I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That, and girls can smell attitudes like yours, That_Guy49, from a mile away. Even if you don't realize you're doing it, having a mindset like "What do I not have that they do" makes your body language tell girls, "I am easily frustrated and I get down on myself quickly."Originally posted by assassin
I'm assuming this is at school. You probably just haven't built up a big enough DJ reputation with the chicks yet. Just keep being the DJ you are and give it time.
Not necessarily true. I've had that attitude before and still had girls talk to me without me initiating anything. It doesn't happen all the time, but I still get HB7-9's initiating conversation sometimes. Only problem is I didn't do anything about it. Maybe you should try initiating conversation in the classroom, you have nothing to lose everything to gain. Also, I've noticed, many girls won't start saying hi to you even if they were the ones to initiate the conversation until you say Hi to them first. They will afterwards though.That, and girls can smell attitudes like yours, That_Guy49, from a mile away. Even if you don't realize you're doing it, having a mindset like "What do I not have that they do" makes your body language tell girls, "I am easily frustrated and I get down on myself quickly."
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I had the same experience, too, but those "HB7-9s" are generally the outgoing, peppy type who talk to everyone anyway (my girlfriend's one of them).Originally posted by wootapotky
Not necessarily true. I've had that attitude before and still had girls talk to me without me initiating anything. It doesn't happen all the time, but I still get HB7-9's initiating conversation sometimes. Only problem is I didn't do anything about it.