Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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When and how to determine her IL

Desdinova

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There's a lot of people around here who try to determine what a woman's IL is when they're wanting to do a number close. They look for IOIs, try reading her body language, decipering her ********, etc etc.

The only real use for IL is to determine whether you should continue dating a woman or not. Also, a woman's IL should be determined by her actions, not her reactions.

IL should NOT matter when you're going for a number close. Trying to determine this before a number close will prevent you from actually going through with it. IL fluctuates, especially in the early stages of dating, and is a terrible indicator and motivator for doing a number close.

Now, if you notice that she hesitates but gives you her number, do you just toss it away and say "I don't have a chance with her"? NO! You continue with your plan to set up a date with the woman. You invite her out to coffee and get a response. If she agrees, good! If she doesn't agree to your date, try her on another day when she is possibly done her period. If you get a no-go the second round without a counter-offer, then toss her number away. Her lack of action says enough.

If you get a yes to a date, but she cancels at the last minute (or doesn't show up), then you toss her number away. Her action says she's not interested.

Reactions:
- How she interacts with you
- How she responds to a number close
- How she sounds when you put forth a date idea

Actions:
- She doesn't show up for a date
- She flirts with other guys
- She asks for money
- She talks on her cell phone while she's on a date with you

Actions are solid evidence of her interest. Reactions are open to interpretation and differ from woman to woman. Base her IL by her action (or lack of it) to decide if you should continue dating. Other than this, there is no reason to try determining her IL.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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skip2mylou781

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Desdinova, move this to discussion forum so more people can read this.....very few visit this section these days
 

Desdinova

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A few problems with that...

1) I'm not a mod in this forum
2) People who don't read and try out the tips here are KBJs
3) Anybody who's an experienced DJ doesn't need this tip
 

Docs

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I'll add a useful bit.

If it's all setup and you go to pick her up and she flakes, or her dog died, or something stupid..(truthful or not), call up a friend, don't waste the night going 'sigh'.

=)
 

Desdinova

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I wholeheartedly agree, Docs. There's no reason to waste an evening because a woman flaked. A woman should never the the source of your happiness. She should add to your existing happiness.

If she flakes, so what? You can still go out and have fun!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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