"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What to do?

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Glassguy

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Get out of here. Bye. You're getting ignored. Tell 16 y.o girls your 3 week lacrosse experience 30 years ago at a party, pretty sure they'll think you're cool.
Lol. It was 4 years of Division 1 baseball. You have lots to learn. Probably the same person as Richard
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Andrewdiceclay

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She's obviously losing interest but still kind of there. Text her the day of coffee and let us know. If she flakes, not interested.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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NO.
men communicate overtly, women communicate COVERTLY. learn to speak their language.

you have to sub-communicate in the way you talk to her that you dont NEED her in your life. your life is perfectly fine without her. youre the one giving HER the opportunity to MAYBE be a part of it. thats why you need to have multiple women in the line up and a passion beyond girls. it must be clear without outright saying it that she either accepts or risks YOUR REJECTION if she declines. you arent some sex starved simp. you have better things to do.

this is why "meet me at _____ @ 7:30" works. it has more of a subtext that she is an afterthought rather than a priority

in all of your dealings with women, YOU ARE A FREIGHT TRAIN PLOWING FORWARD. they either get out of the way or are DRAGGED ALONG FOR THE RIDE
But be careful that arrogance is not sub-communicated as you may miss some women that way.
 

marmel75

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Date set 8 days out, and bad communication. No real connection.

Radio silence, with just a confirmation the day before, is very poor game. Expect her to be unenthused and likely flake.

2 quick tips from my view:

1. All women mirror. From English to Polish, to South-African, to Italian. From 20 to 30. Doesn't matter. Just seems to be a general woman thing. I've found it constant to deal with.

I don't think it's good to mirror back. If I don't reply to something in 2 hours (genuinly), and she mirrors, I don't mirror her mirror. I consider that overgaming.

2. Be a bit wary of how momentum effects your sets. Wise man once wrote:

There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. Omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries. On such a full sea are we now afloat. And we must take the current when it serves, or lose our ventures.
That's almost a guaranteed flake, IMHO
 
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