Where are all the quality ladies?

gaspipe

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Serialized3 said:
Hello Gentlemen -

Kind of posting this off-the-cuff; I figure you guys would know better than just about anyone about how and where to find a true quality girl.

I've been looking for a solid quality girl for a little while - mainly for dating/LTR but I am open to marriage in not too distant future. I think my wild-boy PUA days are a pretty much behind me, and I'm kind of looking towards the big picture. The kind of girl I want is at least 7+ in looks, but more importantly is a girl who is feminine, compassionate, (relatively) confident, and does not have serious issues relating to daddy/body/men/sexuality.

I've grown to tolerate many female quirks and inconsistencies over the years, but I get seriously bummed out when I start spending time with a girl who initially seems pretty cool but ends up being pretty lame. For instance, I have gone on a couple dates with a 27 year old teacher who seemed quality in a lot of ways while we've been talking. Turns out she also has some big time baggage - she told me about how she has been in a long-term friends with benefits situation for 2 years (really?) and how she's attracted to men who are "emotionally unavailable". Fuckin' A, man - I couldn't pay my half of the bill and walk out of there fast enough...

Is it so much to ask for a hot (or cute), sweet, somewhat "old-fashioned" girl who wants a family (who also hasn't slept with dozens of guys)? I am not looking for some pushover submissive 3rd world mail order bride or anything, but I'm just not finding what I want.

Any tips of places/activities or any other sort of advice any of you guys could offer?

Thanks in advance.
Avoid female teachers at all costs. They are the biggest slvts around. Havent you heard enough publicised stories of female teachers, some of them pretty damn hot, having sex with underage boys?
 

gaspipe

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Jitterbug said:
It's called a quarter life crisis. We all get it. You'll get over it soon enough, and go back to the dark side.

If you're really serious about finding a quality one, you can try it like my former coworker did. He asked one woman out a week, or a fortnight depending on holidays etc., and intended to do it for 3 years at least. He stopped just before the 2 years mark, and found his future wife who's everything he looked for, after dating about 60 chicks, and countless others that he tried to approach (online or IRL). They now have 3 fat children and live happily ever after. He's a decent guy, somewhat solid inner game, but not a very charming or suave guy. But he married very well. His wife is rich (much richer than him), smart, hot and feminine.

It's like a second full time job. You know if you want to find the ideal job for yourself, you have to devote equally as much time into it? Same with a woman. If you're not making that kind of effort, you're not that serious about it.

I fooled myself for a while around your age (lol just the last couple of years, I sound old now) about me finding a quality woman to be in a LTR with, but I finally realise that I can't be fvcked and don't want to be in a LTR after all. Being a bachelor and banging random broads that come my way is so much more liberating right now.
Very good words of wisdom here. Dont expect a quality woman to just fall out of the sky. Im pretty much in the same boat you are my friend. Happily divorced but eager to find my soulmate. After many dates and several serious relationships havent quite gotten there but I know I have to keep persevering until I find the right one or me.
 

Bossman08

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gaspipe said:
Avoid female teachers at all costs. They are the biggest slvts around. Havent you heard enough publicised stories of female teachers, some of them pretty damn hot, having sex with underage boys?
If by avoid you mean pump and dump, then amen. My friend does IT for the school system and before he settled down he was tearing his way through every hot teacher in the district.
 

Serialized3

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Buddha_Mind said:
Ah Serialized you are not alone -- lots of us here have wanted that "one sweet girl" -- I don't know what to tell you man but life is complex and a lot of our preconceived ideas about things are garbage...I guess it's a natural flow being raised in America, the King of Preconceived Ideas...we're raised with all sorts of understandings and assumptions about the world...which often are incorrect when reality and experience are met -- ie, when rubber meets the road...

It definitely seems like every woman I know has had alternative motives...it's like a war out there man...everyone man/woman for his/herself -- screw, fvck, love, leave, whatever, it's all meaningless in the end -- these are the perspectives I feel from my generation...we are high class, that is certain, and leading this country in a fine direction socially and economically...I'm sure the Americans 50 years in the future will love the place we've built for them! </heavy sarcasm>

Look -- the only way you are going to find a quality lady is by continuing to be a quality man. I'm proud of you leaving that older teacher chick -- I was so hooked on my last LTR I allowed her baggage, crazy sexual past, father issues, etc, to be tolerated -- the fact you recognize those as RED FLAGS is a major accomplishment and surely helping you to avoid at least some of the pitfalls many men make (I got lucky not to get married or have babies with this woman...in some ways I have a 2nd chance...I've been given a very special gift by NOT being with her)...

