Where do I go from here? Engaged woman seems to be interested in me.

Stoic

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So, I met a girl for about 15 minutes through work (not a co-worker that I will work with ever again, just a one time task). She displayed pretty clear IOI's. I call her, leave a voice mail, seeing if she wanted to grab a coffee. She texts me and says she would love to grab coffee, but wanted to let me know that she is engaged (she was not wearing a ring when I saw her). I actually never responded back to that text, thinking "I don't want to get involved with a woman that's engaged". Then, two days later, she texts me and says something to the effect that "the thing is that I am attracted to you, but in this relationship, and hope that I didn't think she was being crass" I said no, you are fine, don't worry about it at all. And I left it at that. A week later, unprompted by me, she texts me and says "wanna grab coffee?" At this point, I am curious. I agree to grab coffee as I would be in the area anyway.

We meet for coffee during a break. I learn that she has been with her fiancé for 7 years (Since age 19), and is having second thoughts of marrying him. Not for any particular reason, but I got the impression that she was questioning herself if she was just settling for this guy. I don't make any moves whatsoever. My thought was that I don't want to be responsible for breaking up a relationship or messing over another dude. However, if this girl wants to go on a fling or flings with other guys, to see what she may or may not be missing, I don't have a problem being that guy.

My question is where should I go from here? We met for coffee two days ago. Should I see if she'd be up for meeting again, maybe grab a drink near my place, then head to my place?

Appreciate any input.
 

billtx49

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An engagement after 7 years is a big commitment, but now you think she’s getting turned on by you. Exactly what does that say about her personality ?
Bros before hoes
She may be good for a bang or two, but do you really want to be an enabler to the personal damage that could be created?
 

samspade

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I learn that she has been with her fiancé for 7 years (Since age 19), and is having second thoughts of marrying him. Not for any particular reason, but I got the impression that she was questioning herself if she was just settling for this guy.
I'm confused - did she tell you she's having second thoughts, or was this just your impression?

Either way, at 26 and with the same guy for 7 years, and engaged...the seven-year itch. Personally I wouldn't get involved, but that's because I've done it before. I don't know what to tell you.
 

Stoic

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Thank billtx and samspade.

She told me she was having second thoughts.
 
R

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So, I met a girl for about 15 minutes through work (not a co-worker that I will work with ever again, just a one time task). She displayed pretty clear IOI's. I call her, leave a voice mail, seeing if she wanted to grab a coffee. She texts me and says she would love to grab coffee, but wanted to let me know that she is engaged (she was not wearing a ring when I saw her). I actually never responded back to that text, thinking "I don't want to get involved with a woman that's engaged". Then, two days later, she texts me and says something to the effect that "the thing is that I am attracted to you, but in this relationship, and hope that I didn't think she was being crass" I said no, you are fine, don't worry about it at all. And I left it at that. A week later, unprompted by me, she texts me and says "wanna grab coffee?" At this point, I am curious. I agree to grab coffee as I would be in the area anyway.

We meet for coffee during a break. I learn that she has been with her fiancé for 7 years (Since age 19), and is having second thoughts of marrying him. Not for any particular reason, but I got the impression that she was questioning herself if she was just settling for this guy. I don't make any moves whatsoever. My thought was that I don't want to be responsible for breaking up a relationship or messing over another dude. However, if this girl wants to go on a fling or flings with other guys, to see what she may or may not be missing, I don't have a problem being that guy.

My question is where should I go from here? We met for coffee two days ago. Should I see if she'd be up for meeting again, maybe grab a drink near my place, then head to my place?

Appreciate any input.
I don’t believe she is looking to get out of her “commitment”.
She wants to play a little. She won’t drop a sure thing until she can get another sure thing.
 

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Stoic

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Ranger, this is what I think as well.

She will only leave her current fiancé once she for sure lines up another guy who she sees as higher value (not necessarily saying me, just another guy who she perceives as higher value than her fiancé).
 

