What was your breaking point from nice guy to dj?

Kotaix

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Mostly zen and spiritual books. I don't remember exactly. But they are mostly the same in that they deliver the same messages.
Big second on that one.

Zen has been extremely revealing to me, I can't recommend it enough because it fosters the exact mentality you need to get out of your head and start living your life.
 

Espi

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No single breaking point that I can recall. It's never worked like that for me.

It is a constant daily struggle to kill the nice guy within. I have myself to contend with, but I get the feeling that the majority of people with whom I interact daily are outright opposed to the DJ mindset that I think-breathe-live. I do the best that I can to balance it all out and sometimes I take steps back.
 

StillSearching

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Describe? What about it was you?
Well, I'd start by saying by the 7-8 year of marriage and 3 kids in, I had become apathetic and complacent in my lifestyle. I had quit playing in rock bands and focused on pleasing my wife full time. I was never blue pill completely, but thought somehow I could change her by just not facing her disposition and sleepwalking though life. I believe it was my behavior, or lack there of, that facilitated her time and effort to employ her hypergamy and seek to satiate her desires outside the marriage. Now her childhood sexual abuse and mental conditions brought on by that, was a big factor in her lack of boundaries and narcissism. It's 1 1/2 years after our divorce she's blowing me up to get back together. She says "You're the man you used to be before we got married now".....
 

mrgoodstuff

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Well, I'd start by saying by the 7-8 year of marriage and 3 kids in, I had become apathetic and complacent in my lifestyle. I had quit playing in rock bands and focused on pleasing my wife full time. I was never blue pill completely, but thought somehow I could change her by just not facing her disposition and sleepwalking though life. I believe it was my behavior, or lack there of, that facilitated her time and effort to employ her hypergamy and seek to satiate her desires outside the marriage. Now her childhood sexual abuse and mental conditions brought on by that, was a big factor in her lack of boundaries and narcissism. It's 1 1/2 years after our divorce she's blowing me up to get back together. She says "You're the man you used to be before we got married now".....
It seems like making pleasing them a huge priority messes up the balance. It puts them over us and then they look outside. Do you think you can saddle that horse up again and get her to coooerate ( just shy of marriage )?

We can please them and make larhe efforts but it needs to be in occasional "sprinkles" like seasoning. Ya gotta put salt and pepper on occasionally too.
 

StillSearching

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It seems like making pleasing them a huge priority messes up the balance. It puts them over us and then they look outside. Do you think you can saddle that horse up again and get her to cooperate ( just shy of marriage )?

We can please them and make larhe efforts but it needs to be in occasional "sprinkles" like seasoning. Ya gotta put salt and pepper on occasionally too.
Yes. I just don't desire her anymore. I've got a better deal now.
 

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