When a woman says "we can go out as friends"

[Clockwerk50]

Usually if someone goes from friends to lovers, its because he was a Placeholder and the lover label is not genuine. There is a study that relationships that develop after going from friends to lovers dont hold long, even two times less then distance relationships. There is a good reason why you were friendzoned, thats nothing you can fake. Its ingrained in the female subconcious that it wont hold.

Where did you find this study? All I was able to find was that two thirds of all romantic relationships start out as friendships, and it's actually the most common and preferred way people get together according to the below research study from 2021. I couldn't find any peer-reviewed paper claiming friends-to-lovers relationships break up 'two times more than long-distance relationships.'

The Friends-to-Lovers Pathway to Romance: Prevalent, Preferred, and Overlooked by Science - PMC

Sosuave always says when it comes to hot women, its her “actions before words” and "don't take what women say seriously" and "treat women as silly and cute".

Why now Sosuave is saying: "when a woman says 'we can go out as friends', take these words literally". If these words are to be taken literally, every else a woman's says has to be taken literally.

Unless Sosuave is saying "when a woman's speaks, pick and choose what to take literally depending on the day of the week"



I agree with this.

All of those quotes just mean that women communicate subtly and covertly, until they aren't.

"Only as friends" can mean anything from “I’m not interested at all,” to “I’m not looking at you romantically right now, but I’m open to getting to know you,” to “I like you, but I don’t want to seem easy,” and everything in between. The point is that attraction is communicated through a pattern of words, body language, and behaviour. People who focus only on words or only on actions often misread the situation.

That said, if someone explicitly defines the relationship as friendship and their actions consistently match that, there’s no hidden message to decode. If her behaviour later becomes clearly romantic, then reassess. Otherwise, take the friendship at face value, especially if one is illiterate in female communication.

 

[Gamisch]

Noo... bro, its a frame grab and a manipulation tactic haha. She isn't interested when you hear that coming out of her mouth

I kinda agree with you ...


It IS an insult. But yet...if she does go there's still an opportunity for OP.

As I said , personally I wouldn't eject and let her go. But I can imagine that he wont be the first nor the last man to bed a woman after hearing that sentence.

 

[Gamisch]

Hmm.

A lot of so called "Don's" on here, are advising this poor bloke to accept being friendzoned.

"If you have nothing else better to do, go for it".

.

Tbh this one is kinda tricky innit?

What's good advice? To tell him " ditch her ( lets say hb8,5) because its a humiliation ritual ". Yet ,she will go through all the motion to prepare for a date / being out in public including shaving her self...

Yes, if a man has an abundance he could and perhaps should ditch her. But let's be real; if a man only gets som many shots at hot women he just might give it a try...

Again, personally I wouldn't go through with it. But I can also imagine "dons" saying he shouldn't give up yet.

 

[MatureDJ]

So if Sosuave hears "we can go as friends" is it game over? They are done with the woman?

It had never BEGUN for you.

 

[MatureDJ]

no its one of the biggest insults a men can receive, subconsciously you were deemed as the safe beta male

Agreed, it is a SUPER insult.

 

[zekko]

"Only as friends" can mean anything from “I’m not interested at all,” to “I’m not looking at you romantically right now, but I’m open to getting to know you,” to “I like you, but I don’t want to seem easy,” and everything in between. The point is that attraction is communicated through a pattern of words, body language, and behaviour. People who focus only on words or only on actions often misread the situation.

Yeah, it's not a good idea to get too wrapped up with labels. Different people define different terms differently. I remember talking to a girl about the words "going out" and "dating". She thought that "We're going out" was way more serious than "We're dating", which she saw as very casual. I told her I thought it was the opposite. But basically, people go out to get to know each other and have a good time. What difference does it make what people call that at the beginning? Most people don't start out as lovers, it's more of a feeling out process. Now if you go out for a bit and she then decides you're just a friend, then that's not so encouraging.

Anyway, what if she wants to be a friend with benefits? The whole thing is silly, really.

 

[viking22]

There is a difference between a GENUINE friendship that can sometimes blossom into a romance and the LJBF (let's just be friends) soft rejection that women give guys.

Also you aren't interested in being friends with this girl. You want to sleep with her. So you're being disingenuous.

 

[BadBoy89]

There is a difference between a GENUINE friendship that can sometimes blossom into a romance and the LJBF (let's just be friends) soft rejection that women give guys.

Fair

Also you aren't interested in being friends with this girl. You want to sleep with her. So you're being disingenuous.

Thats an assumption.

A man can be friends with a girl and want to sleep with her at the same time. They are not mutually exclusive.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Tbh this one is kinda tricky innit?

What's good advice? To tell him " ditch her ( lets say hb8,5) because its a humiliation ritual ". Yet ,she will go through all the motion to prepare for a date / being out in public including shaving her self...

Yes, if a man has an abundance he could and perhaps should ditch her. But let's be real; if a man only gets som many shots at hot women he just might give it a try...

Again, personally I wouldn't go through with it. But I can also imagine "dons" saying he shouldn't give up yet.

A man with options has no time for this type of silliness.

 

[Gamisch]

A man with options has no time for this type of silliness.

True...

 

[viking22]

You've been training with this girl for several months. If an organic friendship was going to develop it would have done so by now.
Buying her lunch is just another way to buy her time.

Even if you do not have abundant options and she is hot really this is just a humiliation ritual because she will be nice but continue to keep you at arms length and brush you off if you persist with trying to force some kind of friendship/relationship.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's okay to have female friends if that is what you want. But it doesn't sound like you want that with this woman, so my advice is to go with her to this "friend's lunch date", so you don't look like a butt hurt little b1tch, then forget about her.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@BadBoy89 "How does Sosuave take it when a woman they like says "we can go out as friends?"

If I'm otherwise unengaged, and she seems like she may be still susceptible to influence, I take her up on the offer. Chances success vanish faster than the overall population of South Korea, if we throw in the towel, the moment an obstacle appears

 

[Kang the Conqueror]

A date was your offer. Friendship became her choice. Let that choice become her prison. If she returns seeking more, deny her the victory she once refused. Some doors are sealed by one’s own hand.

 

[BadBoy89]

You've been training with this girl for several months. If an organic friendship was going to develop it would have done so by now.
Buying her lunch is just another way to buy her time.

Not necessarily. It could be workout talk the whole time, all business.

Even if you do not have abundant options and she is hot really this is just a humiliation ritual because she will be nice but continue to keep you at arms length and brush you off if you persist with trying to force some kind of friendship/relationship.

A man can't turn it around in a different setting?

I think zekko said it, this is different than a man going out with her several times and then a woman says it. If a woman is willing to be seen with the man and spend with the man, whether its a free lunch or not, its an opportunity.

I'm little surprised the top Alpha Dog's in here are saying "you're done" and "humiliated" and "its over" when a woman says "we can go only as friends". The response I gave was "Sure, I'll pick you up at 12 pm." In fact, my response could be interpreted as "yes I want friendship too, you are not hot enough for me to sleep with you."

For alot of men, it takes time to develop something with a woman. They aren't top men on Sosuave where a woman's clothes come off after a 1st date and the hot woman feels blessed she gave into her basic instincts to such a Alpha.

Yet maybe they should work on being that guy.