"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What to do with this one?

HiTtc

Don Juan
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Long story short, met a girl at work before Corona (but work at different departments so hardly see each other), we texted at a lot, but never got too a date. We almost did, but then some personal shvt happened and I ruined it. We stopped texting beginning September (me hardly replying because of shot confidence) and she texted me again last Monday, because I have a broken arm and she wanted to know what happened (saw it from a distance). I was getting over her but...

I responded like nothing happened, joyful and all, but I cut it short with late replies and so on. Ofc my mind is now going haywire. She didn't contact me again, but should I? I don't know what to do anymore. It's a heavy case of oneitis, and the response of spinning plates is of no option for at least months (logistical and medical).
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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bat soup

Master Don Juan
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Try to get her to meet up instead of this text bs. When you're alone with her, make a move. If she doesn't cooperate (excuses and so on) forget her and move on.
 

Black Widow Void

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In order for me to join in and avoid responding with some lazy cliche'... you'll need to provide more specifics.

Sounds like you called off the first potential date.. is this right?
If so, how was her reaction?

You mentioned "shot confidence" but you don't explain how or why. Care to elaborate?

She reaches back out and you are short with her? Was there a reason for this reaction?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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HiTtc

Don Juan
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In order for me to join in and avoid responding with some lazy cliche'... you'll need to provide more specifics.

Sounds like you called off the first potential date.. is this right?
If so, how was her reaction?

You mentioned "shot confidence" but you don't explain how or why. Care to elaborate?

She reaches back out and you are short with her? Was there a reason for this reaction?
More elaborate story is here:


I didn’t call it off, we just never got to it because after a certain day, I lost all self esteem. Stopped texting like I use to do. She tried to reconnect afterwards, but I couldn’t anymore, even though I wanted.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
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The fact that she reached back out would serve as an indication that you had beaten yourself up more than you (so-called) "deserved."

If she was able to overlook your drunk text and later able to reach out and come back around ... it's possible that she could overlook your later avoidance of her. I say "possible" but I wouldn't get overly optimistic.

Your only option at this point seems to be ... to either drop it or give it another shot.

"Hey... I'm getting a bit stir crazy. How about you? I was thinking of going by ______ (insert place near by her area). I've been told that I'm much better company in person than over text. You should join me."
 

Medina

Master Don Juan
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I would go over to her department and try to trigger some face-to-face attraction

Down the line she might start chasing you again and you MUST then ask her out
 
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