What's the deal with this Toronto chick??

[bigdave17]

You make enough money to see her, or fly her out whenever you want, so it could easily workout. After you bang her a few times she'll probably be talking about moving to the states. She's already telling you how much she loves America... take a hint dave

the problem is she can't come to the states so i would have to marry her

she's waiting for a passport to be able to come to US

 

[devilkingx2]

the problem is she can't come to the states so i would have to marry her

But That's exactly what you want so win-win

 

[spinich]

K1 visa.

 

[bigdave17]

we've been messaging each other constantly for last 6 day getting to know each other


yesterday I basically told her I wanted to meet up in real life and she hasn't responded back to me so I think she was just lonely and wanted some attention/validation. Oh well, I am very disappointed but it's good lesson for me not to get too excited before the other woman shows some real interest

 

[devilkingx2]

yesterday I basically told her I wanted to meet up in real life and she hasn't responded back to me so I think she was just lonely and wanted some attention/validation.

Give her at least 24 hours to respond, then the benefit of the doubt that maybe she didn't get your message

 

[HankHill]

we've been messaging each other constantly for last 6 day getting to know each other


yesterday I basically told her I wanted to meet up in real life and she hasn't responded back to me so I think she was just lonely and wanted some attention/validation. Oh well, I am very disappointed but it's good lesson for me not to get too excited before the other woman shows some real interest

What exactly did you say?

 

[bigdave17]

What exactly did you say?

she said she loved rollercoasters and amusement rides and we're talking about universal studios in florida. I told her "maybe I'll take you there someday "

i think this is dead lead now. I texted her late last night. If I don't get response from her today. I'll delete her number and all her pics

 

[sazc]

she said she loved rollercoasters and amusement rides and we're talking about universal studios in florida. I told her "maybe I'll take you there someday "

i think this is dead lead now. I texted her late last night. If I don't get response from her today. I'll delete her number and all her pics

fvckin facepalm

 

[bigdave17]

fvckin facepalm

should i message her anything else or just let it die?

 

[spinich]

Is anyone truly surprised by this outcome? I was really hoping Dave turned the corner on this one. Oh well, maybe next time??

 

[bigdave17]

Is anyone truly surprised by this outcome? I was really hoping Dave turned the corner on this one. Oh well, maybe next time??

I don't think I said anything unusual. i was gonna have to ask her out at some point. It's no secret i want to be with her. Either she was gonna say yes or no.

Mistake i made is not meeting up with her when my cousin was in town in Toronto last month. If i made an in person impression, she would have liked me. I just didn't know about it until it was too late.

 

[lamath]

Dont send her anymore txt
Just wait

 

[HankHill]

she said she loved rollercoasters and amusement rides and we're talking about universal studios in florida. I told her "maybe I'll take you there someday "

i think this is dead lead now. I texted her late last night. If I don't get response from her today. I'll delete her number and all her pics

Two things:

1. Don't assume anything. It's never over until it's over in your own head.

2. Don't say stuff like 'maybe I'll take you there someday' to a woman who you've been chatting with for 6+days! Like what is she supposed to say to that? Also, I would've expected the conversation to have gone further by now. I would've said 'awesome! Let's make it happen, when are you free to travel to Chicago?' She likely would've said something like 'sounds good but we haven't even met yet or may be a little further down the road' then I would've said 'May be you're right. Why don't I come visit you first so we can meet face to face. I always wanted to see the CN Tower, we can go to Bar Chef or the Rooftop at Broadview Hotel. I think it'll be fun. What's your availability in the next week or so?'

Anyways, at this point don't say anything else for a day. If you hear nothing back for at least 24hrs (may be more) then completely change the topic 'hey, I was wondering do you like <football, ice skating, whatever>' to see if she's open to re-engaging.

Also, what's going on with the NY chick? you gotta keep her in the incubation chamber too.

 

[guru1000]

Haha ... out of all the ways and suggestions given to you in how to ask her on a date, you come with," maybe I will take you there sometime." Sounds like a guy who just doesn't "get it"--and you don't. Hence, why the thousands of suggestions to get your feet wet and gain some experience in the social trenches before you are ready for the big league.

Not to worry though. You might be committing hundreds of errs before your social acuity is solid. This is just one of many.

As you are already socially connected to her (through family), she might forgive your lack and continue. But any socially savvy girl would have already eaten you up and spit you out.

 

[bigdave17]

Haha ... out of all the ways and suggestions given to you in how to ask her on a date, you come with," maybe I will take you there sometime." Sounds like a guy who just doesn't "get it"--and you don't. Hence, why the thousands of suggestions to get your feet wet and gain some experience in the social trenches before you are ready for the big league.

