What do women mean when they say " i feel safe with you". What does "safe" mean to them. This safe feeling seems to be the most important thing in sustaining a long term relationship. Many women mention this word as of upmost importance.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
When they say " i feel safe"
- Thread starter Pandora
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
parabellum
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She’s pair bonded
BillyPilgrim
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In the lack of immediate physical danger, "safe" means comfortable, which is ok if you have sexual attraction established. If not, no bueno.
zekko
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I'll see some girl jogging down a street, or YouTube videos of girls camping or hiking alone, and I have to admit, IMO they're pretty brave. If I were so physically ill equipped to defend myself, I'd be concerned about my safety a lot more often than they seem to be.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Michael Chief
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It's very good. It's the exact opposite of her calling you "creepy."
The Duke
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It means she feels you are looking out for her well being. She feels connected and can trust you with her emotions, thoughts, and feelings. She feels she can be honest with you and you are being honest with her. It's a big compliment, you are doing things right.
Doctor Europeo
Moderator
I agree with most of the above, especially @BillyPilgrim really nailed. If there´s a big age difference, it can also be a Daddy Issues thing (not saying its a bad thing, If an older man can pull younger Im all for it).
Bokanovsky
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It means that she’s ready for the D. No need to overcomplicate things.
Lol Im already giving or gave the D. I just wanted to know what they meant exactly. They dont get that safe feeling from everyman. Its also not just horniness. Like the other posters have said its feeling like you can protect her.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Yeah great way of explaining it. I think this is it. Men need to do these things. Its not just about being a fake tough guy. Its also emotional connection. Great response man. Thanks
Mertz09
Senior Don Juan
" I just wanted to know what they meant exactly" Hard to tell.??? If I knew that answer I could sell it and be as rich as ___________ fill in the blank.
Not knowing her or you..... I would HOPE that it's a good thing.
Not knowing her or you..... I would HOPE that it's a good thing.
zekko
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How is that showing her that you're an a-hole? I ask because for a long time on this forum people were saying you had to act like a jerk to attract women.
Exactly. They did say that. They were wrong. That was primitive early 2000's seduction. I hope the meta is changing. The more you learn about women the more you realize that emotional connection/ good looks is key.
The act like an a-hole advice is lacking nuance and sophistication. It is the Model T of seduction models. I hope that most of us have advanced past that point.
The act like an A-hole people had it backwards. Girls don't like guys BECAUSE they are a-holes. They like certain guys IN SPITE of being an a-hole. Attractive guys can get away with being jerks.
That being said indifference ( being a challenge) is attractive to women. Indifference is not synonomous with being an A-hole though.
The Duke
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For me personally I've always thought acting like a jerk/dihk in small doses at the appropriate times works wells to get a woman's attention. Helps her step back in line. Shows you arent a pushover and won't bend at her every whim.
You can still be all I mentioned earlier.
You can love your child and be kind and nurturing yet be stern and spank them and put them in timeout when needed.
This is no different.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
I have never had a woman say this to me.
Really? Okay. Thats interesting.
Hamurabimbi
Master Don Juan
‘I feel safe around you.’. Sounds like something a girl in a bad ‘80s RomCom would say.
Mike32ct
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This. The Jerk vs Nice Guy debate has always been a red herring. It’s a clever way to dance around the far more important looks issue.
Back on topic, “safe” means she can relax and let her guard down because she feels like “You got this.” Even as a guy, you might have that one friend or family member who seems like he can handle anything; it’s sort of like that.
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Lol naw girls say this a lot. They say it when they are telling you why they appreciate you. A man that makes her feel safe is an oasis in a dessert of effeminate men.
It is rare that a man can defend her physically, pays the bill when the food comes, is decisive, makes her feel like a woman etc. They really appreciate that especially after dating the average guy. So a few have told me this about me.
Im not even anything special. I am just traditional. I am sure many other men on this forum have had women say similar things to them.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.