"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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What to say when you get explicitly friendzoned?

MaddXMan

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I say "I'm looking to date, not make friends. I have enough of those. You're not feeling it, it's cool, I understand. Good luck to you."

Her: thanks for being so understanding etc.

Me: lol really, it's fine. We didn't even know each other yet anyway. (Or, we only knew each other superficially)

The last comment throws them for a loop. It tells her you haven't invested anything.

And it's true. If its only been a few dates, you can easily write her off. You may have wanted to bang her, but you really didn't know her, or her you.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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MatureDJ

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Actually, about the gal I had mentioned earlier, we used to hang out sometimes "as friends" (which really was her taking her time deciding if she wanted me), and I would tell her about women I was with. All that got her to hasten her decision as she felt she might miss out.

Now with that said, if when you are hanging around, *she* is the one trying to get picked up by other men, then don't accede to it.
 

nismo-4

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AFAIC, getting friendzoned is a rejection.

Also, when a woman gets pissed that you won'd accept the friendzone, ignore it. She's just that way because you refuse to be a beta orbiter or an emotional tampon. But you weren't gonna get any anyway, so you're still rejected. Therefore, don't give any more time or attention to her. So ordered.

BTW, Delete the number in front of her.

Case closed.
 

Lexington

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I respectfully disagree with some of you folks. Female communication tends to be covert. So attempting to overtly reason with her isn't going to help your cause. The OP was already out on a date with this girl. She stated that she "only wanted to be friends" and yet came out on the date anyway.

The best course of action would have been to just say "OK" and then continue to escalate. If the girl really isn't feeling him in a romantic/sexual way, she would rebuff his advances and end the date. Otherwise, she would be receptive. Whichever scenario plays out, you don't have any doubts as to where you stand.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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Findog said:
"You're okay with us just being friends, right? I just have a lot going on right now, I gotta figure some stuff out...


Obviously I have no interest in being her beta orbiter and will pursue other plates and stop contacting her...

What should I have said? What do you say when a girl just straight out friendzones you like this?
Well, she was being up front and honest with you, why don't you simply return the favor? No need to be butt hurt.

It's completely possible that she's searching the interwebs for varying levels of male. If she meets her "alpha" she'll open up her legs.

Every other guy gets put in the "emergency use only" friend zone.

So, unless you were trying to "pretend" to be OK with being her friend so you could sneak into her pants (which you said you weren't) why not be completely honest?

"Well, I certainly understand where you're coming from. However, I was using that particular site find somebody for a potential romantic relationship. If you're not interested in that, which I totally understand, then I guess that's that."

And then politely excuse yourself.

After all, you're looking to get laid, and she's not (at least with you) why make it so dramatic?

Thanks but no thanks, honey.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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