Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Idk. Save time?Why would you ask her that upfront?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This is Bumble. She messaged first."Looking for a relationship" = anti-slut ("but yea i need to date, give a bj and ride the carousel to get there")
What was your opener to get the "Hi handsome", or did she msg you 1st?
how could you ruin your **** with viagra if you werent popular among females at all? i mean why did you take viagra if the only sex you had you had to pay for LOLThis is Bumble. She messaged first.
And I think she was being honest with wanting a relationship, not just a hookup. I talked to her more on text. She said she already went through a hookup phase and was past that.
She even said she had been with someone who had a **** implant before. Apparently, I'm not the only bionic stud out there. No!!!
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I'm just going to block you rather than waste any part of my day listening to you.how could you ruin your **** with viagra if you werent popular among females at all? i mean why did you take viagra if the only sex you had you had to pay for LOL
No, she wanted a relationship, which is something that I'm unwilling to do.She likes you. Just keep talking to her and get to know her... I'm silently rooting for you
Women will rarely tell you, hey I'm just here to svck every dck on Tinder.No, she wanted a relationship, which is something that I'm unwilling to do.
This is not SA. When you present yourself as a handsome stud, you automatically wear a black eye for being the pump-and-dump guy. And then you tell her you are looking for a hookup?? LOL.This is Bumble. She messaged first.
And I think she was being honest with wanting a relationship, not just a hookup. I talked to her more on text. She said she already went through a hookup phase and was past that.
She even said she had been with someone who had a **** implant before. Apparently, I'm not the only bionic stud out there. No!!!
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Richard does not have the capability to build a solid rapport which serves him ... yet. The more he talks, the more he will talk his way out of the date.She is attracted to her own imagination at this very early point, which is based entirely on 2 or 3 pictures taken by a professional photographer utilizing a professional understanding of lighting, doctored skin complexion (and I suspect a slightly enlarged jaw as well) and extremely scant communication that is all but 4 or 5 one-line responses.
While I am not at all against utilizing techniques that maximize an online presence, there must be some kind of congruity between the man of initial presentation and the man on the date. OLD women most particularly fish for confirmations. When he sits down to have a drink with this woman, he will not have the benefit of professional lighting or doctored skin, and he will actually have to talk to her for 15-20 minutes, at least. At some point, he is going to have to convey a personality, good or bad. Richard has confided many times that he is unable to make a conversation go anywhere. Imagine that dry, boring text string that he posted going on for 20 minutes.... in real time. That will be enough to shatter any implied strengths he may be conveying right now.
My advice is only that he would do well to practice conveying some personality and establishing some kind of social/sexual bond before securing the date, at least for the time being. A woman who feels any such bond has developed will be a little more forgiving upon noticing the inevitable discrepancies that will undoubtingly arise between the OLD Richard and Richard IRL, will be less likely to flake and will help the date go smoother for him if he can achieve that.
But again, just my opinion. If he wants to go straight for the date, so be it.
if that's the case, this is extremely encouraging as I'm much much better looking than you are
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.