When she refuses to come home on a first date

[manfromitaly]

Have you ever lost opportunities because you invited a girl over at the end of the first date? And she refused?

I do more than once, especially when I'm not interested in having a second date.

Sometimes I'm too clingy, once I get to kissing I can't help myself and I push to have sex, that's something I need to improve on

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Nope...... they expect you to escalate, your the man. They might deny you on first date but they wont hold it against you.
You have to show them your interest and show them you are not afraid to take a risk.

If they hold it against you, she is prude and the juice aint worth the squeeze anyway.

Some girls are only availlable at THIS MOMENT for you. Next day she might be on a date with another guy that doesnt care and escalates to fvck her.

Never missed out on a fvck because i "asked" but missed quite a number due to not "asking".
Obviously dont literaly ASK if you can fvck her, just escalate.

So.... escalate all the way!

 

[manfromitaly]

Nope...... they expect you to escalate, your the man. They might deny you on first date but they wont hold it against you.
You have to show them your interest and show them you are not afraid to take a risk.

If they hold it against you, she is prude and the juice aint worth the squeeze anyway.

Some girls are only availlable at THIS MOMENT for you. Next day she might be on a date with another guy that doesnt care and escalates to fvck her.

Never missed out on a fvck because i "asked" but missed quite a number due to not "asking".
Obviously dont literaly ASK if you can fvck her, just escalate.

So.... escalate all the way!

Yesterday I was on a date with a girl, we drank a beer on a bench on the waterfront in my city, after about an hour I kissed her, she was taken, she kissed me passionately.

We went back to my house (she accompanied me with her his car, I don't have a vehicle at the moment) We kissed again and I told her to come up to my house but she said no, after talking for a while I asked her again but nothing. I didn't insist anymore, it wasn't worth it.

I made my moves, could I have done better? you can always do better

She's probably looking for a more serious relationship and hasn't felt like it, I'm always of the opinion that here we are behind in the way of thinking, plus I live in a fairly small city

 

[BillyPilgrim]

France OP.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Interested girls will not reject you for asking them to come back to your place on the first date unless you were a total creep/@$$hole about it

 

[Murk]

Interested girls will not reject you for asking them to come back to your place on the first date unless you were a total creep/@$$hole about it

I disagree, some will make you wait 1-2 more dates even if they like you. As long as you are kissing/escalating in dates 1-2 then you're good.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I disagree, some will make you wait 1-2 more dates even if they like you. As long as you are kissing/escalating in dates 1-2 then you're good.

I meant reject you like disqualify you from her dating options.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Strangely enough I haven't had women reject my offer to come over in a looooooooong time. However, I have had rejections during the escalation process, usually in the form of LMR, though this tends to happen more when I'm rusty and don't feel her out properly.

I generally think it's best to completely let go of 1st date bangs (unless she's a hoe just looking for a ****ing) and make it a goal to invite them over to your place for dinner on the 2nd date. 1st date should have some physical escalation, a kiss or two ideally, then leave it on a high note with sexual tension still there.

My "success rate" for 2nd date bangs is much, much higher, accordingly, close to 100%. 2nd date bangs are perfectly fine for LTRs too, imo.

 

[Murk]

I meant reject you like disqualify you from her dating options.

Oh I agree then, by the end of date 1 she should be noticeably interested in you otherwise it's a waste of time.

 

[manfromitaly]

I disagree, some will make you wait 1-2 more dates even if they like you. As long as you are kissing/escalating in dates 1-2 then you're good.

I agree, here in my city it happens often, we all know each other, many girls don't have sex on the first date for fear of having social repercussions

 

[manfromitaly]

Strangely enough I haven't had women reject my offer to come over in a looooooooong time. However, I have had rejections during the escalation process, usually in the form of LMR, though this tends to happen more when I'm rusty and don't feel her out properly.

