What do women mean when they say " i feel safe with you". What does "safe" mean to them. This safe feeling seems to be the most important thing in sustaining a long term relationship. Many women mention this word as of upmost importance.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
When they say " i feel safe"
- Thread starter Pandora
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
parabellum
Don Juan
She’s pair bonded
BillyPilgrim
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2021
- Messages
- 6,127
- Reaction score
- 4,952
In the lack of immediate physical danger, "safe" means comfortable, which is ok if you have sexual attraction established. If not, no bueno.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,779
- Reaction score
- 9,991
I'll see some girl jogging down a street, or YouTube videos of girls camping or hiking alone, and I have to admit, IMO they're pretty brave. If I were so physically ill equipped to defend myself, I'd be concerned about my safety a lot more often than they seem to be.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Michael Chief
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 18, 2004
- Messages
- 424
- Reaction score
- 222
It's very good. It's the exact opposite of her calling you "creepy."
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,548
- Reaction score
- 11,523
It means she feels you are looking out for her well being. She feels connected and can trust you with her emotions, thoughts, and feelings. She feels she can be honest with you and you are being honest with her. It's a big compliment, you are doing things right.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
I agree with most of the above, especially @BillyPilgrim really nailed. If there´s a big age difference, it can also be a Daddy Issues thing (not saying its a bad thing, If an older man can pull younger Im all for it).
Bokanovsky
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2012
- Messages
- 5,516
- Reaction score
- 5,695
It means that she’s ready for the D. No need to overcomplicate things.
Lol Im already giving or gave the D. I just wanted to know what they meant exactly. They dont get that safe feeling from everyman. Its also not just horniness. Like the other posters have said its feeling like you can protect her.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yeah great way of explaining it. I think this is it. Men need to do these things. Its not just about being a fake tough guy. Its also emotional connection. Great response man. Thanks
Mertz09
Senior Don Juan
" I just wanted to know what they meant exactly" Hard to tell.??? If I knew that answer I could sell it and be as rich as ___________ fill in the blank.
Not knowing her or you..... I would HOPE that it's a good thing.
Not knowing her or you..... I would HOPE that it's a good thing.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,779
- Reaction score
- 9,991
How is that showing her that you're an a-hole? I ask because for a long time on this forum people were saying you had to act like a jerk to attract women.
Exactly. They did say that. They were wrong. That was primitive early 2000's seduction. I hope the meta is changing. The more you learn about women the more you realize that emotional connection/ good looks is key.
The act like an a-hole advice is lacking nuance and sophistication. It is the Model T of seduction models. I hope that most of us have advanced past that point.
The act like an A-hole people had it backwards. Girls don't like guys BECAUSE they are a-holes. They like certain guys IN SPITE of being an a-hole. Attractive guys can get away with being jerks.
That being said indifference ( being a challenge) is attractive to women. Indifference is not synonomous with being an A-hole though.
The Duke
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2008
- Messages
- 6,548
- Reaction score
- 11,523
For me personally I've always thought acting like a jerk/dihk in small doses at the appropriate times works wells to get a woman's attention. Helps her step back in line. Shows you arent a pushover and won't bend at her every whim.
You can still be all I mentioned earlier.
You can love your child and be kind and nurturing yet be stern and spank them and put them in timeout when needed.
This is no different.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
I have never had a woman say this to me.
Really? Okay. Thats interesting.
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
‘I feel safe around you.’. Sounds like something a girl in a bad ‘80s RomCom would say.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
- Messages
- 8,404
- Reaction score
- 5,164
This. The Jerk vs Nice Guy debate has always been a red herring. It’s a clever way to dance around the far more important looks issue.
Back on topic, “safe” means she can relax and let her guard down because she feels like “You got this.” Even as a guy, you might have that one friend or family member who seems like he can handle anything; it’s sort of like that.
Last edited:
Lol naw girls say this a lot. They say it when they are telling you why they appreciate you. A man that makes her feel safe is an oasis in a dessert of effeminate men.
It is rare that a man can defend her physically, pays the bill when the food comes, is decisive, makes her feel like a woman etc. They really appreciate that especially after dating the average guy. So a few have told me this about me.
Im not even anything special. I am just traditional. I am sure many other men on this forum have had women say similar things to them.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.