.

What most guys will discover is that if you're well-calibrated and look decent then the vast majority of women will be happy to have a conversation with you, and then blow you off with "I have a boyfriend" or some other auto-reject line women use. I can't think of many women at all who have reacted negatively to me approaching them. The worst I ever get is her politely telling me that she has a boyfriend, and in worse situations she just doesn't stop to talk because she's busy and on her way to do something.

Guys who criticize Daygame/Cold Approach haven't had any success from it, so they write it off as a way to cope. Once a guy gets laid for the first time from cold approach then his whole outlook will change.

The biggest issue of all is the grifters on YouTube who pretend that Daygame is easy. It's not easy at all, and it makes men feel like failures for not achieving fast results from it.

Personally, when I started daygame cold approaching back in the day it took me several months and multiple approaches to get a bang out of it. After my first bang, my outlook and vibe changed, and the daygame process became much more enjoyable.
Rejections from cold approaches aren’t what fvck with your mind. At least it’s never bothered me. The rejections that came after a few dates, those are the ones that make you stop dating and bothering with women all together.
 

Georgepithyou

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Countless women claim they don’t enjoy being approached by strange men these days. So oblige them by leaving them alone.
How do you expect to get a girl if you don't cold approach?


The biggest issue of all is the grifters on YouTube who pretend that Daygame is easy. It's not easy at all, and it makes men feel like failures for not achieving fast results from it.
100% agree with this, I'm tired of the misinformation spread by those snake oil salesmen, it's not some easy cheat code. Daygame is the hardest way to meet women but also the most rewarding. It feels like your a Lion hunting a zebra.
 

BMX

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Because they've gone very soft, lack half of their testosterone or more and hide behind their apps. It works but no one wants to socialize IRL anymore, so this problem isn't just a guy problem or a 2021 problem but a 2031, 2041, etc. problem. No more ppl telling others to straighten up their posture, get shredded, take public speaking class, dress up and put a little cologne on to help with their approaches because it's all behind screens and closed doors. Sh!t is hella weak soyboy sauce now.
 

SargeMaximus

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Well it’s definitely NOT because a guy has tried for years, approached hundreds of women, never gotten laid from daygame, and found out that online dating was easier and that with online game he could get laid regularly. Definitely not that.
 

SargeMaximus

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Apps are only easier because you've already filtered out for available women. Presumably if she's on an app then she's at least open to the idea of meeting someone.

If a guy has been doing daygame for years, hundreds of approaches, and achieved nothing then that's clearly an issue the man has. He's either not able to learn and adapt his approach and improve his technique, or he has downs syndrome. It's definitely not normal to experience such complete failure from Daygame if a guy is doing it right and gradually improving.
Well I must have Down’s syndrome then. Or maybe I just prefer the easy route.
 

Fruitbat

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I think what makes me feel a little ill is calling it “day game” and “cold approach” and making it a little topic and activity, complete with its own gurus and personal statistics.

what men used to always do is just kind of flirt with pretty women they meet - in the cafe, in shops, at the bus stop.....wherever. Once in a while you might get strong eye contact from a girl on the street and then you ask her for directions and try to get her number.

Often you go with your mates to a park and try to meet groups of girls.

This just used to be called “life” but “daygame” and a roadmap to perfect it make it seem cringeworthy and also really desperate. You shouldn’t be going out to do it, it should be what you do while you’re out doing your own life. “Daygame” to me just speaks of a basement ridden incel who needs to psych up and dress up and rehearse for what just should be what you do every day.

it is probably not the case for all. For the non incel who is doing 1000 approaches in a year or whatever, I would just question why would you dedicate this much of your life to trying to pound vg, it’s really not that important and if you’re not an incel you should get enough anyway
 

Fruitbat

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Rubbish. The best seducers in all of History, going way back to Casanova, Cleopatra and Rasputin were highly, highly strategic and Game aware. Check out the Art of Seduction to get a comprehensive look at history. This stuff goes all the way back to the serpent "cold approaching" Eve in the Garden of Eden and banging her.

