"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What's the mature way to end things?

tryst type

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Been with a girl for almost six months now.
I've lost attraction for her somehow and want to break things off.
I don't want to be an ******* and give that reason bc she's a really nice girl.
She lives an hour away, should I use the distance as a reason? It does have something to do with it as well.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Warrior74

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using the distance as an excuse...seriously? That's not really mature is it?

Just tell her point blank, you think she's great but you want know it's not going to work out between you two and you want to date other people. Just be upright about it.

Of course if your not that brave, just dial back contact and visits down to zero and then when she asks what's going on tell her your moving on.
 

speed dawg

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Warrior74 said:
Just tell her point blank, you think she's great but you want know it's not going to work out between you two and you want to date other people. Just be upright about it.
Bingo. And she'll probably be upset, but will get over it quicker. And if you had a real relationship with her, don't try to keep her on as a plate. Have enough respect for her to cut her loose, let her heal for her own sake. Don't be like all the branch-swinging girls we talk about here.

And another thing that goes without saying, make sure you're doing what you really want to do here.
 

speed dawg

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There is no best way. All options suck equally.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Colossus

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Six months is awhile. Be kind about it...you say she's a nice girl.

Best thing to do is just straight-up tell her your heart isnt in it and you need to move on. Dont do the no contact thing; that's only for casual flings and situations that have gone terribly awry.
 

iqqi

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Never say "you are a nice girl". How awful.

Tell her that you do not want to be in a committed relationship with her, that you respect her too much to "move on" without letting her know.

But don't tell her she is "a nice girl". That is terrible!
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Tryst,
She does seem a very nice Girl,that makes it harder,I usually let them think they are off loading me,makes it easier....To give an excuse like distance,No,no,no....How would you feel if she tosses her job in and moves to your town?A woman in love might do that you know,If you don't want to tell her that you are seeing someone else,then come straight out with it,over coffee face to face then leave....cut all contact after that....All contact.
 

Allurre

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Distance is a plausible reason.

Man up. Tell her you're going to be very honest with how you're feeling lately.
Don't be afraid to unveil the truth. She will respect and appreciate you for it, even after she gets dumped.

Nothing lasts forever.
 
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