Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Where are these "other guys" meeting LTR material women--The Million dollar question we all have!

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,053
Reaction score
3,825
Interestingly there are TWO active threads with the exact same question: namely how to meet a (long term) gf and why some plain average men can pull this off . And this question will be posted in different form every two weeks.

That shows me this is basically one of the biggest questions (perpetually single) men have. And I get it. A grown man living in a vacuum of predictably can already predict he WON'T meet women..he'll go to work, come home and maybe get hammered ina bar every now and then NOT getting the ONS he was looking for..

Here are some tips that might help you find such a woman;

- the first and foremost thing is become the ideal version of the ideal partner. Dont wait until you "find her" to start making steps. Dont wait for her to highlight you flaws. Be aware of your weaknesses and work on them.

- be able to answer what do YOU bring to the table. What sets you apart from the any other AFC.

- no matter your results you MUST carry yourself with a "God complex". Why? Because you need to attract. You have ZERO clue about what's the actual glue in "normie " his relationship. Maybe he gets cucked. Maybe he's a millionaire. Maybe they're in the puppy love phase.

-to allude to the previous point: create a woman friendly environment. Take the BEST things life would give you if you would live with a woman. E.g tidiness, hygiene, style, recreational activities and things, full fridge ect ect. Even when you are single.

-needless to say, but make sure you are im shape,both mentally and physically.

- position yourself strategically in the proximity of the type of woman you want. E.g you like rock music? Visit rock concerts. You like pawgs? Visit urban like parties. You like Latinas? Learn to dance salsa. Plan these events year round.

-lastly. Start loving women like you did when you were younger. Dont let all the redpill stories get to you. Love women for what they are, without being a naive chump.

Hope this helps.
Become the equivalent of an hb8,5 ,the male version.

Picture what type of woman you want. And work towards that. Every- damn- day.
 

Solomon

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 28, 2008
Messages
5,054
Reaction score
2,097
Location
Inside her mind
For the longest Pua community and this community scoffed at the notion of social circle
WHy? my thoughts is cause most guys who wanted to bang away ha ha, however I noticed RSD changing their stance on it several years ago but even the "Social Circle Game" they were pushing was superficial and not realastic (Get a group of guys and buy bottles every weekend BORING)
For me I always wanted one,not for the sake of banging chicks but to be around like minded invividuals like myself. I have build social circles from scratch/intergrated myself into one etc rise and repeat. These weren't dorks but fly guys who had local clout, some had bread, some had looks and clout but BROKE, some had money and status but no looks etc. I wanted to surround myself with successfull, motivated invidiuals. Just a word of warning some social circles can be competitive this is why vetting the group is important for you as well.

It's not easy to do espeically once you're 30+ Most guys don't want to do it cause let's be honest it's hard work. Honestly I don't blame them, lot of people out there who only want to hang with ya because of what you can do for them and not because they may rock with you for real. However IMO it's easier to do than hitting the damn club every weekend hoping to get a ONS.

From personal experince I've gone on dates with or dated women would would have never giving me the time of day in bars/clubs. Also Social circles you're pre-vetted you're not a number like on swipe apps or some stranger hitting on her at the bar. Don't build or intergate yourself into a social circle hoping to bang chicks, you should do it because you sincerely enjoy being around a group of people eventually if it's a group of quality people, you will meet a shorty that's LTR material although it's not always the case or guranteed.

Never was a fan of "PUA social circles" you know where a bunch of guys meet up every weekend to "Sarge" those never worked out for me because a lot of PUA dudes are weirods lol
 

sangheilios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Messages
2,583
Reaction score
2,629
Age
34
@oc16

You are totally correct with the comment you made about where these people are NOT meeting lol. You might see things like meetup groups, bars, coed sports leagues, etc. being mentioned as places where single people can meet one another but this just isn't the case. From my observations, most of these people in relationships you see basically had things just line up for them with little effort, almost like it was destiny. They did NOT need to go out of their way to try to meet someone, nor did men need to invest a bunch of time and energy into learning "game" or attending PUA bootcamps or other such nonsense.

In my personal opinion, I think a lot of these people that found someone to enter into a solid, long term relationship got lucky. Speaking for the men specifically, the overwhelming majority of these men do not have some magic "game" or something along those lines, they just got lucky. One interesting idea to consider though is to determine how old these people were when they met each other and where and how they met. I believe the common trend you will find is that they will probably fairly young when they met, as in no later than mid 20s, and probably met through a social circle of some sorts.