Everyone wants companionship. Everyone wants to feel loved. These are basic psychological needs. I understand you may feel a quality woman is lacking in your life. Maybe you are ready for a relationship of a different stature and form than what you've known -- but also keep in mind from my direct personal experience -- that having a woman does not = happiness. Jophil said this once, "expect only about 30% of your happiness to come from a woman" and I had remembered thinking what a tragedy of a statement that was...until I had my own first-hand-real-life-experience to say, "Yup. He was right".

In fact, a woman can cause great deals of problems in your life -- she can turn your whole life into disarray -- and try and take everything you've ever known or believed or worked for -- and squeeze and suck it right out of you until there's nothing left. Don't confuse yourself that the addition of a certain woman will escalate your reality to a higher level of happiness -- because this is not necessarily true. Sure, sex and fvcking and romance -- these are great things and part of being human -- but ultimately they should be on the side to life's other pursuits -- and just as quickly as they can raise you up with happiness and love-chemicals, they can drop you too like a stone and you're right back where you started...maybe even IN a hole for what you lost or sacrificed along the way.

Keep pushing your path. Keep allowing women into your life. Use your experiences and what you've learned to make a decision about if you'd rather pursue forwards or not. You've already identified major red flags (albeit I'm not saying a woman with one of these traits is inherently a sinking ship) -- father issues, c0ck-carousel-riding, male&sex issues, etc. From my own experience: DO NOT, and I repeat, DO NOT, majorly alter your life to accommodate the dream woman when you see her. It will backfire. Keep moving yourself forwards. You are 26 -- there will be many women who will want to join the ride in your life to come.

I knew of a guy who didn't get married until he was 42 -- and you know what all of those years got him? A 22 year-old hottie wife and a newborn -- and likely a life of his own where he experienced many different women before he made the decisions to commit. He may have been AFC or gone through several heart-breaks in between. But what I am saying is there is always hope -- keep working, take care of yourself, keep your bodymind strong and work on your financial needs and responsibilities -- you will only continue to gain value, character, and you'll be one of those grey-haired mature men young women swoon over...

This is my goal at least.

I know you're feeling sad/down/lonely/frustrated -- these are normal emotions -- I've had them many times -- don't give up and keep an open mind. There's a lot more in your life to come.
Thanks for writing so much - I can tell you put a lot of thought into your post.

I read your one about the stripper ex and man, I can relate. I was tagging a stripper (with a boyfriend, no less) a couple years ago and that bitch was nuts.

Yeah, I know I have to just keep on keepin'-on. I stay pretty busy with work and my crew of fellas, but when it comes to women, it always just seems like an uphill battle. I know that I truly love women and love being around them, but I just hate dealing with their issues, I just don't know why they can't just be cool about stuff. I'm tired of meeting girls that are just sticks in the mud, and I no longer feel obligated to help pull them out.

When it really comes down to it, all we all kind of want is another monkey on this ball of gas and rock who appreciates and understands us for who we are.
 

sstype

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Serialized3 said:
When it really comes down to it, all we all kind of want is another monkey on this ball of gas and rock who appreciates and understands us for who we are.
The good thing is it only takes one woman out of the 3 billion+ on this entire planet to provide you that sort of companionship. Everyone else is just background noise until you meet that person. It's not a matter of if, but when.
 

Jitterbug

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I was tearing through teachers, nurses and psychology students a few years back till jophil28, may he rest in peace, told me to stop fvcking around with the caring profession, coz they're all crazy.

Serialized3 said:
I have my quarterlife crisis last year. Like I said in the above posts I'm really just tired of meeting women with "issues" that take up my precious resources - I just want one who can contribute meaningfully to my life. I guess the search for a woman is like a job, damn dating 2 women at once really does seem like a full time job to me.
Same here, so get in line. :D

You'll have to start writing down what it is that a woman can contribute to your life that you'd consider meaningful, then enter the long and tiring search for her. Atm it sounds like it's all in your head and you're just wandering around dating whatever chick you randomly bump into.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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About 5 years ago Tom Leykis did a topic on his radio show about this: He had everyday women call in and tell their stories of how they used to be sexually (i.e. slutty) and how they are now. He came up with this after driving past a grade school on his way to the studio and seeing all of the women there waiting for their kids to come out and wondered about what their lives used to be like in their childless 20s. This was a wildly popular topic and the confessions just poured in like all of these women had been waiting for years to come clean anonymously about the sexual past that their husbands would never dream they were capable of. Each of these women sounded proud of themselves, almost nostalgic, as if they were some kind of past accomplishments.

This is why I laugh at the concept of the Quality woman. Don't misinterpret that as a "women = shít" binary opinion. I mean it in the sense that most guy's concept of a quality woman is an unrealistic idealization. There's not a guy in the world who committed to monogamy with a woman who didn't think she was 'quality' when he was with her. Even if she was a clinical neurotic before he hooked up with her, she's still got "other redeeming qualities" that make her worth the effort. It's only afterwards when the world he built up around her idealization comes crashing down in flames that she "really wasn't a Quality Woman."
 

