What to say when you get explicitly friendzoned?

[Findog]

What if you said something like, sure, I'll be your 'friend' as long as it comes with 'benefits'. Gauge her reaction. Then I would probably high tail it outa there asap.)

Or maybe "Hey, I'd never date you, you're not girlfriend material, but we should still meet up to have sex." Pretty much the guy equivalent of what she said.

 

[MaddXMan]

I say "I'm looking to date, not make friends. I have enough of those. You're not feeling it, it's cool, I understand. Good luck to you."

Her: thanks for being so understanding etc.

Me: lol really, it's fine. We didn't even know each other yet anyway. (Or, we only knew each other superficially)

The last comment throws them for a loop. It tells her you haven't invested anything.

And it's true. If its only been a few dates, you can easily write her off. You may have wanted to bang her, but you really didn't know her, or her you.

 

[MatureDJ]

Actually, about the gal I had mentioned earlier, we used to hang out sometimes "as friends" (which really was her taking her time deciding if she wanted me), and I would tell her about women I was with. All that got her to hasten her decision as she felt she might miss out.

Now with that said, if when you are hanging around, *she* is the one trying to get picked up by other men, then don't accede to it.

 

[nismo-4]

AFAIC, getting friendzoned is a rejection.

Also, when a woman gets pissed that you won'd accept the friendzone, ignore it. She's just that way because you refuse to be a beta orbiter or an emotional tampon. But you weren't gonna get any anyway, so you're still rejected. Therefore, don't give any more time or attention to her. So ordered.

BTW, Delete the number in front of her.

Case closed.

 

[Lexington]

I respectfully disagree with some of you folks. Female communication tends to be covert. So attempting to overtly reason with her isn't going to help your cause. The OP was already out on a date with this girl. She stated that she "only wanted to be friends" and yet came out on the date anyway.

The best course of action would have been to just say "OK" and then continue to escalate. If the girl really isn't feeling him in a romantic/sexual way, she would rebuff his advances and end the date. Otherwise, she would be receptive. Whichever scenario plays out, you don't have any doubts as to where you stand.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

"You're okay with us just being friends, right? I just have a lot going on right now, I gotta figure some stuff out...


Obviously I have no interest in being her beta orbiter and will pursue other plates and stop contacting her...

What should I have said? What do you say when a girl just straight out friendzones you like this?

Well, she was being up front and honest with you, why don't you simply return the favor? No need to be butt hurt.

It's completely possible that she's searching the interwebs for varying levels of male. If she meets her "alpha" she'll open up her legs.

Every other guy gets put in the "emergency use only" friend zone.

So, unless you were trying to "pretend" to be OK with being her friend so you could sneak into her pants (which you said you weren't) why not be completely honest?

"Well, I certainly understand where you're coming from. However, I was using that particular site find somebody for a potential romantic relationship. If you're not interested in that, which I totally understand, then I guess that's that."

And then politely excuse yourself.

After all, you're looking to get laid, and she's not (at least with you) why make it so dramatic?

Thanks but no thanks, honey.