I generally think it's best to completely let go of 1st date bangs (unless she's a hoe just looking for a ****ing) and make it a goal to invite them over to your place for dinner on the 2nd date. 1st date should have some physical escalation, a kiss or two ideally, then leave it on a high note with sexual tension still there.

My "success rate" for 2nd date bangs is much, much higher, accordingly, close to 100%. 2nd date bangs are perfectly fine for LTRs too, imo.

I completely agree with you, the best thing is to invite her home on the second date, the problem is that as in the case of this girl, I don't care to see her again, so I played it all

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

You should consider developing a hook to snag women's interest that can only be investigated further in your home. The view of the city lights from your balcony, wine collection, art, something. You have to be passionate about it too. If it's your balcony, make sure it's a nice view; get some chairs out there, a table, a candle, etc.

As @FlexpertHamilton mentions, I have a near 100% close rate on second dates at my place.

 

[Barrister]

Always escalate. You escalate until you hear her say "no" or some variance of it. Once she does, you back off, but even then not all the way.

If it is pretty PG Date 1 and you only have a kiss at the end of the night, of course inviting her up from there is going to feel off - so don't do that. But, if things are hot and heavy on Date 1, absolutely ask her back up to your place. You want her to know immediately that you want sex and aren't going to be her little buddy/orbiter. I have never had a girl not want to keep seeing me because I asked her up to my place Date 1. I have had them very excited sexually on Date 2 though even after saying no Date 1 and will usually get the lay by then.

An aside - the best LTR-potential girls are not going to put out on Date 1. So it sometimes is a good thing to get this if you are looking for something more. I have always crossed off a girl immediately from LTR-potential if I sleep with them on Date 1.

 

[Hal9000]

You shouldn't wait til the end of the date to go in for a kiss, assuming things are going well. Then after the kiss, once again assuming you're a good kisser, you pull back after a moment. When you leave her wanting more the old hamster wheel starts spinning and she wonders why you aren't pawing all over her like everyone else. Then she will start to initiate at some point and you're good to go. Obviously this has to be done well by you or she just thinks you didn't enjoy the kiss. You've got to keep up the flirty banter, etc to make clear you're interested but not act like if you don't score with her it will ruin your night. Delicate balance.

 

[manfromitaly]

Always escalate. You escalate until you hear her say "no" or some variance of it. Once she does, you back off, but even then not all the way.

If it is pretty PG Date 1 and you only have a kiss at the end of the night, of course inviting her up from there is going to feel off - so don't do that. But, if things are hot and heavy on Date 1, absolutely ask her back up to your place. You want her to know immediately that you want sex and aren't going to be her little buddy/orbiter. I have never had a girl not want to keep seeing me because I asked her up to my place Date 1. I have had them very excited sexually on Date 2 though even after saying no Date 1 and will usually get the lay by then.

An aside - the best LTR-potential girls are not going to put out on Date 1. So it sometimes is a good thing to get this if you are looking for something more. I have always crossed off a girl immediately from LTR-potential if I sleep with them on Date 1.

I'm 100% sure she's a LTR girl, but I wasn't interested in seeing her again and so I tried everything, also because the evening had gone well and she was into me

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

You shouldn't wait til the end of the date to go in for a kiss, assuming things are going well. Then after the kiss, once again assuming you're a good kisser, you pull back after a moment. When you leave her wanting more the old hamster wheel starts spinning and she wonders why you aren't pawing all over her like everyone else. Then she will start to initiate at some point and you're good to go. Obviously this has to be done well by you or she just thinks you didn't enjoy the kiss. You've got to keep up the flirty banter, etc to make clear you're interested but not act like if you don't score with her it will ruin your night. Delicate balance.

End of the date kisses are so cringe, tryhard, forced, expected, NPC behavior, literally every thirsty simp in history tries to go for it and gets rejected. Much better to go for spontaneous kisses mid date.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Depends on the logistics. If the venue is close to your place, absolutely invite her back. If not, eject and stay a mystery.

 

[SW15]

Always escalate. You escalate until you hear her say "no" or some variance of it. Once she does, you back off, but even then not all the way.