Pair A Dice

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Rollo Tomassi said:
This is why I laugh at the concept of the Quality woman. Don't misinterpret that as a "women = shít" binary opinion. I mean it in the sense that most guy's concept of a quality woman is an unrealistic idealization. There's not a guy in the world who committed to monogamy with a woman who didn't think she was 'quality' when he was with her. Even if she was a clinical neurotic before he hooked up with her, she's still got "other redeeming qualities" that make her worth the effort. It's only afterwards when the world he built up around her idealization comes crashing down in flames that she "really wasn't a Quality Woman."
This x10. It's amazing how one bad break-up or one slip up on her part ruins whatever else a man thought about her? I'm sure I've passed on some quality women, God knows I have, but it has been for the better. At least that's what I hope.
 

Solomon

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Want a "Quality girl" then go to places where there are women of faith

I use to think Pook was crazy for saying that on his blog, but he was right all along a lot of women don't practice spirituality. The once that sincerely do are the ones that are wifable, they are still feminine and compassionate. And want a man of spirituality/God as well.

Pook was a genius for that one IMO
 

women haze

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Solomon said:
Want a "Quality girl" then go to places where there are women of faith

I use to think Pook was crazy for saying that on his blog, but he was right all along a lot of women don't practice spirituality. The once that sincerely do are the ones that are wifable, they are still feminine and compassionate. And want a man of spirituality/God as well.

Pook was a genius for that one IMO

Exactly your quality women are at the Church, homeless Shelter etc
but you have to be Spiritually ready to recieve the blessing. If not it won't work out...

My fam tell me the same thing...you want a quality girl goto Church:rock:
 

Rollo Tomassi

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That's pretty funny considering the wife of a pastor at a church I was attending just recently filed for divorce after 18 years of marriage and 4 children. You'll have to take me at my word of course, but I'm sure you could find similar instances in the news online.

She's actually a a very good looking woman, and quite honestly her filing for divorce had more to do with his constantly pedestalizing her and being a supplicating beta for years, as well as her getting a job and becoming the breadwinner while he was a low wage pastor. Don't believe for a second that religion is any kind of insulation against feminine hypergamy or a buffer against its impulses.

4 years ago I could've used his wife to make the case for the sincere and compassionate religious Quality woman you are now. Today she's willing to divorce her pastor husband and divide a family of 4 kids. Marriage, religion, morality, none of that removes you from the sexual market. Feel free to define her actions as those of a "non-quality" woman or as less than genuine in her convictions, but don't fool yourself into thinking the church is some warehouse of undiscovered purile women just waiting to be a good wife because God told them so.
 

PokerStar

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thread like these remind me that "Quality Women" do not exist.

Maybe i like to trick myself into thinking they do.

Light at the end of the tunnel? naw, the tunnel just keeps on going.
 

Colossus

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samspade said:
I don't want to put words in his mouth, but I'm pretty sure it was Jophil (RIP) who said that eventually, and whether you inquire or not, a woman will communicate to you her past and her values (though not always overtly). It's up to you to decide whether she makes the cut based on your preferences and values. Men who betray said values enter a world of pain, humiliation, and cuckoldry.
It was Jophil.

Quality is in the eye of the beholder. I would sooner define a "quality woman" as one who has firm self-respect than one who meets some list of intangible subjective assets that will change depending on her circumstances.
 

Solomon

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Rollo Tomassi said:
That's pretty funny considering the wife of a pastor at a church I was attending just recently filed for divorce after 18 years of marriage and 4 children. You'll have to take me at my word of course, but I'm sure you could find similar instances in the news online.

She's actually a a very good looking woman, and quite honestly her filing for divorce had more to do with his constantly pedestalizing her and being a supplicating beta for years, as well as her getting a job and becoming the breadwinner while he was a low wage pastor. Don't believe for a second that religion is any kind of insulation against feminine hypergamy or a buffer against its impulses.

4 years ago I could've used his wife to make the case for the sincere and compassionate religious Quality woman you are now. Today she's willing to divorce her pastor husband and divide a family of 4 kids. Marriage, religion, morality, none of that removes you from the sexual market. Feel free to define her actions as those of a "non-quality" woman or as less than genuine in her convictions, but don't fool yourself into thinking the church is some warehouse of undiscovered purile women just waiting to be a good wife because God told them so.
There's a difference between a "spiritual" and "religious" woman. Just because you go to church doesn't mean your spiritual

http://dapook.blogspot.com/2007/07/golden-rule-to-weed-out-women.html
 

vatoloco

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Solomon said:
There's a difference between a "spiritual" and "religious" woman. Just because you go to church doesn't mean your spiritual
QFT.

