whats your take?

[Alpheta]

Im in a relationship for one and a half years and as you guys know, Ramadan has started. I am not really religious but this time round i wanted a spiritual journey during the holy month. Therefore i told my GF that i will go full NC her for a month while i concentrate on myself. She didn't like the idea at first but given that she is religious she agreed to it.

Now, before we parted ways temporarily, we decided wed spend a few nights together in the countryside. Every thing went good. She cried as i left. Anyways, since the day I parted we had 3 days left until Ramadan started. She told me how she wants to talk to me everyday before we go on the 'break.' Now call me paranoid but I didnt feel the sense of urgency on her part. She always initiates and she did still initiate but it just wasnt as urgent. She didnt really call for me to ring her each day for the last few days. This could partially be because she went back home after we left the countyside but still it didnt feel right.

However, i didn't say anything until the last day. In the morning of the last day she texts me to ask whether i will call. I text back saying 'ofcourse.' She then tells me she is going to be 20 minutes. I say cool. She took about 2 hours until she texts me saying to call her. I found that disrespectful. One because she said 20 minutes and two because she could have easily told me she was going to be late. So what do i do? I text her back telling her '20 minutes should be 20 minutes' and that 'i will talk to you after June.'

Hell broke loose. She texts me 200 times and calls me 20 times. All of a sudden theres urgency.Tellin me im cruel have too much arrogance and pride etc etc she sent me a voice note in the end tearing up with some cheesy ass lines.

Anyways its been 7 days in to Ramadan. Its all silence right now.

I did what i felt was correct. However looking back i feel i may have overreacted. There is no way ill be contacting her before the end of the month. Just thought id put this out there.

PS. Please try to stay away from bringing religion in to this.

 

[marmel75]

Lmao...I don't even know what to say about this. Guess you'll be looking for a new GF after Ramadan.

 

[dustmuffin]

What is the point of not seeing her during Ramadan?

 

[Alpheta]

What is the point of not seeing her during Ramadan?

Reason being its hypocritical of me praying but then indulging in things that are forbidden.She understood this.

 

[Alpheta]

Lmao...I don't even know what to say about this. Guess you'll be looking for a new GF after Ramadan.

I dont see why its so surprising. I did what i wanted. Even if the 1month thing seems hilarious, its what i felt like doing.

I also felt disrespect and followed through.

 

[dustmuffin]

Reason being its hypocritical of me praying but then indulging in things that are forbidden.She understood this.

Couldn't you have just cut out sex and still see her?

 

[Alpheta]

Couldn't you have just cut out sex and still see her?

Its strictly forbidden hence the NC. Plus i did this for me. I seem to feel reliant on her, if you know what i mean. Seeing her texts all the time. Just wanted to rebuild myself. Create the independent mind. Give myslef a break. I am feeling the repercussions but i expected this.

 

[dustmuffin]

Its strictly forbidden hence the NC. Plus i did this for me. I seem to feel reliant on her, if you know what i mean. Seeing her texts all the time. Just wanted to rebuild myself. Create the independent mind. Give myslef a break. I am feeling the repercussions but i expected this.

Ok now that I understand your reasoning I see your point of view. Your woman is Muslim too? She should be able to accept your decision and wait it out.

If not then there are plenty more women to be had. I'm sure you can find a few that will embrace your decissions.

 

[Alpheta]

Ok now that I understand your reasoning I see your point of view. Your woman is Muslim too? She should be able to accept your decision and wait it out.

If not then there are plenty more women to be had. I'm sure you can find a few that will embrace your decissions.

She does agree. I would say she's a bit more religious than myself so she understands.

The only thing I would say that I feel may have hindered the current status would prob be the way I parted. As in I didn't call her.

I feel like I did the right thing. I've been taught here that we must stick to what we as men feel is right and not let our goals be driven away by women. I feel I did that by telling her to NC for a month. I have also been taught to put the foot down if you feel disrespected. I feel I did that when I refused to call.

 

[marmel75]

I dont see why its so surprising. I did what i wanted. Even if the 1month thing seems hilarious, its what i felt like doing.

I also felt disrespect and followed through.

