"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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When you can't NEXT

goodfoot

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I have this girl I've known for about a year. We're good friends, but I think I want to take it further. I checked these forums out about three years ago under a different name. I'm naturally outgoing and funny(I think). Mainly I just decided when it comes to girls to do what I want to do, and if she doesn't like it, I NEXT her. This leads to a lot less girls on my plate, but the relationships I do have are great. I've only had two bad breakups and both of those were from girls who approached me and I figured "Why not?"

Anyway, I can't NEXT her because I like her a lot and we hang out pretty frequently and if it goes down bad, that would get messed up. I guess what I'm asking is the best way to go after her without jeapordizing the friendship.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

backbreaker

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Anyway, I can't NEXT her because I like her a lot and we hang out pretty frequently and if it goes down bad, that would get messed up. I guess what I'm asking is the best way to go after her without jeapordizing the friendship.
you do know that was just a bunch of jibberish for she's my oneitis right?
 

Dannyrt34

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There is no best way. Anyway you go about it will risk the friendship.

Either continue the friendship and go look for other girls, or risk it for her. Don't expect much better responses because anyway you look at it, there is no 'Right way".
 

goodfoot

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Ok, let's say its oneitis. Hypothetically. (No, really, I can't tell. It's been so long.) In the best interest of my game, should I:

1. Say F*** it, and go for it?

2. Suck it up and go after other chicks?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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backbreaker

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couldn't have said it better myself. and whenever you say

No, really, I can't tell. It's been so long.
trust me.. it's oneitis
 

goodfoot

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I think you're right. I'm way too into her for my own good. We're supposed to go out tomorrow and I'll just do the regular stuff (joking around, up the kino, etc.) I'll tell you all what happens.
 

backbreaker

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how about not going out with her and actually trying to find ass that wants to fvck you instead of drain your pocket for free dates?

every day you spend with her, is a day you aren't getting ass
 

goodfoot

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I don't want to give you the impression we go out all the time on dates that aren't really dates and I pay for em. This is the first time we've gone out just the two of us. Usually it's me, her, and her roommate. And seeing how it's a Sunday, I'm not gonna be in the mood for clubbing. But tonight is a different story entirely.
 

backbreaker

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still.. it's not a date becuase you aren't courting her. it's you taking her out and paying for her company.

in this situation, you are paying for her time, meaning you are associating her as the prize. subconsciously, you think of her that way. that's the problem not taking her out per say.

if you had your **** together in life, had the job you wanted, had a rockin body, had a good job.. would this chick even be an option?
I didn't think so
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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goodfoot

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It's not a date, and I'm not expecting to pay for her. She has no reason to expect me to pay. In name only it won't be a date, but I still expect to end the night with something. As for the last part, I'll step to any chick. I'm only 20, I'm skinny, but I got potential, I think. She isn't the best looking I've pulled, but she ain't bad.
 

RAFCbearfilm

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AFC's think about doing things and DJ's DO them.
Kiss the girl or move on, either way - risk nothing and gain nothing.
 

goodfoot

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She said she was sick and couldn't make it. I don't doubt she was a little under the weather, but she obviously ain't interested and I'm not going to chase her. I realize now I was making a lot of little mistakes and messed it up. You were right, backbreaker. She's really not all that, and I didn't call her on her bull way too many times. The only thing to do know is get on some of these other girls I been neglecting. Peace.
 
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