Game is just strategic, goal-oriented manipulation. This is ancient stuff. Sun Tzu writing the Art of War goes into complete Daygame, Cold Approach, PUA type thinking, the only difference is he's writing about how to trick your enemy on the battlefield.
Sun Tzu was into cold approach? Well I never!

The art of war generally is about strategy, you can apply it to women I suppose, if you’re thinking of launching an offensive on them in the winter.

Dark triad manipulators do so because of childhood trauma and mostly due to an inability to cope with shame. Hence they have developed an ideal and yet false self, which allows them to manipulate and degrade others without remorse.

You only need to develop a false self if your real one isn’t good enough. Hence you don’t need to be a manipulative tactician if you are solid and have good boundaries to begin with.
 

BadBoy89

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It's also because Men have now designated Women are their saviors from their own burden of performance. Most men just want to find a woman who accepts him, and he doesn't have to compete and perform in the sexual market place. It's real Mommy's Boy stuff.

A woman's love is entirely conditional on what value you're bringing. Most guys don't know what women value, or how to bring value in a way that will make women want to associate with him. It's not just transactional - have a good body, look good, smell nice, have money, have status etc. You have to be able to make her get tingles and "feelz" and be her source of validation - this is meta stuff. Most guys don't get it. I have a friend currently who is a millionaire and is acquiring more and more properties hoping that it will magically make women attracted to him. Doesn't work like that. You need to have Game and you need to know who to infiltrate a woman's emotional landscape. I've tried explaining this to him, but he's stuck in beta "I must earn more money to attract women" mindset.
I actually think most guys get it. Guys don’t have a problem with sex, sex is easy to get in 2021.

The problem is most guys want a woman’s love, respect, admiration, companionship. This is very hard to get in 2021. In 2021, a girl would much sooner take off her clothes to have sex with a man than to pick up a phone and call the same man to see how he is doing.

In my opinion a man would be best served not to commit to any woman. Remember, the sexual market place is deregulated, women are encouraged to sleep around and be happy, the Courts and public opinion always side with the woman and nothing is ever a woman‘s fault.

Why would a man want to legally commit to a depreciating asset when he basically has 0 leverage? For a steady supply of sex at her discretion?

Brutal.
 

Fruitbat

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The world is run by Dark Triads. Get used to it.

The only reason Dark Triad personality traits are attributed to "trauma", maladjustment and personality disorders is because the social engineers know how dangerous Dark Triads are, and what a threat they pose to their blue system of control. It's a shaming tactic. If everyone was dark triad then no one would be bluepill - and this matrix needs bluepills to survive. This matrix is battery powered by bluepills who are stuck in their incubators.

The dark triad knows that the Wizard of Oz is just an old man pulling strings behind a curtain, and he milks it for all it's worth.
Yes, dark triads are dangerous. Child abusers, fraudsters, rapists, murderers, all of these are dark triad, so yes, that’s why the social engineers don’t like them. They are the literal scum of the earth and have been reviled throughout history.

there is a wider topic of Nietzche’s slave and master morality which is a little abstract to this which I think creates some interesting points.

I think you’re mistaken though. Dark triads generally have nothing to offer other than manipulation. They have no creativity, no discipline, they are impulsive. They understood this well and recognised that the only way they will ever succeed is through theft, subversion and manipulation of others.

There is a difference between being a pathological cluster B and holding some healthy self esteem and having a good head for business.

The most successful need a mixture of strategy and also the win-win philosophy. Dark triad is a win-lose egocentric philosophy which will always be beaten, especially in business, by those who understand the needs of others and appeal to those, rather than by trickery or deception.

I think you’ve recently been red pilled and have over emphasised the nihilistic view this can sometimes impose. If you look closely you will find the world is not run by dark triad. Although many of those traits are useful and crucially - everyone must understand how they work, especially if you have neurotic tendencies.
 

Fruitbat

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You clearly haven't read 48 Laws of Power - this is like the idiot's guide to how basic dark triad and power games work. You could probably start there.