Not to worry though. You might be committing hundreds of errs before your social acuity is solid. This is just one of many.

As you are already socially connected to her (through family), she might forgive your lack and continue. But any socially savvy girl would have already eaten you up and spit you out.

She can't come to the US for like a year or two because she has no passport

that wasn't a date invitation, more testing the waters to see if she wanted to meet up. Next time I'll be more direct. I should have just said let's meet up.

But again, I think when women like you, there's no wrong way to ask them out. When women don't like you, there's no right way to ask them out. Am I wrong on this?

 

[bigdave17]

Two things:

1. Don't assume anything. It's never over until it's over in your own head.

2. Don't say stuff like 'maybe I'll take you there someday' to a woman who you've been chatting with for 6+days! Like what is she supposed to say to that? Also, I would've expected the conversation to have gone further by now. I would've said 'awesome! Let's make it happen, when are you free to travel to Chicago?' She likely would've said something like 'sounds good but we haven't even met yet or may be a little further down the road' then I would've said 'May be you're right. Why don't I come visit you first so we can meet face to face. I always wanted to see the CN Tower, we can go to Bar Chef or the Rooftop at Broadview Hotel. I think it'll be fun. What's your availability in the next week or so?'

Anyways, at this point don't say anything else for a day. If you hear nothing back for at least 24hrs (may be more) then completely change the topic 'hey, I was wondering do you like <football, ice skating, whatever>' to see if she's open to re-engaging.

Also, what's going on with the NY chick? you gotta keep her in the incubation chamber too.

I think its all over. I'm messaging her through WhatsApp and she's been on there multiple times and still hasn't responded to me

She has been very responsive and very interested in me so far. I guess she just wanted someone to talk to

I have a very irritational infatuation with her because she's the first young gorgeous girl to pay me attention. I'm sure I can find somebody that makes way more sense on a practical level (somebody who lives here and doesn't have family in Russia)

 

[guru1000]

But again, I think when women like you, there's no wrong way to ask them out. When women don't like you, there's no right way to ask them out. Am I wrong on this?

It’s relative. If you were a 9 guy pursuing a 6 girl, you can get away with much.

As a 7 guy pursuing an 8 girl, your social acuity needs to be tight.

Though, Here’s the kicker. If you were a 9 guy and invited a girl in the manner you did, she would be skeptical of your true value, as men who have their pick of the litter don’t communicate that way. Accordingly, you (implicitly) demonstrated in your invitation to her that your value is not quite there or something is off. She may not be conscious of these thoughts (or able to put her finger on it) but these (unconscious) thoughts are there which manifest in her feelings of deterrence.

 

[sazc]

saying to a woman "maybe ill xyz with you some day" is equivalent to saying either "Im a douche and want to see if you'll BEG for me to hang with you OR "hey, im uncertain if you will say yes, so I am going to put out a feeler and see if you will respond"

Either way, it can be an attraction killer.

Let's be honest, you were uncertain about her interest level and decided to fish for her level of interest, and that is why you said that.

You need to be sure and certain (or fake it till you make it)

Do what @HankHill said in his past post.

Toronto is a cold place during the winter. What about you fly up for the day, take her ice skating, out to dinner, and then for a nightcap, in front of the fire, at your hotel bar. Let her know that you will send her home in an uber that night, but make your return flight for 3pm ish in case she decides to stay over.

 

[bigdave17]

It’s relative. If you were a 9 guy pursuing a 6 girl, you can get away with much.

As a 7 guy pursuing an 8 girl, your social acuity needs to be tight.

Though, Here’s the kicker. If you were a 9 guy and invited a girl in the manner in which you did, she would be skeptical of your true value, as men who have their pick of the litter don’t communicate in that manner. Accordingly, you (implicitly) demonstrated in your invitation to her that your value is not quite there or something is off. She may not be conscious of these thoughts but they are there which manifest in her feelings of deterrence.

so just be more direct in future? say would you like to meet up this next week or whatever?,

 

[sazc]

I think its all over. I'm messaging her through WhatsApp and she's been on there multiple times and still hasn't responded to me

She has been very responsive and very interested in me so far. I guess she just wanted someone to talk to

I have a very irritational infatuation with her because she's the first young gorgeous girl to pay me attention. I'm sure I can find somebody that makes way more sense on a practical level (somebody who lives here and doesn't have family in Russia)

BACK OFF

If you've messaged her multiple times and she hasn't responded, move on and wait for her to get back to you.