"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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When is moving in together acceptable?

Dust 2 Dust

Master Don Juan
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Never.

After my last girlfriend moved out 3 years ago I swore I would never live with another woman. Nothing beats living alone and being the king of your own castle. I like my home to be a place of dark and quiet. After she left I threw out all her stupid decorations and plants. I painted the walls grey. This isn't possible with an insufferable nag waiting for you at home every time you leave your socks on the floor or God forbid leave the toilet seat up.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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penkitten

Master Don Juan
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at our house
I think that it is important to find out if you like living with someone before you get married. Can you handle all the quirky things the other person does? Those things aren't apparent at first. A couple lives together and gradually each individual becomes comfortable enough to act more like their true self rather than their own best salesman.
Does she leave dishes in the sink over night?
Does he throw his clothes all over the floor?
Does she ever take the trash out?
Does she poop with the door open?
Does he brush his teeth twice a day?
Does she get stressed out and act like a lunatic?

Those things sound silly.

But there are so many things you just don't know about someone unless you live with them.
 

Tenacity

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Now I'm not in an LTR and nowhere near moving in with a woman at this point in my life but I'm curious about the topic.

The general consensus of the forum, I've gathered, is that when you move in with an LTR, eventually things will go to shyt and she will take you for granted and take advantage of living with you.

It's inevitably doomed to fail. That's the vibe I get from everyone's viewpoint here when this topic has arisen.

So what's the deal with this because obviously if you're in an LTR for a long enough period of time and things are going well the next "step" would be moving in together no?

Is it only acceptable when married?

Basically is it EVER a good idea?

Enlighten me.
If it's a chick you are about to get married to (which I have no idea why you would want to do that). If it's not, then you are just setting yourself up for legal problems with a chick that's not even technically your wife. For example, you can't just KICK someone out in most states.

Plus with the palimony going around, in some states, if you stay together long enough they consider you married even if you aren't. Which means "kicking her out" could put you liable for palimony.
 

Desdinova

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It's acceptable when she's willing to do anything for you. As for timing, I can't even answer that. My GF moved in with me without even really having the discussion. She just kinda did it. Nothing's really changed either. She still cooks, still fvcks, still buys me things, etc. I'm pretty sure she knows I'll kick her out if she becomes a pain in my ass.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Von

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Gotta say i know 2-3 couples in their 50s who's been in a 10years+ LTR without EVER moving together

They do sleep at each other and travel together.

But each their own house
 

mrgoodstuff

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That is a terrible decision.

You're going to marry a person without even knowing if you enjoy living with them????
Same way I think. Knowing whether you can live with her or not is crucial if your going to be married. What I f you find she prefers to have her own bed in another room?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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