"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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When sadness comes, and you don't want it to go away?

L

loving

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Why is it that when a sad or bad state of being comes over me, I don't want it to go away, I don't want to let it go?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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A

Aragon034

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i could give a snarky comment, but i'll hold it.

I really think it has something to do with the fact that it's a strong emotion, and like it or not that has physical effects.

Think of terminator 2, when Arnie asks the kid "Why do you cry?" it's a damn hard question to define.

As far as trying to get better, call up a buddy, go shoot some pool, watch a comedian you like... replace that sad emotion with a joyful one.
 
M

macallik

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i think it is because it allows us to idealize how things are/could be/or once were. For example, if you break up with an ex, you forget all the bad stuff and remember all the good stuff. As a result that image you have created in your head is much more pleasant and interesting than the life you are living immediately following the break up.

Once reality sets in, I think the pining for the unattainable wanes and things level back out again.
 
K

KontrollerX

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Maybe the feeling even though bad seems to make you feel alive or important in some way.

As bad as the feeling may be perhaps it also gives you something to take your mind off how boring and dull you find the world assuming you find the world boring and dull.

One of the most interesting things I learned from listening to Tony Robbins is pretty much everything we humans do that is negative is actually us humans intending to do something from having a positive intent for our lives.

For example the guy or girl that wants to kill themselves probably doesn't really want to kill themselves they just want to escape their pain whatever that pain may be.

Also the person that likes to hold onto negative emotions probably doesn't want to be experiencing or hanging on to negative emotions but is doing so for some positive reason which could be the reasons I already listed earlier in this post.
 
H

horaholic

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How long has this been going on? If its been over a few months, you whould probably seek professional help.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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