Yes, this is way to do it.

You shouldn't wait til the end of the date to go in for a kiss, assuming things are going well. Then after the kiss, once again assuming you're a good kisser, you pull back after a moment. When you leave her wanting more the old hamster wheel starts spinning and she wonders why you aren't pawing all over her like everyone else. Then she will start to initiate at some point and you're good to go. Obviously this has to be done well by you or she just thinks you didn't enjoy the kiss. You've got to keep up the flirty banter, etc to make clear you're interested but not act like if you don't score with her it will ruin your night. Delicate balance.

End of the date kisses are so cringe, tryhard, forced, expected, NPC behavior, literally every thirsty simp in history tries to go for it and gets rejected. Much better to go for spontaneous kisses mid date.

I agree with both of these posters. It's not a good idea to leave the kiss to nearly the end of the date. It's best to have some kissing during the middle of the date. Kissing during the middle date leaves the possibility open of first date sex. First date sex isn't guaranteed, but it's a very good step in the right direction towards sex.

Leaving the possibility of a kiss to the end of the date increases the possibility of an awkward exchange ending the date. A lot of men who attempt a first kiss near the end of the first date end up getting rejected. The move does occasionally work and the man gets the kiss, but it fails more than it succeeds and isn't a first date best practice.

If it is pretty PG Date 1 and you only have a kiss at the end of the night, of course inviting her up from there is going to feel off - so don't do that. But, if things are hot and heavy on Date 1, absolutely ask her back up to your place. You want her to know immediately that you want sex and aren't going to be her little buddy/orbiter. I have never had a girl not want to keep seeing me because I asked her up to my place Date 1. I have had them very excited sexually on Date 2 though even after saying no Date 1 and will usually get the lay by then.

Agree here, all good comments. I would add that it isn't even worth offering if there's a good chance the offer is rejected.

An aside - the best LTR-potential girls are not going to put out on Date 1. So it sometimes is a good thing to get this if you are looking for something more. I have always crossed off a girl immediately from LTR-potential if I sleep with them on Date 1.

This is true. I wouldn't write off a woman for a relationship based on first date sex, but most women who want relationships won't have sex on first dates, even if they are on first dates with attractive alphas/sigmas.

Do you also cross off a woman from LTR potential if you get same night sex from a nightlife venue approach? How often do you turn same night sex from a nightlife approach into at least a second instance of sex?

One of my good friends got a lot of same night sex from nightlife venue approaches and few of his instances of same night sex resulted in a 2nd instance of sex.

 

[Barrister]

Do you also cross off a woman from LTR potential if you get same night sex from a nightlife venue approach? How often do you turn same night sex from a nightlife approach into at least a second instance of sex?

One of my good friends got a lot of same night sex from nightlife venue approaches and few of his instances of same night sex resulted in a 2nd instance of sex.

Most of the 1st date lays I get are from just that - first dates. I have hooked up with a handful of women over the past few years from an approach in the night time, but this is far more rare. Part of that is I am not actively involved in the "club scene." Most of these are from bars where there is a bit more restraint. When I have gotten a same night-approach lay, it has been very rare that it results in subsequent sex. Those are usually a one-off.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yesterday I was on a date with a girl, we drank a beer on a bench on the waterfront in my city, after about an hour I kissed her, she was taken, she kissed me passionately.

We went back to my house (she accompanied me with her his car, I don't have a vehicle at the moment) We kissed again and I told her to come up to my house but she said no, after talking for a while I asked her again but nothing. I didn't insist anymore, it wasn't worth it.

I made my moves, could I have done better? you can always do better

She's probably looking for a more serious relationship and hasn't felt like it, I'm always of the opinion that here we are behind in the way of thinking, plus I live in a fairly small city

What I think you could have done better is got the talking done upfront and not broken your makeout session up with more chit chat. That session should be passionate, sexually charged and very handsy and feely.

Subtle difference, but may have helped you move into your apartment.