Who came up the rules for what makes a "real man"?

[FatHairyM4F]

From what I get from this board, a "real man" is: aggressive, competitive, strong (at least mentally/emotionally), tough, independent, secure in himself/doesn't depend on anyone else's approval, likes challenges, is always trying to improve himself, has long-term goals, a bit of a rebel, isn't very emotional, has "been around the block a few times", blah blah blah.

Well if that is the criteria then I am not anything even resembling a "real man" and really don't see any problem with that. I dont see why I should have to be in order to find a woman who will accept me and love me just the way I am. Im a bit on the timid side, passive, not interested in "social" activities, pretty inexperienced about life in general/innocent (I have NO idea why this would be considered a bad thing; to me it just means I'm a good person compared to most guys my age), pretty lazy, very insecure, get my feelings hurt easily...

I DO need a woman to love me, make me feel important, attractive, special, lovable. I'm very affectionate and want to constantly cuddle, hold hands, tell her how beautiful she is, talk about each other's feelings, call each other pet names, talk baby talk, etc. Ideally my whole world would revolve around her, and hers around me.

This isn't cave man days anymore. There's no wild animals we have to kill for food, or no other cavemen we have to protect our women from. We're supposed to be civilized today. So there's no reason why men have to be all "manly" and "macho" anymore. All that should matter is not doing anything illegal and stuff like that.

And I read some of Pook's "Fifteen Lessons" post. And I'm very much like the guy Pook describes who refuses to change because he (rightly) shouldn't have to change for anyone. Then Pook shows these 2 guys, both started out when they were little as mama's boys, one grew out of it and one didn't. And as Pook describes it the one who grew out of it is facing away from his mom's womb, the other still facing toward it. Why is one guy right and one guy wrong? Again, we aren't in the stone age, we're SUPPOSED to be civilized. The rules are supposed to be different today. We're supposed to be in a time when men and women can be whoever they want to be with no social labels. There still are lots of social labels, I see that and there aren't SUPPOSED to be!

Is there anyplace I can move to, where women don't have all these outdated rules about how "real men" act, and find timid passive guys like me sexy?

 

[backbreaker]

10,000 + years of history and survival of the fittest made the rules, I just live by them.

 

[djtdot]

No wonder you are on this site.

 

[Obsidian]

Why don't you just go find a doctor who specializes, ask for a sex change operation, and get your d1ck chopped off?

Step out of the matrix, man! You have to accept what you are. You will never be successful if you continue to deny reality.

You recognize that you are lazy, insecure, needy, overly sensitive, and basically a complete wimp, yet you refuse to change? Wow, you are truly pathetic. Good luck in life, pal.

Is there anyplace I can move to, where women don't have all these outdated rules about how "real men" act, and find timid passive guys like me sexy?

I don't know, maybe a retirement home or something

 

[Serialized3]

Fellas, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

 

[Obsidian]

Hey wuss, just tell us where your address is, and let us all come beat some sense in to you. Then you'll know the meaning and importance of power.

 

[fbplayer06]

Nobody made "rules." These traits simply make men attractive to women. I strongly suspect it's an instinctual desire in women to feel attracted to men who will be strong mates (in the reproduction sense); these characteristics translate (in modern terms) to overall confidence in men, which we luckily can work on to improve.

You don't see men in the street hitting each other with clubs or stabbing each other with spears as they fight for a women (as cavemen likely did), but you do see a more relaxed, confident, and cool DJ AMOGing the sh!t out of a few AFCs who are stupidly drooling around a girl. Who will she pick? Nowadays it's different from ancient times, but in some ways still the same.

 

[fbplayer06]

...pretty lazy, very insecure, get my feelings hurt easily...

I DO need a woman to love me, make me feel important, attractive, special, lovable. I'm very affectionate and want to constantly cuddle, hold hands, tell her how beautiful she is, talk about each other's feelings, call each other pet names, talk baby talk, etc. Ideally my whole world would revolve around her, and hers around me.

Oh wow...I didn't read your entire post before I replied last time. But now I see why the others were flaming you so badly. I am at a loss of words for how to respond to what you said...this is how pathetic your perspective and preferences are. First of all, if you are so lazy, insecure, and vulnerable, I suggest you work to fix these problems before you even think about getting into a relationship with a woman. If you aren't prepared to accept youself, then no other person will be willing to have her "world revolve around yours." Stated another way, would you want to be with a female version of YOU (with the same questionable qualities as you listed above)? If so, then no problem. If not, then don't expect to find anyone who will want you with the outlook you currently have.

