When you suspect she's cheating on you...

[Barrister]

@Pan87

Well we share some bad experiences in LTRs. And you are right - it is part of the unplugging process.

But where I will disagree is when say that men in LTRs are bluepill and have oneitis by definition. These are just blanket statements. Red Pill means you have become aware of a woman's true nature and have learned how to deal with her behavior in the most appropriate fashion. It doesn't mean that you can't be exclusive with a woman. It doesn't mean that you can't share a more meaningful relationship with a (single) woman. It doesn't have a requirement to be "spinning plates." It doesn't mean you have a scarcity mindset to pursue a more attractive woman - singular. This is tunnel-vision and a very black and white way of looking at relationships.

It is also arbitrary to say a man is "weak" if he wants the above with one woman, but he is "alpha" if he wants a more superficial relationship with multiple women. In the end, it simply comes down to preference.

 

[Velasco]

ONS -> FB -> slowly turn this into a relationshipy bf/gf dynamic were u both have feelings for each other. But keeps that "were just fvcking. Its not serious" aspect of it. But treat her as if she was your girlfriend in that if she asks if your seeing other girls on the side, you Deny Deny Deny....while continuing to fvck other girls on the side.

This is something I discovered through trial and error. Was no "red pill guide" for this sh1t

 

[Barrister]

Unfortunately man, you are classic PurplePill. You are using RedPill knowledge to pursue BluePill goals with women. And you're using exceptions to the rule logic to get there.

This is a classic, and well-understood mindset that you're in. It never ends well. You have to let go of your tiny BluePill raft of hope that you cling to.

And I could say you are coming from the classic extreme Red Pill mindset that wants to see everything in black and white. If you need that to process your relationships with females, then that is fine. Calling me "purple pill" doesn't change anything that I said. Some of the best DJs on here have pursued exclusive relationships after becoming red pilled. That is neither here nor there, but this idea that you suddenly are "weak" because you are in an LTR is just plain silly.

You have a tendency to compartmentalize/label things so you can write them off and not respond to the merits. You're better than that. For the record I think you give good advice on here -- but on this we will have to agree to disagree.

 

[metalwater]

Guys sh1t test each other all the time. It's called busting your balls.

the response is to either ignore or confront. never to cry and beg.

 

[metalwater]

Okay, but what do you do when the chick starts to get tired of you not committing? You know, she's dropped hints, she's asked for it several times, and maybe she even gives you an ultimatum....

"Family Man, I really care about you, but I can't wait around forever. I want a commitment. If you can't give it to me, I'm leaving."

What to do?

more to that question.

- does she want kids with you.
- does she want status of married for image.
- does she want to be with you no matter what.
- does she work outside the house.
- how long is she exclusive.
- will you be happy if she is the only one AND she stays loyal, if you care.
- are you exclusive to her or spinning other plates.

probably other questions also.

The ultimatum is an issue, and what does that mean. Is it from control or fear or something else?

If you know the answers to such questions, your response will become clear to you.

 

[mrskinnypantz]

Sh1t testing basically happens with medium and low interest women in early stage dating and that’s about it.

Wrong
It happens whenever you start to lose your edge
Or start acting weak

 

[ubercat]

Women are hormonal creatures. pms week anything you did or didn't do will be used against you. Best to be supportive if cohabiting or busy if not. I don't think all bad behaviour can be put down to shiat testing

Re OP I'm afraid from very long experience if it feels shaky it means it's over. Hide cash work on yourself and pull the pin.

 

[Barrister]

Wrong
It happens whenever you start to lose your edge
Or start acting weak

This may be more about semantics. But what you’re describing to me isn’t “sh1t testing.”

 

[twelveightyone]

How would you handle it?

This is how I did it. Buy small digital audio recorder. They make them the size of a USB stick. next you need to put it someplace and record something "interesting" happening while you aren't around. I taped mine under the passenger seat of the family car.

Next you listen to the footage. This is the hard part. brace yourself!

 

[Meatman]

How would you handle it?

Are you married? If no dump her. Unless you're a paranoid person there is a reason why you suspect she's cheating. It's simply not worth the mental effort trying to figure out if she is and if you find out she's "not" cheating on you that doubt will always exist in you.