"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

When sadness comes, and you don't want it to go away?

loving

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2008
Messages
206
Reaction score
2
Location
Follow your bliss
Why is it that when a sad or bad state of being comes over me, I don't want it to go away, I don't want to let it go?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Aragon034

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 31, 2008
Messages
573
Reaction score
15
Location
T-dot
i could give a snarky comment, but i'll hold it.

I really think it has something to do with the fact that it's a strong emotion, and like it or not that has physical effects.

Think of terminator 2, when Arnie asks the kid "Why do you cry?" it's a damn hard question to define.

As far as trying to get better, call up a buddy, go shoot some pool, watch a comedian you like... replace that sad emotion with a joyful one.
 

macallik

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 23, 2007
Messages
906
Reaction score
77
Location
Chicago
i think it is because it allows us to idealize how things are/could be/or once were. For example, if you break up with an ex, you forget all the bad stuff and remember all the good stuff. As a result that image you have created in your head is much more pleasant and interesting than the life you are living immediately following the break up.

Once reality sets in, I think the pining for the unattainable wanes and things level back out again.
 

KontrollerX

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
4,476
Reaction score
182
Maybe the feeling even though bad seems to make you feel alive or important in some way.

As bad as the feeling may be perhaps it also gives you something to take your mind off how boring and dull you find the world assuming you find the world boring and dull.

One of the most interesting things I learned from listening to Tony Robbins is pretty much everything we humans do that is negative is actually us humans intending to do something from having a positive intent for our lives.

For example the guy or girl that wants to kill themselves probably doesn't really want to kill themselves they just want to escape their pain whatever that pain may be.

Also the person that likes to hold onto negative emotions probably doesn't want to be experiencing or hanging on to negative emotions but is doing so for some positive reason which could be the reasons I already listed earlier in this post.
 

horaholic

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 12, 2008
Messages
2,254
Reaction score
79
How long has this been going on? If its been over a few months, you whould probably seek professional help.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Top