I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything. I just want you to get in touch with reality. You're on this board ostensibly seeking help, so go for it and try to improve. But first you must understand wtf is going on. Good luck sir.

 

[insidious]

FatHairy, surely you are a troll.

Anyways, thousands of years of evolution has cemented our gender roles quite solidly for the forseeable future.

Sure our bones are smaller, our features have narrowed, and strangely enough we have become taller, but as a race, our genes and instincts still find their roots in ancient human civilization when "men" who indulged in your feminine ideals were most likely wiped off the face of the earth in a flurry of clubs and fire. I doubt cave women really sought a male who would sit home and cry in self-pity and indecision.

If you get scared, your heart beats rapidly and adrenaline floods your body, who cares if it was a spider that cause this reaction. There was no real danger, but tell that to your body reacting as it would have thousands of years ago.

 

[DJVladdy]

okay, so whats the point of this post? If you make the choice to be what you want to be, to stay in your comfort zone, that is perfectly fine. Every man chooses his own destiny. Why are you seeking approval or denial from other posters? There is no point. And you guys should not even judge him.

 

[Obsidian]

FatHairy, surely you are a troll.

yeah, i wondered about that, too. If it is, tho, it's a pretty convincing and well-written troll post.

 

[Last Man Standing]

FatHairy - these masculine hors are going to eat you alive!!!

It has nothing to do with "evolution" - a man did not evolve into a man and a woman evolve into a woman and by happenstance everything came out correctly for procreation purposes!! -- this doesn't make sense!

We were created to be complementary natures This is "The Natural Order Of Things"!!! http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=50480

 

[fbplayer06]

FatHairy - these masculine are going to eat you alive!!!

It has nothing to do with "evolution" - a man did not evolve into a man and a woman evolve into a woman and by happenstance everything came out correctly for procreation purposes!! -- this doesn't make sense!

We were created to be complementary natures This is "The Natural Order Of Things"!!! http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=50480

NO. We DID evolve to have each and every one of these traits; we weren't created by a "god" figure who shaped us to be how we are/attract what we attract.

The reason we are the way we are today (men are aggressive, women selective, ect. etc.) is because THESE CHARACTERISTICS WORKED IN THE PAST AND THUS WE STILL HAVE THEM TODAY BECAUSE THEY STILL WORK. We just need to understand our own internal makeup, which resulted from thousands of years of mutations (natures way of trial-and-error)...at last the result is what we have today (and what we have had since "modern" homo sapiens have roamed the earth).

We are like this FOR A REASON (evolution), not because we were "created" so.

I'm sure the OP doesn't want this thread to turn into a religious debate, but what you've said it totally ridiculous, especially in the face of this male/female courtship context.

 

[Disconnect]

OP is either a 13 year-old emo, is hopeless, or a troll. I'm going with the last one, but in case I'm wrong: If that's what's been working for you (throughout life in general), keep it up.

 

[Last Man Standing]

DevanE, have you been drinking/smoking?

Women cannot be equal when there are only two in the equation - did you not read The Natural Order Of Things?? Do you not know that chaos is the result when there is a split from two? And family cannot exist with chaos!!!

You have been angry lately - what's up? Do you need counsel? PM me!

 

[backbreaker]

Devane, your post is full of contridictions. i am not going to waste my time poiunting out one, as I have to get up in about 6 hours, but long story short, if you don't want to put in the committment to be what you deserve to be, if you want to attempt to buck thousands of years of what has worked all because your are too lazy to change, then it's no skin off my back.

but if you want to change, for the better, it's time you admit to yourself..

look in the mirror... and say I'm an AFC and I want to change.

 

[Moon Ram]

Hey Devan, you made me speechless. Women do NOT want a man who is their equal. You should think about changing your sex if you don't want to be masculine.

 

[Raikojo17]

while cuddling, pet names, holding hands and all that are cute and good for a bf.

your post is highly AFC and self defeating. your right, a real man shouldnt have to change for anyone, especially some dumb broad.

but a man is also confident in himself and not afraid to show his desires and take action. your saying that AFC is the way to be because you dont wanna be a "real man"

i cant agree with you on that one. sorry

 

[Last Man Standing]

Quit using the term "real" man - no such thing!!! There is only "man" and "woman" - this is The NaturAL ORDER OF THINGS!!!!!

 

[lyamdb]

is FATHAIRY even reading these posts? I doubt it. he said he's such a lazy azz!