Trump

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I call her, leave a voice mail, seeing if she wanted to grab a coffee.
Wow. I would never leave a voicemail on a young woman’s phone in North America in 2019.

I actually never responded back to that text, thinking "I don't want to get involved with a woman that's engaged".
Good.

"the thing is that I am attracted to you, but in this relationship, and hope that I didn't think she was being crass" I said no, you are fine, don't worry about it at all. And I left it at that.
I would have said “yes you were being crass.” and left it at that.

A week later, unprompted by me, she texts me and says "wanna grab coffee?" At this point, I am curious. I agree to grab coffee as I would be in the area anyway.
Wait a minute bro. What happened to “I don’t want to get involved with an engaged women?”

It’s not ok to get involved with an engaged women after 1 text from her, but after 3 it’s ok?


My thought was that I don't want to be responsible for breaking up a relationship or messing over another dude. However, if this girl wants to go on a fling or flings with other guys, to see what she may or may not be missing, I don't have a problem being that guy.
“I don’t want to be responsible for breaking up a relationship, but if an engaged hot young girl wants to seduce me, take off her clothes and give me wild crazy sex, I don’t have a problem giving her my sex.“

How movie star of you.

Are you kidding bro? Stay away from an engaged women, don’t touch her with a 10 foot pole.

My question is where should I go from here? We met for coffee two days ago. Should I see if she'd be up for meeting again, maybe grab a drink near my place, then head to my place?
Bro didn’t you hear her say she is ENGAGED? She is going to MARRY the dude and get PREGNANT by him.

I would say “let me know when you break off your engagement, then we can see each other.”


Come on guys, don’t be desperate.
 

marmel75

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An engagement after 7 years is a big commitment, but now you think she’s getting turned on by you. Exactly what does that say about her personality ?
Bros before hoes
She may be good for a bang or two, but do you really want to be an enabler to the personal damage that could be created?
He isn't enabling anything. In fact he is likely doing that guy a favor...this chick will be cheating on this guy the second they get married if she isn't already and then they will get divorced and she will likely cost him a bunch of money as well.

If its not him it will be another guy. Why do people just assume that if OP doesnt go for it that things will just be "happy ever after" with the fiance and they will grow old together?

Besides this, anyone who is going to go out with someone for 7 years before marrying them is either gun shy or has doubts. Imho, these are "waste of time" marriages and will end in divorce almost everytime as their reason for getting married is due to their length of time going out rather than their wanting to actually being with each other...they are comfortable with each othe but likely not in love with each other.
 

backseatjuan

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I think Stoic you should definitely fck her. Her telling you that she's engaged and sht, that's just her way of saying she only wants sex and nothing else, you don't have to explain to her anything at this point. The way I understand it now, if chick in 2019 throws any kind of red flag, it's her way of saying she wants just sex.
 
R

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Women will say things like, I’m confused, I don’t know about him anymore, display red flags about her LTR, mainly for herself when she wants new dik but it means she wants you to jump her. It’s a go signal for you.
Would a woman say things like that to a man she isn’t interested in? Her justification factory is running and she wants you to make it ok for her to get side dik with you. This is pretty simple stuff. You won’t find a woman without a justification factory.

Now if she is complaining about him to you with basic girl drama, your not worthy and you’re just another girl with a penis.
 

Glassguy

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Fvck her brains out and keep it strictly sexual. No other investment.

Engagement doesnt mean married. I'm not sure that this is her first rendezvous but take advantage of it.

She sounds like perfect FB and plate material. If you do this correctly she will be chasing you hard after a few weeks. Just keep the hook in her mouth but dont reel her in.
 

Mauser96

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Personally, I'd pass.

Trouble you don't need, in more ways than one.
 

Skyline

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Ignore her.

She’ll cheat on someone else and the boyfriend may possibly have anger issues and try to fight/kill the guy.

Do you really want to risk that? It’s just drama that no man should be involved with.
 
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