She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
"yeeessssss biiiiiitch" and make a hand motion signalling as if it were something that everyone knewwe all eat food said:
C/F Answer (if the friend is a girl): "Why, do you?"Moofahsa said:
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
reply with a yes I like her, and here is a message for her. Then you take girl b, kiss her and at the same time cop a quick feel.we all eat food said:
I agree wholeheartedly. But before the crackdown begins, I have a question.lebRambo said:
It depends. Which phase is the moon in when she asks and where is Pen in her cycle? Taking that ratio to the number of songs that the third runner up of American Idol sang on the second Tuesday month that McDonald's sells the most french fries.Giovanni Casanova said:
"it depends"
"Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
hahahah...awesome.Francisco d'Anconia said:
dude, thats so flying spaghetti monsterlebRambo said:hahahah...awesome.
That reminds me of that thing about 'talk like a pirate day'. There is this day of the year called Talk like a Pirate day, and the idea is to stop global warming by talking like a pirate. There is an inverse relationship between the number of pirates in the world and global warming. More pirates = less global warming
I thought that was hilarious