Child abuse, rape, murder, fraud are all things the most powerful men in history did - Genghis Khan comes to mind. Obviously, these behaviors are not very nice....but only a true BluePill would fail to see what History has taught us on these matters. Everyone from Stalin to Mao to Julius Caesar to Alexander the Great where all absolutely ruthless manipulators and dark triads to varying degrees of extremity.

Dark Triads have more empathy and mind-reading abilities than you could possibly imagine. To successfully manipulate, you have to understand your target, what motivates them, what they respond to, and how they feel. You have to be able to gain the trust of a person. You have to be very socially adept and high EQ + be able to be morally objective and un-cucked by bluepill slave myths like "Honesty is the best policy" etc.

We live in a world of Lies. Most people, even bluepills, have some grasp of this very basic truth. What most people don't realise is that the lies go all the way to the heart of our foundational understanding of what reality and Human Nature is.
I have read that. Many moons ago.

I think we are talking at cross purposes. I define a dark triad as someone with a clinical personality disorder.

There is another thing at work here. You may be fully aware of how the game works, yet choose to abstain on moral grounds.

For example, sleeping with a friends wife. Slave morality forbids. Master morality permits. Similarly with exploiting a vulnerable person. If you have ridden yourself of any notions of morality that you could harm the vulnerable for personal gain, you will see no error in robbing pensioners of their life savings. If that doesn’t bring any pang of remorse, then there is no broad agreement on this matter. In my professional world I could do things like this, but even if I could, I wouldn’t. My self worth isn’t decided entirely by money. It’s also by the role I fill and the shadow I case on society, and a life of exploiting others for private gain isn’t one I would be proud of.

Marcus Aurelius is a good example of someone who was a powerful man who didn’t succumb to the temptations and corruptions of power. As for Mao et al, these are not figures anyone should emulate. History is very critical of them. Julius Ceaser you may note was brutally murdered by his friends, so the dark triad pendulum swings both ways.

There are people all over the world being abused, tortured, trafficked and harmed by dark triads who view other human life as a mere bag of flesh for exploitation. I don’t truly believe that you advocate that, I think you’re playing a bit of the rebellious teenager being honest. Many of these people aren’t being victimised because they are weak, they are being victimised because they are victims of circumstance - they didn’t have whatever protections they needed at an early age or when circumstances made them vulnerable.

I read of a girl who ran away from abuse, met a “boyfriend” who plied her with drugs and then added opiates in the morning . She woke up one day and he was removing a syringe from her arm. He had been injecting in her stupor to build the addiction so she was dependent and he could pimp her. That, is the end game of dark triad thought. The total disregard for others for private gain. I imagine you are just as reviled by this as I am (that man needs to swing from a rope), so hopefully this can demonstrate why manipulation of others must have limits and can only really be used within the boundaries of constraint and without causing undue harm to others.
 

characternote

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I think what makes me feel a little ill is calling it “day game” and “cold approach” and making it a little topic and activity, complete with its own gurus and personal statistics.

what men used to always do is just kind of flirt with pretty women they meet - in the cafe, in shops, at the bus stop.....wherever. Once in a while you might get strong eye contact from a girl on the street and then you ask her for directions and try to get her number.

Often you go with your mates to a park and try to meet groups of girls.

This just used to be called “life” but “daygame” and a roadmap to perfect it make it seem cringeworthy and also really desperate. You shouldn’t be going out to do it, it should be what you do while you’re out doing your own life. “Daygame” to me just speaks of a basement ridden incel who needs to psych up and dress up and rehearse for what just should be what you do every day.

it is probably not the case for all. For the non incel who is doing 1000 approaches in a year or whatever, I would just question why would you dedicate this much of your life to trying to pound vg, it’s really not that important and if you’re not an incel you should get enough anyway
Basically this.
There really aren't any secret powerful tactics to MAKE a girl wanna bang you. That's just marketing
So all 'daygame' is, is basically 'living' and when you see a cute girl, you try your luck. Talk to her, flirt and see if she's interested
Your success rate depends on how good looking she thinks you are andhow suitable the environment and culture are to cold approach
 

Bingo-Player

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Women only want to be approached by men they are attracted to. You have to read between the lines. Women looooove being approached if you turn them on.
Who doesn't...... problem is most guys though will awkwardly approach and creep the living sh1t out of her

Same for chicks i am at the gym some overweight HB6 awkwardly approaches .....what is my reaction going to be !?!

