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What to do when your girlfriend starts losing interest in you?

Focal core

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I‘d worry about this more than any breakup.

Not to play life coach, but if you paying rent at 40 years old with your girlfriend’s name on the lease, you got bigger problems than her telling you to go to hell. At 40, a man should at least own a house or condo, if not 2 or 3. What have you been doing all these years with your money?

A man should not move in with his girlfriend unless he has major assets and he is hiding them or something. There should be no moving in together period. Yet if a man is desperately in love with her, she should move in to his place.

I do ok and I’m still constantly worried about money. Don’t know how you guys can rent at 40.
Theres a lot of people wanted a free financial committed in life.. Its a financial freedom for some, my opinion theres nothing wrong in renting, a lot of people own few hohses are constantly worried about their life, income and such, many have to letgo their assets due to life changing, pandemic for instance, it doesnt makes you a better person own several assets. Unless you had so much money that you have no idea channeling.
 

manfrombelow

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Guys the relationship is definitely over. I havent said anything to her yet except asked her if everything is alright and she said yes. The past few days she has been in the bathroom for like 30 minutes at a time and whenever I go into a room she has been texting and stops texting when I come in. The hardest part now is gonna be to find a place, move me and my son out and now dealing with the fact that I will have no help from anybody to help take care of my son.
Man I'm really really sorry to hear this.
 

Focal core

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Guys the relationship is definitely over. I havent said anything to her yet except asked her if everything is alright and she said yes. The past few days she has been in the bathroom for like 30 minutes at a time and whenever I go into a room she has been texting and stops texting when I come in. The hardest part now is gonna be to find a place, move me and my son out and now dealing with the fact that I will have no help from anybody to help take care of my son.
Come on man, get a daycare service, how hard can it be? Get help from social services, get a really cheap apartment asap..get a fast cash loan, whatever! Leave!! She will be back on your feet once her rs with that guy is over.. By thag time kick her ass out of your sight.
 

metalwater

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That's the problem with SS these days.
it's a delicate balance between support, motivation, and instruction. sometimes ppl see motivation as the key when it might be instruction or support needed. or it might really be motivation that is needed. it's a decent system with multiple actors so that not much gets missed.
 

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ThisIsSparta

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Guys I have a major problem in all of this. Me and her live together and I have a 7 year old son. She takes great care of him and I dont know how I would work and have time cook, to pick him up from school etc. If I dump her then how would I find a new place to live so fast? I have all of my stuff and my sons stuff here.
ANY family that could help out?
 

Lookatu

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OP, Look at father's groups too in your area for another resource if family/friend's aren't available to help.

With guys getting bent over with divorces/child custody, there's been an influx of these father's groups everywhere.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and she is starting to act like she doesnt care what I do anymore. She doesnt do the the caring things for me anymore either. She is starting to become aloof and she doesnt want sex much either. I can tell the interest is dropping big time. Is there anything I can do to get her interest back in me?
Back off, become a challenge and be more busy with other things.
 

Pan87

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The Preemptive Breakup

He's going to get dumped--guaranteed. He's panicking and trying to rapidly increase IL. Getting all sorts of advice about mystery dates, etc. That stuff works in a healthy and/or new relationship but when the woman is losing interest, the ONLY thing you can do is hit the eject button before she dumps you. This way, it's (usually) a shock and awe move that can really pique her interest. BUT, you need to have pair of brass balls and stick to it. Here's where 99% of all men are too chicken s*it to do it. He needs to talk with her and say, "Hey Sally, damn this is hard, but this just isn't working for me anymore. I think you're an awesome person but I need some time to process how a LTR will fit into my life right now. It's not fair to you that I'm not in this 100%. I need some time to process. I hope you understand." I've done this a few times and had the girl blowing up my phone and doing an about face.

Then, stick to what you said for at least 60-90 days. Chances are you'll meet someone new and/or lose attraction for Sally by then. NO CONTACT IS ALLOWED. Got it? She may not give a s*it, but maybe her hamster will spin too. Either way, you don't care. If after 60-90 days, you want to have a chill date, do it, and it's like hitting the reset button--but SHE must reach out, not you, no matter what. Don't be a p*ssy. Got it?

At least this way you preserve you dignity, manhood, and pride, and know you're the one who ended it, which from a psychological perspective, will help your confidence as you find someone who is a better fit.

BUT, my guess is OP will read this and not do it. 99% don't. So for the guys that asked, there you go. Employ the Preemptive Breakup when you sense it coming and take back your power and dignity.

Be well.

~Dash~
Sage advice. Very hard implement. If you're attached to a girl and you "love" her then you have no chance of being able to implement this.

If a girl has lost interest once, she will lose it again even after a reset. It might take years, but she never forgets the time when she was unattracted to you. The relationship is in permanent jeopardy forever. It's just not worth investing in and you should never forgive a girl who has started putting the break-up wheels in motion.
 

captain55

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Do you want us to tell you what you want to hear or do you want the truth?

Having a girlfriend and committing to one woman isn't natural. When things stop being natural the vibe changes and the girl loses interest. I guarantee if you went out and ****ed a few hot chicks it would spice things up and probably save the relationship. Her respect for you would go up and she would start trying to validate herself. I am saying this to genuinely help you, if you love this woman and you want to keep her you will listen to me. I am not saying it will happen, but if some ****y player comes along and charms your girl you may be in trouble.