Recently I was in Vegas and walking around the strip and also on Freemont street I noticed I was taller and more muscular/fitter looking than the overwhelming majority of men. At the time, I was 225 with a six pack at my height of 6'4". The only exception I noticed was when I saw the Chippendale's dancers doing photos for tourists out on the street, I was actually taller than all of those guys and bigger but not quite as cut. Anyway, I later on stopped and thought about this when I also would noticed average(ish) looking men in relationships and wondered what exactly they did in order to get that while I have chronically gotten nothing.

I am convinced we have an issue in society where a good number of men are perpetually frustrated in the dating market and have nothing to show for their efforts. Meanwhile, there are guys who got lucky finding a decent girl to enter into a relationship with, which in turn takes her off of the market. This basically only leaves literal leftovers and women that are excessively fussy/picky, which makes things even more difficult for the men already struggling or frustrated.
 

I_have_BDE

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 2, 2023
Messages
521
Reaction score
236
Age
40
Yes I see it a lot too I think its worse when your actively searching for a good quality woman to settle with

I can remember I was doing some work in a cafe last summer sat outside , this couple arrive and sit on a table next too me the chicks a blonde HB 8 in a cute little summer dress nice painted nails / toes etc attractive girl most guys are going to be proud to have with them

The dude is physically just your average guy maybe like 5 10-11" didn't seem like any sort of chad didnt even look like he went to the gym ..... obviously I dont know all the facts but I was asking myself

a) where the fvck did this guy meet this chick

b) how the fvck has he managed too beat all the other competition for her


And I have to admit I see this type of scenario a lot in day to day life and it does baffle me

I'm about 5'10 so just about average height and I'm seeing guys my height and shorter with what I would consider very very nice quality women

Yet most of the time when I'm going to meet women or approaching single women of the same standard IRL at some stage I will usually get a comment like " wish you were a little taller " maybe not a dealbreaker but I definitely feel like from there I have an uphill battle and it can become wearing

I know sometimes you can get lucky and meet them girls who your attracted too and they are into you from the word go but I will meet one of these maybe once a year if I am lucky its not like I have them beating down my door

I'm usually dealing with women I'm not really that bothered about or I will just withdraw and not deal with any at all

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A lot of it I guess is do with social circles ........if you're pre qualified in a circle you definitely get an easier ride With the females in that circle you get more leeway for minor mistakes , you have time to build up familiarity , you get endorsements from others in the group and physical traits seem to matter far less

I built up a strong social network in my gym last year before I moved and I can say it definitely helped getting other chicks in the gym interested in me

Dating shouldn't really be highly reliant on others opinons or perception of you as a person but I feel it definitely it is the key
How old are you and what age women you're going for?
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,278
Reaction score
2,379
Very different in asia. Hence I got an Asian woman.
Their social circle is their family basically and they generally don’t care jack about your friend group. They want a guy who is solidly committed to their family and that’s it.

they would actually see a large social circle as a disadvantage except for a business circle. In which case they would support you all the way in that. I can take a weekend away no problem with business colleagues and they don’t care much what you’re doing provided you come home, and continue being a contributor in all ways to the family.

I lost a social circle post divorce and worried a lot with my new wife she would see how isolated I was. Turns out she has no interest in any social circle outside family and would rather I didn’t bother.

Being honest I live in a super liberal city and I don’t like a lot of the people here. I have a few social groups, I have a golf group, a networking group and a football group. What I don’t enjoy is the kind of dinner party clique, I basically like male company with a purpose like golf. I don’t like sitting around conversing and invariably drinking and doing coke. I’ve done that too much.

Back to the question, I dont envy half the people I see with a “hot” western girl, I know what that entails and for whatever reason I don’t enjoy that lifestyle. I like a close family unit and I never want a woman who goes out drinking, or has a circle of western girls all divorcing their husbands and watching trash TV.

In this culture people will look down on me for choosing an Asian gal but I’m far happier now than I’ve ever been. I might not have been like this at 25 but in my 40s it’s great. I’m long past wanting to have any sort of exciting social lifestyle and have seen what kind of future awaits men with western wives. I know there are exceptions but on the whole, they don’t seem to be happy.
 

BaronOfHair

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
243
Reaction score
122
Age
34
"Where are these "other guys" meeting LTR material women--The Million dollar question we all have!"

Out in the fresh air, I.E. Anywhere that's not in front of their keyboards
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
3,705
Reaction score
3,109
Recently I was in Vegas and walking around the strip and also on Freemont street I noticed I was taller and more muscular/fitter looking than the overwhelming majority of men. At the time, I was 225 with a six pack at my height of 6'4". The only exception I noticed was when I saw the Chippendale's dancers doing photos for tourists out on the street, I was actually taller than all of those guys and bigger but not quite as cut. Anyway, I later on stopped and thought about this when I also would noticed average(ish) looking men in relationships and wondered what exactly they did in order to get that while I have chronically gotten nothing.
I think that maybe, just maybe, you're a bit too obsessed about length and body, both of yourself and other men, and maybe that gets into your vibe / energy, spoiling your interactions with women.
 

