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Who is thinking of breaking no-contract with their exes?

corrector

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....there is a pandemic going on, and nobody knows if you or her is going to be here tomorrow. What are you going to do? Going to go on an ex-contact spree or just keep them in the "moved-on, forget about them even if the planet explodes" box?
 

SayWhat

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Global pandemic that effects only people with existing health issues so what does it mean they won’t be here tomorrow?
After almost four weeks in lockdown I start to agree. This sh!t is too much. I totally agree to flatten the curve to not put to much strain on the hospitals for those who need it. But I’m honestly willing to voluntarily get the virus, so I either die or get over it so I can continue normally.

I’m not a doctor nor an expert, but this feels too much as a panic reaction. And yes it would be much worse if we don’t do anything, I realize that. But all this be hygienic and stuff, it won’t make us more resistant to future possible pandemics.

As to the question, I reached out to an ex from over 10 years with a sincere question I had and was related to the pandemic, she responded nicely. But I kept it at that and didn’t reply back, neither did she text again. Depends how the relationship ended I guess.
 

isasda66

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....there is a pandemic going on, and nobody knows if you or her is going to be here tomorrow. What are you going to do? Going to go on an ex-contact spree or just keep them in the "moved-on, forget about them even if the planet explodes" box?
Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never as valuable as you thought it was.

Did you initiate the breakup? Then I guess you can if you want to check up on them.
 

corrector

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Wow. Have an ex gf and ex wife. Both ended badly with no contact afterwards. But I think I like my ex gf more and might be cheating on my ex wife if I only contact her. Today happens to be her birthday (ex gf). There is also another ex gf who tried to call me but I have her on call block because shes crazy.
 

bcude

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You haven't really moved on or used no contact for the right reasons if you're want to break it now because an opportunity arises. Who cares how she is doing now? The relationship is over.
It's like using christmas or birthdays to have a reason to break NC. Don't do it. Will only set you back.

It's the woman's job to be nostalgic, emotional and care about you in these times.
 

corrector

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You haven't really moved on or used no contact for the right reasons if you're want to break it now because an opportunity arises. Who cares how she is doing now? The relationship is over.
It's like using christmas or birthdays to have a reason to break NC. Don't do it. Will only set you back.

It's the woman's job to be nostalgic, emotional and care about you in these times.
It was over since 2012. This is 8 years later for the ex gf. There was one contact attempt in April 2016 but she did not reply ton the email. I feel in spirit she broke up with me while I logically did the right thing because it was not sound to continue seeing her with her toxic past and all that. It does not matter after 8 years though. May well develop feelings for a prostitute rather than think about the likes of her.
 

samspade

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My ex-wife reached out. We message once in a blue moon, but we are on good terms and I ended that, anyway. Ancient history.

Another more recent ex I still have blocked. Hope she and her family are fine but not interested in chatting with her.

I would recommend not using this as an excuse, though. If you're on NC, keep it that way.
 
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Spaz

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Almost all of my EX's are in one way or the other in my FB.

Some from my teens and early adulthood.

I find that women basically like to keep tabs on men from their past even when they are married with kids.
 

corrector

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Yeah, there must be some reservations towards that idea which is why I wrote a thread like this rather than just send an email. I think there are way more draft emails, threads, posts, or journal entries written about her while actual communication with her is just one isolated email 4 years after the break-up and a forwarded video from youtube within the same 2016 year. It comes to point as to whether the cure is worst than the disease.

Why is there a reservation you might ask? I'm afraid of "something" warping up my mind if I send an email to this particular ex. It happened the last time I sent an email. I end up looking at allot of music videos afterwards and going in some La La land high. (The music video "Under your Spell" from Candi and the Backbeat, was played over 10-20 times and it was a bad occultic music video that I would not watch with a 10-foot pole, also some other music videos from that time.). This is more of a self-effect than a real result. It is like it wakes up something and I'm not myself anymore.

As far as this community, I have to guage how many posts or threads are being made about this ex, and if it would just be more efficient to just send an email, and even if she doesn't reply, or there is a crazy self-effect like the last time. At the end of the day, I go on with the course of the day whether or not an email is sent. Maybe at worst some chemicals are released in the brain and there is a dopamine high or something, and there is really no best outcome since she lives in a different country in the other end of the Earth (New Zealand).
 

samspade

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There's truly an Onion article for everything:


Seriously though, only you know: If you're reaching out to make sure she's okay, that's one thing. If you're doing it because you miss her, that's another.
 

corrector

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There's truly an Onion article for everything:


Seriously though, only you know: If you're reaching out to make sure she's okay, that's one thing. If you're doing it because you miss her, that's another.
That is interesting. I don't think it's even logical at this point to see if she's okay after 8 years when anything could have happened to her anyway within that time. I don't even know if she's alive now. I only saw her profile accidentally in a dating site in 2016 and that was 4 years ago (the same site I met her) to get an update about where she is at that time. Its a shot in the dark, and remembering her birthday, sort of sounds like I'm reaching out to see if she's okay if I remembered that? The virus thing is more incidental. But, then why now and not before?

This sounds more like a type of self-expression rather than anything else because too much time has elapsed. She's probably re-married or is otherwise well established where she is now anyway for all I know. An email from me out of the blue may be too much out of place and won't have any practical grounding.
 

samspade

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That is interesting. I don't think it's even logical at this point to see if she's okay after 8 years when anything could have happened to her anyway within that time. I don't even know if she's alive now. I only saw her profile accidentally in a dating site in 2016 and that was 4 years ago (the same site I met her) to get an update about where she is at that time.

This sounds more like a type of self-expression rather than anything else because too much time has elapsed. She's probably re-married or is otherwise well established where she is now anyway for all I know. An email from me out of the blue may be too much out of place and won't have any practical grounding.
Gotcha. I didn't totally understand your previous post at first. But you're right, she could be dead, or if she survives this, could die of something else later this year.
 

RickTheToad

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....there is a pandemic going on, and nobody knows if you or her is going to be here tomorrow. What are you going to do? Going to go on an ex-contact spree or just keep them in the "moved-on, forget about them even if the planet explodes" box?
Sounds very weak and desperate. I wouldn't, but I'm a toad.. What do I know.........
 

Lynx nkaf

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No.
In my case the new couple could be 1.75 months pregnant. If the conception/new relationship occured on same day of no contact decision(breakup)Feb 12. I won't contact and embarass myself by being intrusive.

I am resigned for Them to contact Me, if at all.

My sincere, best wishes for their happiness.

There won't be any calls, texts or emails made to me though. I stopped holding my breath a couple weeks ago. Where is that profile post by EOTP?
"Judge everything by what it costs. Not just in money but also in time, dignity and peace of mind"

Brilliant, EyeOnThePrize. It just costs so much for me to contact.
 
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Black Widow Void

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Dude stop making up lies. It does NOT only affect people with existing health issues. Idiots like you are why its still spreading.
Any form of the flu will have its affect. This current one is no better nor worse. The point is, if we have no pre-existing health conditions, we need not get into a tizzy (or for gods sake, we need not publicly fashion those stupid sissy masks).
 
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