Where are these other guys meeting these attractive women?

[yellowstoneman2012]

We've all seen plenty of other men walking around with cute dates, girlfriends and wives.

We constantly ask ourselves, why do these other men (half of them who are uglier than ourselves) have these women and we don't?

Why him and not me?

And yes, I know a man's good looks mean nothing if he has no personality or is socially awkward, but I am not either and most of you guys on here aren't as well.

Came in contact with a cute colleague who works in another location the other day. I probably had 15 years on her at least, but I kind of got a good vibe from her.

Saw on facebook she is involved with somebody and I said to myself "Of course she is!"

I doubt these men met these women at a bar or online either.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Ugh, a couple of my wings ask the same annoying question when gaming so I will give it to you straight up, assuming your goal is to just LTR a hot girl and not sleep with a lot. Based on my years of observations, here is how uglier men typically meet attractive women and end up with them.

Status within a certain social circle that she likes or one of her hobbies.

She likes arts, he is an actual artist. She is a fan of certain kinds of music, he is a performer in that genre or has a lot of connections there. Probably the most common way that uglier dudes get hot girls. You have status in her world and her scene such as her being a model and you being a photographer. Many examples of this but these are the main ones I could come up with. It also region dependent so some guy in the Southern US who is involved with the football team gets hot girls due to that. A safe bet is the service industry, plenty of bar owners and managers date and end up with girls way out of their league.

A great example of this is Greek Life. Plenty of average dudes get girls out of their league by paying to be in the right fraternity.

Having a certain edge and toughness to them and she values that.

Happens a lot in Eastern European culture where girls will date a guy who might not look the best but he can screw someone up badly in a fight. You also see it in areas like the American South where some fat chubby Bubba is dating a hot girl because he has been in his share of bar fights and she likes that. In other words, the dude might be ugly but he is edgy in a way where other men do not want to mess with him. Ugly dudes that do MMA still get hot girls. Other examples are bouncers at nightclubs but that kind of goes back to my last point.

Culture and religion.

She comes from a strict enough culture where in-group marriage is pushed and she is religious, the guy is religious too. I saw it all the time in Atlanta, a hot girl with a cuck looking guy because they happened to go to the same church. Again, awful for sleeping around but great for LTRs. That is why I never got that involved with religion.

A common thing these men have in common is that they are out living life, socializing hard with real people, and they grow on some of the girls.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

social status/exposure

 

[SmoothSmooth]

girls go for vibe and value.

Let’s say she is hot, he played it cool, wasn’t as thirsty as other guys.
Assortative mating is real - most people mate someone of matched social value as themselves when it comes to LTR

Also just because she is ‘hot’ doesn’t make her a good catch - she could have emotional issues, use cocaine every weekend, have a string of failed relationships, have been pumped and dumped several times etc

 

[Velasco]

Proximity/exposure

 

[Stanley]

The put themselves in the periphery of women. whether that be from work, social groups, social media, Old or whatever else. It ain't rocket science

 

[Millard Fillmore]

We've all seen plenty of other men walking around with cute dates, girlfriends and wives.

We constantly ask ourselves, why do these other men (half of them who are uglier than ourselves) have these women and we don't?

Why him and not me?

And yes, I know a man's good looks mean nothing if he has no personality or is socially awkward, but I am not either and most of you guys on here aren't as well.

Came in contact with a cute colleague who works in another location the other day. I probably had 15 years on her at least, but I kind of got a good vibe from her.

Saw on facebook she is involved with somebody and I said to myself "Of course she is!"

I doubt these men met these women at a bar or online either.

Where? Anywhere and everywhere. I've met women in stores, banks, fast food joints, on the street, at social functions, etc. etc. Bars of course too, and through work which I don't recommend.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Where? Anywhere and everywhere. I've met women in stores, banks, fast food joints, on the street, at social functions, etc. etc. Bars of course too, and through work which I don't recommend.

^ Pretty much this. The more social and available to the world you are, the more you have chances of meeting and interacting with beautiful girls. They're everywhere in all honesty.. but if you sit at home most of the time when not at work, its going to be hard to find them.. especially because dating apps are not made to work in most dudes favor.

& Also just having alot of friends.. or friends in general.. It's so easy to meet people when you have friends that invite new friends around often. Ofc you want a friend group that actively hangs out and does sht, not one that is all introverted.

 

[SW15]

A great example of this is Greek Life. Plenty of average dudes get girls out of their league by paying to be in the right fraternity.

This is true. Do these relationships last? I think most college-formed couples don't last more than 3-5 years beyond graduation.

