"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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What to do with this one?

HiTtc

Don Juan
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Long story short, met a girl at work before Corona (but work at different departments so hardly see each other), we texted at a lot, but never got too a date. We almost did, but then some personal shvt happened and I ruined it. We stopped texting beginning September (me hardly replying because of shot confidence) and she texted me again last Monday, because I have a broken arm and she wanted to know what happened (saw it from a distance). I was getting over her but...

I responded like nothing happened, joyful and all, but I cut it short with late replies and so on. Ofc my mind is now going haywire. She didn't contact me again, but should I? I don't know what to do anymore. It's a heavy case of oneitis, and the response of spinning plates is of no option for at least months (logistical and medical).
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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bat soup

Master Don Juan
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Try to get her to meet up instead of this text bs. When you're alone with her, make a move. If she doesn't cooperate (excuses and so on) forget her and move on.
 

Black Widow Void

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In order for me to join in and avoid responding with some lazy cliche'... you'll need to provide more specifics.

Sounds like you called off the first potential date.. is this right?
If so, how was her reaction?

You mentioned "shot confidence" but you don't explain how or why. Care to elaborate?

She reaches back out and you are short with her? Was there a reason for this reaction?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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HiTtc

Don Juan
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In order for me to join in and avoid responding with some lazy cliche'... you'll need to provide more specifics.

Sounds like you called off the first potential date.. is this right?
If so, how was her reaction?

You mentioned "shot confidence" but you don't explain how or why. Care to elaborate?

She reaches back out and you are short with her? Was there a reason for this reaction?
More elaborate story is here:


I didn’t call it off, we just never got to it because after a certain day, I lost all self esteem. Stopped texting like I use to do. She tried to reconnect afterwards, but I couldn’t anymore, even though I wanted.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
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The fact that she reached back out would serve as an indication that you had beaten yourself up more than you (so-called) "deserved."

If she was able to overlook your drunk text and later able to reach out and come back around ... it's possible that she could overlook your later avoidance of her. I say "possible" but I wouldn't get overly optimistic.

Your only option at this point seems to be ... to either drop it or give it another shot.

"Hey... I'm getting a bit stir crazy. How about you? I was thinking of going by ______ (insert place near by her area). I've been told that I'm much better company in person than over text. You should join me."
 

Medina

Master Don Juan
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I would go over to her department and try to trigger some face-to-face attraction

Down the line she might start chasing you again and you MUST then ask her out
 
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