You disrespected yourself. You are trying to game her like you just met her except you've been in a year and a half long relationship. "Doing what you want" isn't going to work in this case unfortunately. That just looks and sounds fvcking retarded.

This is what happens when you read and use stuff out of context.

 

[Alpheta]

You disrespected yourself. You are trying to game her like you just met her except you've been in a year and a half long relationship. "Doing what you want" isn't going to work in this case unfortunately. That just looks and sounds fvcking retarded.

This is what happens when you read and use stuff out of context.

Doesn't really matter how long the relationship is. You must always game. I'm not exactly gaming here tho. I'm putting myself first no?

 

[MrWiggles]

Nice going Ramadonjuan, go get yourself a new girl

 

[ZTIME]

Reason being its hypocritical of me praying but then indulging in things that are forbidden.She understood this.

Hmmmm, I thought it was eating, drinking, and sex included in your fast. Where does texting come into play??

Sometimes playing a game where you don't completely understand the rules inevitably leads to losing.

 

[marmel75]

Doesn't really matter how long the relationship is. You must always game. I'm not exactly gaming here tho. I'm putting myself first no?

Yeah the issue is you are trying to game the same way as when you first met her. That's good for getting a relationship but not necessarily keeping one.

Putting yourself first in what exactly? So you tell this chick you have a long relationship with that she is irrelevant to you and you'd rather go on whatever journey alone rather than with her. That's cool if that's what you want to do. I'm just telling you your relationship with her is likely over from doing so.

It just seems you've taken some principals and applied them in retarded ways that are out of context. You know...sort of like ISIS takes principals and applies them in retarded ways that are out of context.

 

[Alpheta]

Hmmmm, I thought it was eating, drinking, and sex included in your fast. Where does texting come into play??

Sometimes playing a game where you don't completely understand the rules inevitably leads to losing.

GF BF /relationships are forbidden. Even though i cant abide by this rule i felt like at least in the holy month, I should.

 

[ZTIME]

GF BF /relationships are forbidden. Even though i cant abide by this rule i felt like at least in the holy month, I should.

You're not mating, you're texting. It's kind of like a point system anyway. By having a girlfriend 11 months of the year it's haram (I think that's what you call it), so what you do for this 1 month won't alieveate the previous 11.

 

[Alpheta]

You're not mating, you're texting. It's kind of like a point system anyway. By having a girlfriend 11 months of the year it's haram (I think that's what you call it), so what you do for this 1 month won't alieveate the previous 11.

I know. I want to marry her. She was a Virgin when I met her. Popped her. Did all the sins under the sun lol. Tbh I just can't pray when I know I'm ignoring all other parts of my religion. At least for a month I can.

That and also my dependance on the girl. Need to rectify it and rebuild. I mean you can see the repricussions the nc is having after 7 days. I knew it would come but I want to deal with it. Master it if anything.

 

[Alpheta]

Yeah the issue is you are trying to game the same way as when you first met her. That's good for getting a relationship but not necessarily keeping one.

Putting yourself first in what exactly? So you tell this chick you have a long relationship with that she is irrelevant to you and you'd rather go on whatever journey alone rather than with her. That's cool if that's what you want to do. I'm just telling you your relationship with her is likely over from doing so.

It just seems you've taken some principals and applied them in retarded ways that are out of context. You know...sort of like ISIS takes principals and applies them in retarded ways that are out of context.

Yea I hear you.

The thing is she understands why I want this. She's from the same faith.

 

[ZTIME]

I know. I want to marry her. She was a Virgin when I met her. Popped her. Did all the sins under the sun lol. Tbh I just can't pray when I know I'm ignoring all other parts of my religion. At least for a month I can.

That and also my dependance on the girl. Need to rectify it and rebuild. I mean you can see the repricussions the nc is having after 7 days. I knew it would come but I want to deal with it. Master it if anything.

Cool, be you. You just may find at the end of 30 days you will have mastered that which is no longer there. A spiritual journey is one thing, masking your running from your own dependency as such is something different.

 

[Alpheta]

Cool, be you. You just may find at the end of 30 days you will have mastered that which is no longer there. A spiritual journey is one thing, masking your running from your own dependency as such is something different.

I don't understand. Elaborate if you can.