"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

When is moving in together acceptable?

Dust 2 Dust

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2002
Messages
2,163
Reaction score
679
Location
Florida
Never.

After my last girlfriend moved out 3 years ago I swore I would never live with another woman. Nothing beats living alone and being the king of your own castle. I like my home to be a place of dark and quiet. After she left I threw out all her stupid decorations and plants. I painted the walls grey. This isn't possible with an insufferable nag waiting for you at home every time you leave your socks on the floor or God forbid leave the toilet seat up.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

penkitten

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 14, 2001
Messages
8,256
Reaction score
236
Age
49
Location
at our house
I think that it is important to find out if you like living with someone before you get married. Can you handle all the quirky things the other person does? Those things aren't apparent at first. A couple lives together and gradually each individual becomes comfortable enough to act more like their true self rather than their own best salesman.
Does she leave dishes in the sink over night?
Does he throw his clothes all over the floor?
Does she ever take the trash out?
Does she poop with the door open?
Does he brush his teeth twice a day?
Does she get stressed out and act like a lunatic?

Those things sound silly.

But there are so many things you just don't know about someone unless you live with them.
 

Tenacity

Banned
Joined
Jun 23, 2014
Messages
3,890
Reaction score
2,160
Now I'm not in an LTR and nowhere near moving in with a woman at this point in my life but I'm curious about the topic.

The general consensus of the forum, I've gathered, is that when you move in with an LTR, eventually things will go to shyt and she will take you for granted and take advantage of living with you.

It's inevitably doomed to fail. That's the vibe I get from everyone's viewpoint here when this topic has arisen.

So what's the deal with this because obviously if you're in an LTR for a long enough period of time and things are going well the next "step" would be moving in together no?

Is it only acceptable when married?

Basically is it EVER a good idea?

Enlighten me.
If it's a chick you are about to get married to (which I have no idea why you would want to do that). If it's not, then you are just setting yourself up for legal problems with a chick that's not even technically your wife. For example, you can't just KICK someone out in most states.

Plus with the palimony going around, in some states, if you stay together long enough they consider you married even if you aren't. Which means "kicking her out" could put you liable for palimony.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,680
Reaction score
4,874
It's acceptable when she's willing to do anything for you. As for timing, I can't even answer that. My GF moved in with me without even really having the discussion. She just kinda did it. Nothing's really changed either. She still cooks, still fvcks, still buys me things, etc. I'm pretty sure she knows I'll kick her out if she becomes a pain in my ass.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Von

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 23, 2016
Messages
2,189
Reaction score
1,221
Age
37
Gotta say i know 2-3 couples in their 50s who's been in a 10years+ LTR without EVER moving together

They do sleep at each other and travel together.

But each their own house
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,586
Reaction score
11,948
Location
DFW, TX
That is a terrible decision.

You're going to marry a person without even knowing if you enjoy living with them????
Same way I think. Knowing whether you can live with her or not is crucial if your going to be married. What I f you find she prefers to have her own bed in another room?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

Top