"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What role do YOU play nowadays for women ? Provider, protector, performer or puppet?

Gamisch

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Forget about love. You are either a provider, protector, performer or a puppet.

On a deeper level especially the performer and puppet are " new" in his space but yet those roles are as old as the sun and earth themselves.

I believe women look for men to fulfill one or more of those roles. Are you aware of your role, do you play accordingly and does it lead to "success" for you?

Let's discuss
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Mike32ct

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I full agree that women often keep different men around for different roles.

I’m mostly a friend or brother to women these days. Puppet is maybe the closest one. I’m a very good listener and capable of conversing with them on almost any topic.

Women’s laughter is often tied to attraction. So while my guy friends love my humor, those same jokes don’t land as often with my female friends. So I ruled out performer/entertainer.
 
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Gamisch

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That is giant horse crap.



I am good at that as well. I don't do that unless she's letting me slam her pussie.
Why is it horse crap if HE knows that's his " function"? Especially if it DOES work for him?

Or do you mean that being a friend/ brother isn't the best position to take? (The latter makes sense by the way)
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Gamisch

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That is giant horse crap.



I am good at that as well. I don't do that unless she's letting me slam her pussie.
And what do you think about the puppet and performer roles? Imo those are rarely talked about in these spaces.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don't play any role. I am who I am, they can either choose to be with me or choose not to and I don't care either way.

I know where I want to go, if they want to come along for the ride they can as long as they don't become a hinderance to me.

If they are supportive that's even better...

My current girlfriend has been ride or die since Day one almost and it's extremely hard to find that these days.
 

Mike32ct

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Why is it horse crap if HE knows that's his " function"? Especially if it DOES work for him?

Or do you mean that being a friend/ brother isn't the best position to take? (The latter makes sense by the way)
Yeah it’s my current situation. It’s not ideal, but it works at the moment. I don’t mind being friends with women, and I don’t hit on the ones that I know see me that way. The introvert in me enjoys one on one conversations.

Breaking the long dry spell with somebody new (ie with a clean slate) outside that circle is the challenge right now lol.

I totally understand SW’s point though.

Anyway, I don’t SEEK to play a role. Just being honest about my current perceived role.
 

BadBoy89

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Anything less than a lover and a woman is using the man.

Next time you are with a woman, ask yourself “Would. a King be like this with her?” If not, change your behavior.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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justaroundthecorner

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Forget about love. You are either a provider, protector, performer or a puppet.

On a deeper level especially the performer and puppet are " new" in his space but yet those roles are as old as the sun and earth themselves.

I believe women look for men to fulfill one or more of those roles. Are you aware of your role, do you play accordingly and does it lead to "success" for you?

Let's discuss
Mostly protector and to some extent provider, as husband and father.
 

Gamisch

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Is performer a sexual performer?
That's a good one and I actually do think you are right.

I geuss the performer is the artist, the rockstar, in he eyes, the type of man who "gets her to do things outside of her box".

The puppet might be the safety blanket, the friend who is there for her . Obviously all forms contain some form of mutual attraction.
 

BeExcellent

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Hmmm. In this context my husband would be a performer and protector.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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MatureDJ

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Anything less than a lover and a woman is using the man.

Next time you are with a woman, ask yourself “Would. a King be like this with her?” If not, change your behavior.
It's OVER for PeasantCels.
 

Gamisch

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Oke let's evaluate the results.

Nobody is a performer and ESPECIALLY zero puppets. Surprise Surprise. No man will admit he is a puppet while arguably most of us been a puppet most of the time..yes indeed : rather an image of who SHE want you to be , and the power of p00sy actually made you do exactly what SHE wanted you to do like a good little puppet.

Ofcourse you can be a combination of certain things, but tbh most men are viewed as puppets and performers. You only become a provider and protector after you are heavily invested. The irony is that we as men gotta " earn " to provide and protect...we gotta " earn the privilege " of being willing to risk our physical financial and mental health to be with Miss little princess..

I geuss that 85% of the women I dated viewed me as a puppet / performer; I played a role that she wanted me to play at that point in her life, and when she needed something else or grew out of it she was poof gone. And while she was around me I kept feeling the disconnect from the fact that she actually has no idea who I REALLY am, and she also doesn't care. Simultaneously I might not given a F because I just wanted to feck.
 
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SW15

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The typical married man in the United States is a provider. He's a beta male whose primary utility to his woman is additional revenue into the household. In a lot of cases, the married woman is also working a job.

A married man might not have started out as a provider. There's a process that happens in long-term relationships called "beta-ization". Men often become more and more beta as time passes in relationships. This is a part of the idea that I'm most known for promoting on SoSuave, which is the idea that relationships enter a decay phase around the 3-5 year point in time. It's possible that a married man initially attracted a woman on the basis of being either a protector or performer.

Beta males fall into the provider and puppet roles most commonly.

I desire to be a sexual performer. I want to be around for my sex appeal. In this framework, I position myself to women as a performer.
 

Doctor Europeo

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Next time you are with a woman, ask yourself “Would. a King be like this with her?” If not, change your behavior.
Mmmmhhhhh......Now that you mention it, my woman actually calls me "Your Majesty" with a very specific tone of voice from time to time. Specifically when Im doing whatever the f0ck I want (which is possibly quite often). Might be some sort of test? I just laugh it off; Agree & Amplify. I keep getting laid whenever I want so Im assuming Im passing all sorts of tests. Im interested in @BeExcellent ´s perspective on this "Your Majesty" thing.

Forget about love. You are either a provider, protector, performer or a puppet.
Im the provider and protector (and some sort of King, apparently). Women should the be the performer/puppet to keep things balanced.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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