When the check arrives and you're on a first date

[skinnyguy]

What do you guys do?

Two schools of thought:

1) grab it. If you don't you're a cheap bastard

2) see what she does. If she doesn't offer, next her since you don't want to be a pushover

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why would you ever have a check on a first date?

Fail.

 

[BeenLaiden]

Why would you ever have a check on a first date?

Fail.

You pay for it IF you are the one who invited her out. If not? Then you don't pay.

Some people like doing different things and actually trying new places not living their lives in coffee shops or bars or trying to bring every girl they meet back to their place and then get mad at the same women for being "slvts" when that's what they were looking for in the first place.

I for one don't pedestalize puss altering what I want to do or where I want to go or take them. Whether I get some up front or not. Living in coffee shops, bars, and or trying to take them back to yours or their place for sex isn't the end all be all to my life. I'm way beyond that nonsense. Others either have no money and or they pretend to not pedestalize the puss while trying to "win" some ridiculous "game" and then get angry because then "all women are X" after they got what they were seeking in the first place.


There's life beyond just getting laid or doing some constant money saving routine and not actually expanding your own experiences with someone.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You pay for it IF you are the one who invited her out. If not? Then you don't pay.

Some people like doing different things and actually trying new places not living their lives in coffee shops or bars or trying to bring every girl they meet back to their place and then get mad at the same women for being "slvts" when that's what they were looking for in the first place.

I for one don't pedestalize puss altering what I want to do or where I want to go or take them. Whether I get some up front or not. Living in coffee shops, bars, and or trying to take them back to yours or their place for sex isn't the end all be all to my life. I'm way beyond that nonsense. Others either have no money and or they pretend to not pedestalize the puss while trying to "win" some ridiculous "game" and then get angry because then "all women are X" after they got what they were seeking in the first place.


There's life beyond just getting laid or doing some constant money saving routine and not actually expanding your own experiences with someone.

Why would you spend that type of money on someone if you don't even know if they are worth it or you will even get along. First dates are exploratory to see if you want to see them again, and if they are going to give it up easy.

Not spending that type of money unless I know I'm with someone I'd enjoy spending the time and money on.

 

[BeenLaiden]

Why would you spend that type of money on someone if you don't even know if they are worth it or you will even get along. First dates are exploratory to see if you want to see them again, and if they are going to give it up easy.

Not spending that type of money unless I know I'm with someone I'd enjoy spending the time and money on.

I wouldn't ask them out in the first place if I didn't think they were worth it. Doesn't mean when you ask someone out you HAVE to spend a sh1t ton of money. But at times I personally feel like going someplace and bringing some chick I already know along. If they don't offer to pay anything or get me a drink etc? Then I don't ask them again.

I prefer to do my own thing. Not what others tell me to do. I live on my own terms. If I want to try some place out and invite someone? I will. Or they can meet, not show, decline, etc. I do what I want and I'm not dependent on a specific outcome. That's for puss pedestalizers.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I wouldn't ask them out in the first place if I didn't think they were worth it. Doesn't mean when you ask someone out you HAVE to spend a sh1t ton of money. But at times I personally feel like going someplace and bringing some chick I already know along. If they don't offer to pay anything or get me a drink etc? Then I don't ask them again.

I prefer to do my own thing. Not what others tell me to do. I live on my own terms. If I want to try some place out and invite someone? I will. Or they can meet, not show, decline, etc. I do what I want and I'm not dependent on a specific outcome. That's for puss pedestalizers.

The question was specifically for a first date. If you already know them, typically it's not a first date.

 

[BeenLaiden]

The question was specifically for a first date. If you already know them, typically it's not a first date.

Meh. Depends. I still go where I want. It's not up to the chick or anyone else how I choose to spend my money. If I feel like going someplace nice I haven't been to I'm taking her if I want.

Doesn't mean I do it for everyone. Just where I feel like going. Means nothing to me or trying to "impress" her. It's where I felt like going at the time and who I felt like bringing or not. I don't worry about that nonsense. I do and go where and with whom I want to.

 

[skinnyguy]

Here's the thing - the only way you will ever get her out is if YOU do the asking.

If you can get her back to your place without spending money than all the power to ya

 

[Alexandar]

Meh. Depends. I still go where I want. It's not up to the chick or anyone else how I choose to spend my money. If I feel like going someplace nice I haven't been to I'm taking her if I want.

Doesn't mean I do it for everyone. Just where I feel like going. Means nothing to me or trying to "impress" her. It's where I felt like going at the time and who I felt like bringing or not. I don't worry about that nonsense. I do and go where and with whom I want to.

you dont get it at all.

taking a girl on a first date to a place where youre spending more than a minimal. amount of cash will make her feel uncomfortable. it doesnt matter if u dont feel like you're trying to impress her, it comes across like that.

the good. girls will. feel like they owe you something in return, hence the becoming uncomfortable. they will feel like youre trying to buy sex.

the bad girls will see u as a beta loser and will use you as much as possible.

its common sense.