Take it from a guy that just had his girlfriend **** his brains out when she caught him out on a date with a bad ***** a few weeks ago. Yes read that correctly. Women don't leave men for cheating (if the girl is hot) but they do leave men who they lose respect for. And I have been in your shoes as well, had women with high interest level pursue me and chase me only to lose interest the moment I started committing. When you truly commit and stop gaming other women, you inevitably lose the abundance mindset. That is why you NEVER stop talking to other women. Dont gotta cheat, but if you see a hot chick in a coffee shop flirt! Chat her up!

Always remember this man, what women say they want and what they really want are not the same. They think they want a man that is loyal that treats them well, but they all want a bad boy that can replace them on a dimes notice. Women want to have fun. Keep things light, start chatting up some new girls. Even if you don't bang them, the mere act of going out and interacting with hot women will get your abundance mindset back and your gf will notice it. It is important for your girl to realize your a high value man with options, and if she wants to keep you she needs to not take you forgratned and meet your sexual needs.

****ing broads these days, American women are so entitled. If you were dating a foreign chick your situation may be different they tend to be more loyal.

Hope this helps brother
 
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Pan87

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Do you want us to tell you what you want to hear or do you want the truth?

Having a girlfriend and committing to one woman isn't natural. When things stop being natural the vibe changes and the girl loses interest. I guarantee if you went out and ****ed a few hot chicks it would spice things up and probably save the relationship. Her respect for you would go up and she would start trying to validate herself. I am saying this to genuinely help you, if you love this woman and you want to keep her you will listen to me. I am not saying it will happen, but if some ****y player comes along and charms your girl you may be in trouble.

Take it from a guy that just had his girlfriend **** his brains out when she caught him out on a date with a bad ***** a few weeks ago. Yes read that correctly. Women don't leave men for cheating (if the girl is hot) but they do leave men who they lose respect for. And I have been in your shoes as well, had women with high interest level pursue me and chase me only to lose interest the moment I started committing. When you truly commit and stop gaming other women, you inevitably lose the abundance mindset. That is why you NEVER stop talking to other women. Dont gotta cheat, but if you see a hot chick in a coffee shop flirt! Chat her up!

Always remember this man, what women say they want and what they really want are not the same. They think they want a man that is loyal that treats them well, but they all want a bad boy that can replace them on a dimes notice. Women want to have fun. Keep things light, start chatting up some new girls. Even if you don't bang them, the mere act of going out and interacting with hot women will get your abundance mindset back and your gf will notice it. It is important for your girl to realize your a high value man with options, and if she wants to keep you she needs to not take you forgratned and meet your sexual needs.

****ing broads these days, American women are so entitled. If you were dating a foreign chick your situation may be different they tend to be more loyal.

Hope this helps brother
The problem with cheating is the lying. Women lose respect for guys who lie - this only applies if you've explicitly told her you're in a monogamous relationship.

I've been caught cheating and it's true that they do fvck your brains out. But she also stops trusting anything you say, which leads to a very dangerous drop in respect after the dust settles.

The best way to manage cheating is for her to suspect you're cheating, but not actually have any evidence. If you're banging other chicks it will effect your vibe, and she will sense it. Then she'll have dread and start validating herself to you. But if she ever gets clear evidence that you've banged another chick then your relationship will become high drama and toxic.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Max,
A difficult situation,particularly for your Sons welfare...Give her a little credit for giving him a home,at least you are getting some svex,reflect that many Guys who consider themselves in a stable relationship are getting less ...At this stage do nothing rash,being so dependent on her you cannot afford that luxury,get your Employmant situation stabilized as first priority...In life you sometimes have to bide your time....Plenty of time to consider your options from a stronger position after you have a cash flow.
 
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HaleyBaron

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Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and she is starting to act like she doesnt care what I do anymore. She doesnt do the the caring things for me anymore either. She is starting to become aloof and she doesnt want sex much either. I can tell the interest is dropping big time. Is there anything I can do to get her interest back in me?
If I had a dime for everytime I heard this same story...

There's many ways to approach this, but I am going to assume that you have little self value and validate your existence on her being there. So that takes out the answer of "you shouldn't care what she thinks in the first place." Since you're a needy person, not to offend you, that means the solution you want is something that will magically make her into a loving caring girlfriend again. A magic button that will make all your problems go away. I can tell you to go get a magic genie and wish her back to that state. Or to hypnotize her and make her wear naked aprons while cooking the best dinner you ever had for the rest of your life. So many solutions that would fit the mold.

Or I can tell you my answer: you're going to have to swallow a hard pill. You likely know the answer yourself and came here to see if you could get away from it. But you can't. She isn't into you anymore. That's the truth. Be ready to pack it up one way or another. That or take a long vacation from her. Nothing rekindles a relationship more than a break apart.
 

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HaleyBaron

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Man, this is the truth.

This will always be the answer to 'my girl is losing interest. What do I do?'
Im surprised this forum doesn't have a FAQ section for this kind of stuff.
 

dark god

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Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and she is starting to act like she doesnt care what I do anymore. She doesnt do the the caring things for me anymore either. She is starting to become aloof and she doesnt want sex much either. I can tell the interest is dropping big time. Is there anything I can do to get her interest back in me?
**** her sister
 

dude99

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Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and she is starting to act like she doesnt care what I do anymore. She doesnt do the the caring things for me anymore either. She is starting to become aloof and she doesnt want sex much either. I can tell the interest is dropping big time. Is there anything I can do to get her interest back in me?
Dump her.

You can't make someone care. You can't negotiate desire. You can't make someone "love you." They either willing do it or they don't. Trying to negotiate it will only end up with you being with a fake person or being in a fake relationship.

If they no longer care, you cut bait walk away and go date other people.
 
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