"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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What the hell is this girl thinking?

jaybeezi

Don Juan
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This girl is confusing as hell, and I dont know what she wants.

I talked to her a few times at work (we work different shifts)
and asked her out to a club (bad move, but she wanted to go there) So she asked for my #, I gave it to her, she calls me 2 days later, we talk for an hour.

We go out that night. She doesnt seem that interested, so i'm like, whatever. I called her about 4 days later, we talked for a few minutes and she said she would call me back because she was busy.

She called me back, and told me she was moving 2 hours away.
She just decided to move back home, (when I first talked to her she said she was "thinking" about moving in a month or two, but wasnt sure) then she said, well actually i'm already here. I was pretty surprised and wasnt sure what to say. So I said

me: well that sucks, for me anyway.
her: why?
me: because I was looking forward to seeing you more.
her sister: can she call you back.
She didnt.
So, I figured she was not at all interested and moved on, then she called me a week later, just to talk, she was just wondering what I was doing. The way she was talking about things made it seem like she was still here. We talked for about 30 min. Then she called me again the next night, but I wasnt home.

What does she want. She didnt seem interested, and she moved(supposedly), so why does she keep calling me? She keeps going back and forth with her IL, so I have no clue.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Joined
Nov 6, 2003
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Wisconsin. USA
Don't talk to girls on the phone - see her in person and only for romantic purposes!!!

Did you notice how ineffective the phone was in gauging interest and receiving a response, due to interruptions and 'call backs'? She left your wooing advances in indefinite limbo!!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Genghis Juan

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 13, 2003
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Location
Boston, MA
You put too much effort in talking to her on the phone, and too little in getting together with her.

If you spend too much time on the phone, you are giving her "friendship" vibes.

Call her back and ask her out, and see what happens. Don't take her to a club, take her to a good quite action date, like bowling or a muesuem.
 
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