A common thing these men have in common is that they are out living life, socializing hard with real people, and they grow on some of the girls.

This is why meeting women in real life is superior to the tech-based methods.

 

[Solomon]

social status/exposure

Which 90% of modern men don't have

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Ugh, a couple of my wings ask the same annoying question when gaming so I will give it to you straight up, assuming your goal is to just LTR a hot girl and not sleep with a lot. Based on my years of observations, here is how uglier men typically meet attractive women and end up with them.

Status within a certain social circle that she likes or one of her hobbies.

She likes arts, he is an actual artist. She is a fan of certain kinds of music, he is a performer in that genre or has a lot of connections there. Probably the most common way that uglier dudes get hot girls. You have status in her world and her scene such as her being a model and you being a photographer. Many examples of this but these are the main ones I could come up with. It also region dependent so some guy in the Southern US who is involved with the football team gets hot girls due to that. A safe bet is the service industry, plenty of bar owners and managers date and end up with girls way out of their league.

A great example of this is Greek Life. Plenty of average dudes get girls out of their league by paying to be in the right fraternity.

Having a certain edge and toughness to them and she values that.

Happens a lot in Eastern European culture where girls will date a guy who might not look the best but he can screw someone up badly in a fight. You also see it in areas like the American South where some fat chubby Bubba is dating a hot girl because he has been in his share of bar fights and she likes that. In other words, the dude might be ugly but he is edgy in a way where other men do not want to mess with him. Ugly dudes that do MMA still get hot girls. Other examples are bouncers at nightclubs but that kind of goes back to my last point.

Culture and religion.

She comes from a strict enough culture where in-group marriage is pushed and she is religious, the guy is religious too. I saw it all the time in Atlanta, a hot girl with a cuck looking guy because they happened to go to the same church. Again, awful for sleeping around but great for LTRs. That is why I never got that involved with religion.

A common thing these men have in common is that they are out living life, socializing hard with real people, and they grow on some of the girls.

You forgot the most important aspect of all.

Luck. Being in the right place at the right time when she is BOTH available AND looking.

You could be exactly what she wants but if either one of those things isn't true it likely isn't going to progress any further.

So much of dating simply comes down to luck. The best thing you can do is put yourself in position to take advantage of that when the opportunity comes around.

 

[jaymbrs]

I’ve said this before, there’s no such thing as a hot and single woman. She’s either involved with 1 guy or 5 on some level or she’s a lesbian.

 

[sangheilios]

You forgot the most important aspect of all.

Luck. Being in the right place at the right time when she is BOTH available AND looking.

You could be exactly what she wants but if either one of those things isn't true it likely isn't going to progress any further.

So much of dating simply comes down to luck. The best thing you can do is put yourself in position to take advantage of that when the opportunity comes around.

I honestly often disagree with you on this forum and we've had some arguments at times, but I totally agree with this and was going to mention this point to the OP until I read your post.

I truly believe that one of the biggest variables that tons of men seem to totally be oblivious to is purely related to luck. From what I've seen, most men that are in relationships didn't have to invest tons of time into reading pick up theory, post on forums like this, work tirelessly on game or conversational skills, go to singles, events, etc. These men simply just by chance crossed paths with the right woman at the right time and the right place.

Luck would be you cross paths with this specific woman at a time where she is actually single AND also looking/open to meeting men. A lot of women may be single but honestly aren't open to dating unless you really create high interest. She may have interest but is in a relationship at that time. She could have interest but is also entertaining other men at that given time and another one of them has higher priority, I believe that this is the biggest issue that most single men today deal with.

This is why the dating world can be so difficult and frustrating for so many young men. They read **** online about getting in shape, so they hit the gym and actually look pretty good. They may see something about style and dressing better, so they invest in some new outfits, attire, etc. Then they read stuff about working on conversational skills, so they go out and practice or maybe take improv classes. The mindset this creates is that if they work hard in theses various factors they should be able to get dates, land a relationship, etc. The problem is that they are totally unaware of this luck variable and because of this may become quite frustrated.

I think in the right set of circumstances they may literally have no results to show for any of these efforts......can you imagine how that would feel? Imagine putting in a ton of effort into yourself and yet having absolutely nothing to show for it with dating success. Now, imagine this AND also being a man in this position seeing other men in relationships, dating, etc. that aren't even putting in any effort to where it just seems like everything just lines up for them? I think this would legitimately result in some mental health issues if it went on for a long enough period of time, may result in totally giving up, etc.

 

[Mike32ct]

There is no such thing as luck. Probabilities yes. Yea people hit the lottery every day but this game is not Russian roulette.
You can create your own reality and frame.
Believing in luck tells me I am on the line as whoa as me I am the unlucky man.

