You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Nah. I'm talking friends etc. plates not included.Are you asking this 9volt of us fellow DJs or is it from the perspective of a plate? In any case, I like to have different social spheres depending on the hobby I've taken up. It creates interesting and dynamic conversations because of the perspective a person has in one social sphere will be different in another sphere.
When I'm single, I have a wider net of social circles and my confidence tends to be higher because I'll be more outgoing. I still keep a core close social circle of bros from high school that I've known for almost 20 years, yet I typically only see them a few times a year because of working and going to school full time. They're all married and busy starting or have started families by now....
When I'm juggling 2-4 plates, my time in social circles gets reduced. It ramps back up when I drop plates.
I def. avoid debbie downers. If someone's too negative or talks too much crap behind my back, I remove my presence and attention.
I have my own hobbies and am happy with alone time, yet... too much isolation playing video games, binging Netflix, or studying mad hours in my room makes me desire to be around others and adventure outdoors.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
join a club or start hanging out somewhere you can make friendsStill trying to figure out how to keep friends and start a social circle,
move to the nearest city, the only thing worse than moving is living in a small townI wish that were possible but I live in a small town, and unfortunately theres nothing I can do unless I move, I'm preparing for the lone wolf life style
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Ditto. You want friends? Be a friend. Too many people are self absorbed these days then wonder how they end up isolated.I have a dozen or more "friends" and literally hundreds of aquantences.
And what if almost everyone around you is that self-absorbed person? That is literally the BEST way you can describe the average robot that goes to my university. My one friend actually said the same thing. People suck here haha....Ditto. You want friends? Be a friend. Too many people are self absorbed these days then wonder how they end up isolated.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Self absorbed may be a thing but don't forget there are plenty or introverts in this world as well. I'm more borderline but have multiple social circles. Close friends and hockey buddies of course. Out of both groups the majority is married with kids and or divorced.Ditto. You want friends? Be a friend. Too many people are self absorbed these days then wonder how they end up isolated.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.