As a side note, IN MY EXPERIENCE, the sluttiest and bitchiest girls I've encountered in my Life are the ones who self-proclaim themselves to be "Good Christian Girls" who always go to church. ;)
 

Solomon

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samspade said:
"Spiritual" is just new age b.s. for "I believe in God and still want to get into heaven but don't bother with church." It's still religious. Neither has much bearing on a person's values or morals. I know atheists and agnostics with better moral compasses than most believers. The biggest factors are usually parenting and social norms, two deteriorating pillars in the US today.
MMH WRONG!

Spiritual: of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit :

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/spiritual

Religious: : relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity <a religious person>

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/religious


http://www.spiritandsky.com/spirituality/
^^spiritual people necessarily don't believe in a deity i.e. agnostics for example
 

Stagger Lee

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The thing is under the original christian teachings a woman doesn't really have the right to divorce her husband in the first place, and is suppose to be submissive and defer authority to her husband, is not suppose to cheat obviously, and is not suppose to be materialistic etc. So obviously few women if any, or men and churches for that matter, identifying themself as christian really are. They've corrupted and twisted what it original is into a version that suits them. Plus the government came in and redefined marriage. Separation of church and state should be a two-way street, but obvious not in practice. Marriage was originally defined by the church and did not allow women to divorce, take custody of the children and on top of that receive money from the ex-husband. So I think it is true to say that a modern day christian woman is nothing like a 1950's version let alone like it was before that.

Solomon said:
There's a difference between a "spiritual" and "religious" woman. Just because you go to church doesn't mean your spiritual
I think there is something to that. Religious=whatever is popular in the mainstream and whatever is most attractive and expediant. Spirituality is being guided by principles even if they don't seem to suit one's self-serving impulses.
 

iqqi

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I think it is funny that

A. Rollo is completely obsessed with the idea that all women were sluts in their 20's.

and

B. The viewpoint on here that if a woman has had multiple sex partners, then she is a slut.

I also am glad to see Colossus is a moderator now, he is pretty levelheaded.

OK, now to point A. Yes, there are some super slutty chicks in the world, and many experimental college chicks. But there are also a lot of girls in college with morals that include not sleeping around. These girls aren't putting themselves out there like the girls gone wild crowd, so maybe you aren't seeing them? Out of sight out of mind? The mind does shape memories differently in different people, your college days were long ago... are you waxing nostalgic? Or obsessed with what you did not have? Either way, the idea that most/all college age chicks are sluts is warped.

and point B. If you want to meet a girl who isn't a stick in the mud, who is interesting, does interesting things, then there is a chance she is adventurous, has a very inquisitive mind and is not rigid about sex, which would mean she has had a few flings and relationships in her life. Not to be confused with the girls gone wild crowd, who spend 3 days out of 7 totally drunk and ready to do whatever under the veil of inebriation. <--- those are usually easy to pick out and avoid.

serialized, you will meet the best people in your life when you are out in the world doing things you love, surrounded by strangers who love the same things you do.
 

Jitterbug

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I tried the church for a while. I found the same types of women you see outside, with the bonus of endless sermonising, and you getting compared to Jesus - their first and grandest love - all the bloody time. They're especially good at guilt tripping.

You might find a good woman there, but it's far from guaranteed.

There are plenty of Christian dating blogs on the Net. Have a look for yourself. Other than the Christian theme, you'll find the same BS there.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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iqqi said:
A. Rollo is completely obsessed with the idea that all women were sluts in their 20's.
As a woman I'm sure you're lothe to admit that women know their only real agency with men is their sexuality. They're keenly aware that men's primary interest in them is ƒucking - everything else is ancillary to sex. The value a woman has beyond the sexual comes after she's been sexual.

I'd love to perpetuate the pretty lie that women hold off on sex in order increase their sexual market value to men, but I've known far too many "good girls" who'll knowingly string along patient, dependable (not necessarily beta) men because "she wanted them to like her for more than that" only to ƒuck a high SMV Alpha the first night she met him. Opportunism is a universal human drive, but it manifests itself differently in each gender as fits their imperatives.

Self-Shots NSFW.

Have a look at the sheer volume and frequency with which average women will voluntarily become sexual here. This is just one collection, there are countless millions more. Are they all sluts? How many of these women have uttered the words " I want to wait so I know you want me for more than sex?" How many of these women would make great wives in 5-10 years? How many of these women are already (or have been) wife material? How many of these women are thought of as the sweet natured "good girl"? How many guys have considered these girls "Quality Women"?

We can look at them with their clothes off and declare them sluts, but would you know the difference if you saw her in church?
 
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