Attitude means a lot in this world and I had to learn that the hard way.

That is true, but I don't think they mean "luck" literally in this context. Nobody is suggesting that you rub a rabbit's foot before you go out.

They mean finding the "right person at the right time." The probability of that happening is the product of those individual probabilities. Somebody who found a good relationship somehow met the right person at the right time.

There are definitely things one can do that might increase that probability, and it wouldn't hurt to do so. But even so, you can't guarantee that success will come tomorrow or even next week because your number still has to come up.

 

[SW15]

social status/exposure

Which 90% of modern men don't have

Alexander Grace did a great video on this a while back. He said meeting women and getting quality girlfriends comes down to your social life. He's an advocate of building your social life rather than relying upon tech-based dating methods and approaching strangers in real life. Based on my experiences using tech-based dating methods and approaching strangers in real life, I would agree with the conclusions in this video. While I do have male friends, I have never had a social circle that provided me with quality introductions to potential dating partners, which is why I've had to rely on either using tech-based methods (which I stopped doing) or approaching strangers in real life (better than tech-based methods but extremely difficult and not a great choice).

I truly believe that one of the biggest variables that tons of men seem to totally be oblivious to is purely related to luck. From what I've seen, most men that are in relationships didn't have to invest tons of time into reading pick up theory, post on forums like this, work tirelessly on game or conversational skills, go to singles, events, etc. These men simply just by chance crossed paths with the right woman at the right time and the right place.

Luck would be you cross paths with this specific woman at a time where she is actually single AND also looking/open to meeting men. A lot of women may be single but honestly aren't open to dating unless you really create high interest. She may have interest but is in a relationship at that time. She could have interest but is also entertaining other men at that given time and another one of them has higher priority, I believe that this is the biggest issue that most single men today deal with.

When I consider my local area social circle, there are a mix of methods that they've used to find their LTR girlfriends/wives. Social circle/social network is the most common, followed by stranger approaching at bars, and then old school dating websites for guys I know around age 50 with 10+ year long relationships now. With social circle/social network being most common, it would validate the Alexander Grace video and @Velasco above.

None of my social circle ever tried daygame, so there's a reason daygame has produced zero relationships among my local area social circle.

I have had a weaker social circle. While some of my friends/acquaintances in social circle formed relationships with women through social circle, the two relationships that formed in my social circle had interesting circumstances. In these 2 circumstances, the women had multiple men in the circle competing for them. One of the women even had a prudish reputation, which I was unaware of when I was competing for her. If that woman had actually gone on a date with me, she probably would have disliked my attempts to escalate sexually in the first 1-2 dates.

This is why the dating world can be so difficult and frustrating for so many young men. They read **** online about getting in shape, so they hit the gym and actually look pretty good. They may see something about style and dressing better, so they invest in some new outfits, attire, etc. Then they read stuff about working on conversational skills, so they go out and practice or maybe take improv classes. The mindset this creates is that if they work hard in theses various factors they should be able to get dates, land a relationship, etc. The problem is that they are totally unaware of this luck variable and because of this may become quite frustrated.

I think in the right set of circumstances they may literally have no results to show for any of these efforts......can you imagine how that would feel? Imagine putting in a ton of effort into yourself and yet having absolutely nothing to show for it with dating success. Now, imagine this AND also being a man in this position seeing other men in relationships, dating, etc. that aren't even putting in any effort to where it just seems like everything just lines up for them? I think this would legitimately result in some mental health issues if it went on for a long enough period of time, may result in totally giving up, etc.

All of this is accurate.

 

[Mike32ct]

Im sure there is some truth to this but I think that truth is by men who believe in the "quality" or "good" girl conundrum.

I personally dont because of what I have seen their actions say.
A good girl is made by the man. Not found or stumbled upon. She is made over time. Some take different tools and different ways and "guys" to be moulded into each mans givin frame if he has any.
If not then she sniffs it out. Puts him through the betafication process then blows it up.
She then rinses and repeats.

Everything about a womans existance is cyclic. From her monthly cycle to her moods to her phases of life and relationships. There is nothing random about it.

Fair enough. I believe in good girls and think they come from the right family, usually the right father plus having a good brother also helps.

Women that have a brother are night and day different versus an only child or one that only had sister(s). They understand men so much better. But that’s a whole other topic.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is no such thing as luck. Probabilities yes. Yea people hit the lottery every day but this game is not Russian roulette.
You can create your own reality and frame.
Believing in luck tells me I am on the line as whoa as me I am the unlucky man.

