"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Who do these H0es think they are?

SmooveMooves

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Yooo,

Just a quick little experience that just happened-

So I'm taking a nap (Gotta get my beauty rest you know, gotta stay gorgeous) and someone dares to call during it and interrupt. I figure it HAD to be important you know, cause no one calls anymore, everything is done through text. So I pick myself up, and glance at my phone, unknown number, so I take a risk and answer and this is the conversation that followed, word for word.

Her: Hiiiiii Smoove {Sultry Voice}

Smoove: Who the fvck is this? {Very calmly}

Her: Wow.... you smoke weed?

Smoove: If you know Smoove, then you know Smoove doesn't partake in such activities.

Her: Do you know where I can get some?

Smoove: Sure.

Her: Can you bring it to me?

Smoove: [insert laugh] No, why, where are you?

Her: (Somewhere Far as fvck from me)

Smoove: [Insert Laugh] You're crazy as fvck, its cold as fvck outside.

Her: Please, I'll give you head.

Smoove: [Insert gut-busting laugh]

Her: If you thought I was serious, you're insane.

Smoove: Oh please, you would give me head just because I am Smoove just like you told me before. (I now know who she is, and what she's up to)

Voice in Background: What the **** -Insert standard HB Name-?!

Her: I don't know what he's talking about! {Whisper}

Voice in Background: Well whatever, tell him him you'll get freaky if he brings the weed

Her: (Repeats)

Smoove: What? no no no, not interested, don't want anymore of that loose moose pvssy. Appreciate the offer. {Sincerely}

Her: Well I was just-----
*I hangup mid-sentence*

This chick was a smoking....I mean smoking, ONS I had after a crazy party, at the time, my game wasn't tight enough to keep her, but im amazed she kept my number after all this time, i no longer had hers. And I bet mula her boyfriend doesn't say anything about the fact that I piped that chick like Mario. She's gorgeous, so I'm sure some pandering beta orbiter definetly will bring her & her boyfriend some grade A+ Mary Jane (Cannibus for the people who live under rocks)

I find it funny how she just thought she was going to use me, or for that matter, use anyone to benefiit her and that dude.Definetly an experience to share. Hahaha, she's still LQ.


WHO DO THESE HOES THINK THEY KIDDING?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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SeymourCake

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These hoes trying to use their vagina for power. lol

Good job.
 

Dgwizdal

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Piped that chick like Mario. I'm usin that
 

VladPatton

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"i piped that chick like mario" --funniest line I've read on SS in a while!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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SmooveMooves

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GotED? said:
Maybe she was using that weed excuse to contact you?

Anything is possible in a Hamster Brain.

Exodus
Nah, wishful thinking, I believe it was her boyfriend or whoever she was fvcking at the time speaking in the backround telling her what to say, hence the BJ offer.

Sounds like to me her and the Guy wanted to get high and she was calling through her contacts, trying to find some beta who pedastalized her to bring them some reefer.

Still amazes me, don't know who the fvck that chick thinks she is, its like -2 degrees where I am and I guarantee somebody she called tonight brought her some magic dragon wayyyy out to wherever the fvck she is.
 

adam225

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You should of just told her - "FVCK OFF, go and find someone that's stupid and desperate and enough to fall flat at your feet" *put phone down*

She would of loved that. :crackup:
 

SmooveMooves

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adam225 said:
You should of just told her - "FVCK OFF, go and find someone that's stupid and desperate and enough to fall flat at your feet" *put phone down*

She would of loved that. :crackup:
I wanted to...., but I wanted the Guy in the background to know I slayed that chick more.

Call it spite or what you will. LOL
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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