 

[playa99]

I'm with Espi on this one. When I was younger I used to be down the #2 route and probably posted on this board to that effect.

Your a man, you lead, they follow, both when it comes to the date and paying for it.

 

[SamTheHobit]

The Tightwad. Cheapness signals more than a problem with money. It is a sign of something constricted in a person's character—something that keeps them from letting go or taking a risk. It is the most anti-seductive trait of all, and you cannot allow yourself to give in to it. Most tightwads do not realize they have a problem; they actually imagine that when they give someone some paltry crumb, they are being generous. Take a hard look at yourself—you are probably cheaper than you think. Try giving more freely of both your money and yourself and you will see the seductive potential in selective generosity. Of course you must keep your generosity under control. Giving too much can be a sign of desperation, as if you were trying to buy someone.

--

Being cheap is an anti - seductive behavior.

 

[guru1000]

Men earn. Women submit.

Just understand the distinction between paying and being taken advantage of.

 

[Webos]

you dont get it at all.

taking a girl on a first date to a place where youre spending more than a minimal. amount of cash will make her feel uncomfortable. it doesnt matter if u dont feel like you're trying to impress her, it comes across like that.

the good. girls will. feel like they owe you something in return, hence the becoming uncomfortable. they will feel like youre trying to buy sex.

the bad girls will see u as a beta loser and will use you as much as possible.

its common sense.

So in other words you spend as little as possible as a reaction to what a woman might think about you because you're worried about a woman thinking you are trying to buy sex or using you.

Men who can afford to do what they want while at the same time using common sense and not blowing all their money to impress someone aren't worried about what some broad might think.

They are with them to have a good time and enjoy the experience they can afford. Doesn't mean they are always doing that. Doesn't mean they are doing that because they find her "special". It's doing something different they might not have done or a place they haven't went to and are just having a good time.

But spending specifically to have someone, anyone, man or woman "like" you is idiotic.

Are you always counting your pennies because you're paranoid everyone might possibly use you and what they might think? If so then you have no control of your life and rely on external "what ifs" to dictate your life.

Some of us do what we want. When we want without doing it in an attempt to impress others. It's simply because we feel like it.

 

[MountainSlide]

Here's how I do it. If I want to have sex with her I pay and if I regret asking her out on a date then I don't. -- Simple.

If you don't pay it's almost like saying that you aren't very interested, so I save not paying for when I am not very interested.

*****es want their cake and eat it too.

 

[Webos]

Split, she is not your GF yet. At least theses are my rules. When i have a GF its one time you one time me. I never ever pay for a women all the time.

Did you go half with the hookers you paid for in Cuba?

 

[yun-j]

the bad girls will see u as a beta loser and will use you as much as possible.

This type are the smart ones.

 

[yun-j]

They are with them to have a good time and enjoy the experience they can afford. Doesn't mean they are always doing that. Doesn't mean they are doing that because they find her "special". It's doing something different they might not have done or a place they haven't went to and are just having a good time.

Why don't you do that with buddies or people you know well rather then some strange broad you met in a bar and don't know at all?

 

[Webos]

Why don't you do that with buddies or people you know well rather then some strange broad you met in a bar and don't know at all?

I take out whom I choose and where I want to go. Doesn't mean I'm spending all my money the first time I meet them let alone wasting money on broads met at a bar. If I want to go out with friends. I go. If I feel like going someplace alone? I go. If I feel like taking some chick? I do. That's freedom. Doing what I want.

If a broad tries to plan where SHE wants to go with my money? She's staying home or can find someone else. It's called getting to know people.

If I take someone out I pay. If they don't at least offer to pay a small part even if it's a gesture? They lose big points and most likely won't get asked again. If I just met them and I feel like going someplace I'm not worried about what she thinks about what I did or didn't spend. It's my decision. Like a man who does what he wants.

I'm not paying to have someone "like" me as I'm indifferent to that. Whereas others specifically spend money to try and get sex or have someone "like" them. That's for chumps.

 

[Suspens]

WTF with these trolls flooding the board with new accounts on a hourly basis.

 

[foreverAFC]

i understand that us men need to be aware of women who are looking to use us or string us along, but i dont think there is anything wrong with paying for a first date. im not saying you gotta take her to the most expensive restaurant in the world, but paying for you and a date to eat at applebee's really isnt that big of a deal. i definitely wouldnt aks her to pay half either, you wanted to take the girl out so be a man and pay for the date. if it doesnt work out fine, you dont have to see her again and ever spend another cent on her, no biggie.