Attitude means a lot in this world and I had to learn that the hard way.

Luck is the intersection of preparation and opportunity.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And that oppertunity is dictated by her cycle and were she is in that betification process. Its not NOT there. Its biology. Yiur missing the forest for the trees. No issue. A lot of men do.

Not always dependant on her cycle. If she just broke up with her boyfriend and is not wanting to date there isn't much you can do to overcome that. And even if you do you'll likely get a "I'm just not ready" after a few weeks.

Then there are all the times people cross paths and there really isn't anything other than luck involved that you have no control over...maybe you got stuck in traffic on the way to the office and then stopped for a coffee and ended up meeting a woman in line in front of you when on a normal day you would have been there 30 minutes earlier and never crossed paths with her.

You still need to take advantage of the opportunity but being there in the first place was luck...it was 100% out of your control that traffic was terrible that day and you ran late.

 

[Doctor Europeo]

I’ve said this before, there’s no such thing as a hot and single woman. She’s either involved with 1 guy or 5 on some level or she’s a lesbian.

So your choices are become guy #6 or seduce a lesbian?

@yellowstoneman2012 I dont disagree with you or with [USER=137861]@jaymbrs or with [/USER @stringpuller ] . But we dont always need a hot girl. Sometimes a girl who just passes the boner test and gives you mental peace is all you really need. Just my three cents

 

[sangheilios]

There is no such thing as luck. Probabilities yes. Yea people hit the lottery every day but this game is not Russian roulette.
You can create your own reality and frame.
Believing in luck tells me I am on the line as whoa as me I am the unlucky man.

Attitude means a lot in this world and I had to learn that the hard way.

It is luck though, or if you want to word it differently it's a numbers game, etc.

I saw a stat recently, which also made the headlines of mainstream media, where only about 1/3 of young women are single vs. 2/3 of men being single. Now, some of these women that claim to be in relationships are honestly just side pieces, FWBs, etc. but probably aren't aware of it lol.

So, let's take these numbers at face value. If only 1/3 of women are single/available that greatly reduces the number of women you could realistically date. Out of this many women, what are the chances that you'd even be able to cross paths with them in the first place to where you meet one another? OLD is trash and has abysmal success for men so I'm going to completely eliminate this option and stick to purely real life interactions.

Now, out of all of these interactions how many of these women are going to be in a place mentally where they are even open to dating? Maybe her grandma died last week, or she recently brokeup with her bf or maybe her mom is sick in the hospital......just about any variable can potentially take her off of the dating market in that given time period.

Now, let's say she is open to dating a man, what's to say she is even attracted to you in the first place? Women are far pickier now than they have ever been so there is a high probability that she will place you in the reject bin, as she does with the vast majority of men. Let's say she is interested, there is a very high probability that she is also talking to other men at that given period in time. You might click x amount of boxes but this other guy she met off tinder clicks even more and naturally he is placed higher on her list over you.

Now, let's say you actually do get her on a date, which is really when your chances actually begin to increase. You get her on a first date but it does not lead to a 2nd date. This could be for a million reasons, maybe she just wasn't really feeling there was any real compatibility. Maybe you have a particular quirk or mannerism that she did not initially pick up on that bothers her. I could go on and on. This also could even occur over the span of a couple dates that ultimately does not lead to anything.

With all of this said, we aren't even factoring in if YOU as the man are interested in this woman after all of this lol. It's not at all difficult to understand how there are so many young men that are single and frustrated with no dating/sex lives at all. This is a horrible dating market and the vast majority of men that you see that are in relationships got lucky. They were not spending a ton of time working on game, hitting up the gym or working tirelessly on self improvement. Most of these guys were just lucky to be in the right place at the right time with no real effort and things lined up for them. These guys aren't Chads or celebrities or pro athletes, etc. they just got lucky.

On the flip side, there are many men that are just unlucky with their dating lives. There are tons of men that have a ton of stuff going for them that put a lot of effort into bettering themselves that have little to no success. None of these things like being in shape, doing well financially, have hobbies, etc. guarantee that you will be able to land a relationship, though in theory they should greatly increase your chances. This is not how the world works. A guy could be 6'2", 210 that is active and fit, has a good paying job and does well for himself. He has no real issues that should be an immediate turn off (drugs, alcoholic, etc.) but yet is chronically single because he was unlucky in that nothing ever lined up for him in regards to his dating life. He could have crossed paths with women but just had terrible timing on each and every interaction. Eventually he gets frustrated, begins to place less and less importance on it and his exposure greatly decreases, which makes this issue even worse.