1) Wtf does she want

2) How can i get her to go away

3) Shall i just leave

Seriously guys unless your cold approach game is absolute fire and i am talking you are so confident you think you could walk on water targeted cold approach is going to fail 9/10

That is the cold light of day i am sorry to break it

However there is a caveat IF you are going about your day as a successful alpha male who doesn't need a woman would be and you cross paths with some fit young philly THEN you can approach and do a number close.
 

Serenity

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Outside of Cold approach, what alternatives does a man really have? OLD? Nightgame (which is impossible if you have a 9-5 job and live outside of the downtown area).
Everyone wants the easy way, tsk tsk. The best way is to cultivate a solid social circle. Don't just remain focused on talking to women, talk to guys too and befriend those who you get along well with. Preferably if they also have a solid social network, this sets you up to meet a lot of these people.

Yeah it might take a bit of time, but I think the reward outweighs having to only butt your head into a wall doing the solo games.
 

Fruitbat

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View attachment 6514

All above qualities that women reward with abundant sex and affection.

You're taking Dark Triad in a completely extreme psychopathic direction, with no nuance. Pure psychopaths aren't dark triads, they are just psychopaths. Dark Triads are a combination and it's not such a black and white thing. Dark Triad = traffiking, murdering and exploiting people criminally is the very extreme end. It's obviously a sliding scale and too much Dark Triad psychopathy can be counter-productive. I'd strongly argue it's impossible to have too much Machiavelli. Extreme-end narcissism probably has more benefits than not too.
Tough one this. I’ve known some compulsive liars and they are roundly ridiculed by women.
Grandiose liars, full of BS. I think most women aren’t turned on by that.

I think it’s power at the root of this and you can gain this by several ways. You could be a top level athlete. You could be a total bum trying to hoodwink tourists into buying bags of leaves as “weed” and scamming people on the street for a dollar pay off.
The above traits on average work and are a quicker route to power, on average, for most people.

I suppose this is mainly down to what we view as dark triad and what of this is seem as healthy self interest. As an example, I would quietly shape the narrative in a work project my way. I wouldn’t start slandering people and making sh1t up. That can backfire for a start, but I agree “honesty is the best policy” and these blue pill traits are a nonsense.

however, there are a few things I would never stand for. Corruption, illegal activity etc. These things are not only wrong, but they will be the end of you. It’s using what you can within the bounds of social acceptability.
 

characternote

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you really can't negotiate attraction. No 'game' tricks actually work. That's why the industry moved on from mysterymethod and stuff lol.
Negging and using NLP lines and whatever else one thinks of as super advanced manipulation will only 'work' on girls who already thought you were attractive. (thus did it really 'work'?)
Game is simply approaching a girl, flirting adn seeing if shes into you or not. At every level
 

Bingo-Player

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Getting approached by a chick isn't attractive because it's masculine behavior.

Obviously confidence is huge. If a man doesn't believe in himself, then her can't expect her to either.

Expecting to "cross paths" with women is passive behavior. As a man, you have to make it happen.
I can practically guarantee that if you surveyed 100 women 99 of them would not find being approached by some random awkward guy attractive

We aren't living in the stone ages anymore you can't just go out and hunt for women approach her smash her over the head with a rock and take her back to the cave

the ideology of "day game" is guru nonsense designed to sell solutions and give hope to desperate guys that have never had any success with women

The modern man should be busy building his kingdom not in a perpetual loop chasing tail he has no hope with

Unfortunately we don't live in that era anymore
 
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