"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
when to send a confirmation msg
- Thread starter pete101
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
stop worrying about ****ing it up think about how shes going to **** it up for herself.
send it an hour before.
what is the point in saying 'text me' when you then say 'il call you'....
you get me?
say
'hey got your facebook message. im in my meeting now, text me when we're meeting.'
leave her guessing.
Stop "anticipating she's going to flake"
from the message from her she seems to be looking forward to it. so RELAX.
now if she said:
hey u how are you? well my friends coming today, and guess they will leave late afternoon. so "maybe" we could meet around 5 or 5.30. i "might" text you tomorrow ok?'
see the difference?
shes not going to think your trying to convince her unless you actually are.
call her as if your doing her a favour. If she asks for an extension of time dont let her know that your going to wait around. Tell her you have some stuff to do in the mall and if she wants to meet up then.then thats cool with you
Be a man here show her that you dont NEED her.
My main point is to try and have the situation where she is asking you the times not the other way around. your doing fine
BUT if she flakes dont get angry just say cool would've been fun.
If she askes to meet up on a diff day tell her cool but your busy at the moment and you might text/call her sometime soon.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
The best way to handle that was to contact her to say "Look, since you're not sure about what time you'll be free, let's do this another time." Then I'd listen closely to her answer.
Why are you bothering with flakes who you know have low interest anyway? She feeds you mixed messages because she can't say NO.
MacAvoy
Banned
Stop worrying about it, if its meant to be, then it will.
DonGorgon
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2007
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
So, play the way you want it, and if she doesn't play along, then move to the next one. Don't be too available, don't be needy, don't be desperate, and don't be too eager. Play in a way that shows that you love your life, you love your hobbies, you love your friends, and you're a busy person. So, if she can't make time, so what! You've got things to do anyway and convey that.
Until you start understanding what people are telling you, you won't know what to do. You won't know how to do it. You won't know when to do it. You have to work on yourself. You're making this girl "it". All consuming! Treat her as though she's just something on the side. Something that just adds to your collection of things that keep you busy.pete101 said:i was thinking of sending 'dont know im getting a new phone so looking for a good one right now. give me a time to meet and we'll meet.'
is this a good reponse? or should i say something more on the lines of her telling to state me a time and i'll let her know if i can do it..?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.