"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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When and how to determine her IL

Desdinova

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There's a lot of people around here who try to determine what a woman's IL is when they're wanting to do a number close. They look for IOIs, try reading her body language, decipering her ********, etc etc.

The only real use for IL is to determine whether you should continue dating a woman or not. Also, a woman's IL should be determined by her actions, not her reactions.

IL should NOT matter when you're going for a number close. Trying to determine this before a number close will prevent you from actually going through with it. IL fluctuates, especially in the early stages of dating, and is a terrible indicator and motivator for doing a number close.

Now, if you notice that she hesitates but gives you her number, do you just toss it away and say "I don't have a chance with her"? NO! You continue with your plan to set up a date with the woman. You invite her out to coffee and get a response. If she agrees, good! If she doesn't agree to your date, try her on another day when she is possibly done her period. If you get a no-go the second round without a counter-offer, then toss her number away. Her lack of action says enough.

If you get a yes to a date, but she cancels at the last minute (or doesn't show up), then you toss her number away. Her action says she's not interested.

Reactions:
- How she interacts with you
- How she responds to a number close
- How she sounds when you put forth a date idea

Actions:
- She doesn't show up for a date
- She flirts with other guys
- She asks for money
- She talks on her cell phone while she's on a date with you

Actions are solid evidence of her interest. Reactions are open to interpretation and differ from woman to woman. Base her IL by her action (or lack of it) to decide if you should continue dating. Other than this, there is no reason to try determining her IL.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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skip2mylou781

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Desdinova, move this to discussion forum so more people can read this.....very few visit this section these days
 

Desdinova

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A few problems with that...

1) I'm not a mod in this forum
2) People who don't read and try out the tips here are KBJs
3) Anybody who's an experienced DJ doesn't need this tip
 

Docs

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I'll add a useful bit.

If it's all setup and you go to pick her up and she flakes, or her dog died, or something stupid..(truthful or not), call up a friend, don't waste the night going 'sigh'.

=)
 

Desdinova

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I wholeheartedly agree, Docs. There's no reason to waste an evening because a woman flaked. A woman should never the the source of your happiness. She should add to your existing happiness.

If she flakes, so what? You can still go out and have fun!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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