Pierce Manhammer

Moderator
Joined
Jun 2, 2021
Messages
4,618
Reaction score
5,577
Location
PRC
As I’ve said before : most men overestimate their SMV pretty severely, this board is not immune to this disease.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,053
Reaction score
3,825
For the longest Pua community and this community scoffed at the notion of social circle
WHy? my thoughts is cause most guys who wanted to bang away ha ha, however I noticed RSD changing their stance on it several years ago but even the "Social Circle Game" they were pushing was superficial and not realastic (Get a group of guys and buy bottles every weekend BORING)
For me I always wanted one,not for the sake of banging chicks but to be around like minded invividuals like myself. I have build social circles from scratch/intergrated myself into one etc rise and repeat. These weren't dorks but fly guys who had local clout, some had bread, some had looks and clout but BROKE, some had money and status but no looks etc. I wanted to surround myself with successfull, motivated invidiuals. Just a word of warning some social circles can be competitive this is why vetting the group is important for you as well.

It's not easy to do espeically once you're 30+ Most guys don't want to do it cause let's be honest it's hard work. Honestly I don't blame them, lot of people out there who only want to hang with ya because of what you can do for them and not because they may rock with you for real. However IMO it's easier to do than hitting the damn club every weekend hoping to get a ONS.

From personal experince I've gone on dates with or dated women would would have never giving me the time of day in bars/clubs. Also Social circles you're pre-vetted you're not a number like on swipe apps or some stranger hitting on her at the bar. Don't build or intergate yourself into a social circle hoping to bang chicks, you should do it because you sincerely enjoy being around a group of people eventually if it's a group of quality people, you will meet a shorty that's LTR material although it's not always the case or guranteed.

Never was a fan of "PUA social circles" you know where a bunch of guys meet up every weekend to "Sarge" those never worked out for me because a lot of PUA dudes are weirods lol
I agree.

This is LONG TERM and steady game. Not specifically aimed at women but at one self. This is what I mean when I say you should live a lifestyle for YOU, and as a great side effect you can meet like minded women. I

Why you hit the gym is the best example. A man must find a place where he starts hitting the gym rather functional and for himself than just to show off to women.

Gotta stop chasing that damn dragon and use that energy to do bigger things. Take the lead, organize something, get people together and be on the road. Wished I would see this type of advice more often.
 

Gamisch

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2022
Messages
3,053
Reaction score
3,825
I think that maybe, just maybe, you're a bit too obsessed about length and body, both of yourself and other men, and maybe that gets into your vibe / energy, spoiling your interactions with women.
The mind is way harder to reshape than the body.

Dude is the perfect example of this. Its easy to neglect that part while you complain blame "the man".

For one, if you truly believe that you check all boxes it's time to adress your PERSONALITY. Being friendlier, more open, less tough guy ect will go a long ,long way.
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
877
Reaction score
857
Age
45
For the longest Pua community and this community scoffed at the notion of social circle
WHy? my thoughts is cause most guys who wanted to bang away ha ha, however I noticed RSD changing their stance on it several years ago but even the "Social Circle Game" they were pushing was superficial and not realastic (Get a group of guys and buy bottles every weekend BORING)
For me I always wanted one,not for the sake of banging chicks but to be around like minded invividuals like myself. I have build social circles from scratch/intergrated myself into one etc rise and repeat. These weren't dorks but fly guys who had local clout, some had bread, some had looks and clout but BROKE, some had money and status but no looks etc. I wanted to surround myself with successfull, motivated invidiuals. Just a word of warning some social circles can be competitive this is why vetting the group is important for you as well.

It's not easy to do espeically once you're 30+ Most guys don't want to do it cause let's be honest it's hard work. Honestly I don't blame them, lot of people out there who only want to hang with ya because of what you can do for them and not because they may rock with you for real. However IMO it's easier to do than hitting the damn club every weekend hoping to get a ONS.

From personal experince I've gone on dates with or dated women would would have never giving me the time of day in bars/clubs. Also Social circles you're pre-vetted you're not a number like on swipe apps or some stranger hitting on her at the bar. Don't build or intergate yourself into a social circle hoping to bang chicks, you should do it because you sincerely enjoy being around a group of people eventually if it's a group of quality people, you will meet a shorty that's LTR material although it's not always the case or guranteed.

