"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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what to send mad girlfriend?

Jamesdl

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my gf is pissed. been dating for 5 years. well i did something stupid. i was angry at her, so i called her while i was drunk and said i'm f**** another chick. anyhow she started to talk to me again but says she's very frustrated. I wanted to send her something nice. was wondering if anyone have suggestions, other than flowers, or would just flowers suffice.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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vitor

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do nothing, and when things are going good in a month give her flowers out of the blue and they will mean something. Why must you buy her a gift since you messed up. Give her the gift of a good hard f ing, and being her boyfriend...
 

Fingerling

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Where/are you actually F**king anyother chick or just say it to make her mad?
 

DarthNihilus

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Follow Desdinova's old sig...

"Rewarding a woman for bad behavior is like rewarding a dog for sh!tting on your carpet."

And sure this isn't technically "bad behavior" in the sense she disrespected you but still its a state that she's in you are not cool with even if it is something that anyone could see as understandable on her part.

Never admit wrong to a woman.

NEVER.

Their brains perceive it as weakness.
 

jophil28

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DarthNihilus said:
Never admit wrong to a woman.

NEVER.

Their brains perceive it as weakness.
Thats' probably right. By admitting that you were wrong you are revealing that you are flawed or defective in some area of your character or behavior. Her fantasy of you as "the Man" is therefore damaged or at least scratched and dented. And it is a REAL scratch which she cannot ignore in the future because you admitted it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jophil28

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Jamesdl said:
my gf is pissed. been dating for 5 years. well i did something stupid. i was angry at her, so i called her while i was drunk and said i'm f**** another chick. anyhow she started to talk to me again but says she's very frustrated. I wanted to send her something nice. was wondering if anyone have suggestions, other than flowers, or would just flowers suffice.
Just ride this one out. Never send flowers as a peace offering - it is a pleading and grovelling gesture.
Send flowers only (and rarely) to reward something excellent that she has done for you.
Secondly, you need to give yourself an uppercut for getting drunk, AND give yourself another hard slap for calling her with that juvenile provocation.

You can now add 'stupid' to her perception of you.
 

Desdinova

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DarthNihilus said:
Follow Desdinova's old sig...

"Rewarding a woman for bad behavior is like rewarding a dog for sh!tting on your carpet."
That was a great sig! I'm putting it back :)

Also, I think an apology is justifiable. What you did was fvcking stupid. If she continues to act badly after the apology, give her nothing until she is actually willing to accept your apology.

There's nothing wrong with apologizing to a woman when you're actually in the wrong, and you know it. This is one of those cases.

But NEVER apologize for your manly desires, your attraction to a woman, and never use it as a quick fix to stop her from yelling at you.
 

Deadly_Ripped

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After five years of dating the same person, both peoples' fallibility is clearly established. There's no benefit to hoping to maintain an aura of perfection by never admitting you're wrong. It's juvenile to think that you shouldn't apologize for errors. By apologizing, you're showing maturity, and you're also demonstrating that you have the balls to risk her potential rejection of your apology.


If you really were ****ing some other girl, then you might as well not apologize since you were just telling the truth.

edit: Send her something more personal than flowers. Perhaps you could make something and incorporate a picture of the two of you into it as a visual reminder to her that you two are right for each other.
 

Da Realist

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Apologize once and let it go. If she is going to harp about it forever, there is nothing you can do. Sending her a gift will basically just make her say you make her feel cheap.
 

scrouds

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Flowers, chocolate and a vermont teddy bear.

Nothing gets you out of the doghouse (and out of a recession) better then good old american consumerism. Buy buy buy.

... For real now... I echo the sentiments above. Apologize when things are truly your fault, then move on. If she doesn't move on with you, then that is bad behavior. And bad behavior is not to be rewarded.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Jitterbug

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Send her a bunny and a pot. They're pretty nice and an angry woman knows exactly what to do with them.
 
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