Never was a fan of "PUA social circles" you know where a bunch of guys meet up every weekend to "Sarge" those never worked out for me because a lot of PUA dudes are weirods lol
My guess is that most men want to believe they have power and merit in all important affairs, including the sexual market. Their success will be or was earned, whereas an average man who met his woman didn’t “put in the work,” and “didn’t earn it.”
 

Manure Spherian

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 16, 2023
Messages
877
Reaction score
857
Age
45
My guess is that most men want to believe they have power and merit in all important affairs, including the sexual market. Their success will be or was earned, whereas an average man who met his woman didn’t “put in the work,” and “didn’t earn it.”
It’s similar to people who get hung up on the topic of self made.

“That guy is loaded.”

“Yeah, but like, he’s not self made. He had rich patents. He’s not self-made. He didn’t earn it.” Lol.
 

JoyDivision1990

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2023
Messages
475
Reaction score
451
The venue where you meet doesn't matter, it could be anywhere, the "where" doesn't matter.

It's "how" you interact with her when you DO meet. It could be the gym, a party, a bar, the street! I agree online isn't ideal but know long term couples who have.

Up your "Game" for lack of a better word, improve your social skills, stay in great shape, show confidence and act naturally, not like you're intentionally trying to "pick her up."
That can come off as contrived and forced.

And learn timing, when it's right to approach. it's not always and when it's not, you're more likely to get rejected.

Wait for her to show IOIs, versus being a goon and immediately showing your hand. Lol

$.02 and I'm female btw. :D
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
3,705
Reaction score
3,109
It's "how" you interact with her when you DO meet. It could be the gym, a party, a bar, the street! I agree online isn't ideal but know long term couples who have.
I got one LTR because she got stuck in an elevator by chance and I kept her from panicking.
 

JoyDivision1990

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2023
Messages
475
Reaction score
451
I got one LTR because she got stuck in an elevator by chance and I kept her from panicking.
I met my recent boyfriend in an elevator! His big dog jumped on me, we started chatting and laughing and he asked me to meet him that night for a drink!

It was all very natural and spontaneous which are the best types of meets imo!
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,278
Reaction score
2,379
I think that maybe, just maybe, you're a bit too obsessed about length and body, both of yourself and other men, and maybe that gets into your vibe / energy, spoiling your interactions with women.
My guess is social skills.

I’ve been confirmed overweight in these situations and done incredibly well as I can chat shyt to anyone.

my favourite chat up was to ask a girl “I bet you £5 I can touch your teeets without moving my hands”

girl accepts

I just straight up feel her teets and hand her £5.

if you have the frame and social skills you can make this sound fun and not like a creepy rpist

maybe things have changed now but this was a-ok for me up to 2008
 

AmsterdamAssassin

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 4, 2023
Messages
3,705
Reaction score
3,109
It was all very natural and spontaneous which are the best types of meets imo!
I worked temp as security in an office building when a parking elevator went haywire and aimlessly went up and down without stopping. The woman inside called me but she was clearly panicking, so after I called the elevator service, I was with her on the elevator phone for close to an hour talking with her to keep her calm until the elevator mechanic could set her free. After that she fell in love with me.
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
13,116
Reaction score
14,031
Everywhere...I keep telling people that if you just take advantage of opportunities while you are out and about going about your day to day life you will do far better than if you set up times to go out and "hunt" for women or only try while out at bars or clubs.

You will come across as more natural, more congruent with your true self and you'll be more relaxed. Just let it happen and go with the flow.

So the answer is...they are meeting them everywhere. They just take advantage of opportunities that are right in front of your face that you aren't even seeing because you aren't focused on it at that time.

Sometimes social circles can be a great place too, especially in your early to mid twenties when people aren't married yet.
 
Last edited:

itouchyou

Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2023
Messages
198
Reaction score
125
I don't think social circle or money matters at all if a guy is a complete package. I think women can intuitively tell based on how a guy speaks and behaves, whether he has a social circle or not.

My roommate back in college was a GDI. He'd bang some hot, HOT women, some from sororities, some just from randomly approaching. He wasn't meeting these women through friends, wasn't meeting them by proving he had any status.

What made it work for him
1) 6'0'' & jacked. He was a fat **** initially but cut down 80lbs in one go, then bulked up about 40lbs. He ended at about 6'0'' 190lbs lean, and his arms looked like tree trunks. 16.5" lean arms without flexing.
2) Solid face
3) Charisma/game <-- this was huge. To this day I don't know of anyone as witty as he is.

He'd bang women very quickly and pretty much every time, they'd try to rope him into a relationship and he'd just bail. Lmao
 
Top