What makes you cool?

[iqqi]

This is really a question, not some how to thread.

First and foremost, I am a girl, for the newbies.
And please ignore or report any flaming posts that will inevitably be made by those who fear and oppose my gender.

Recently I have noticed an alarming trend among the young fellas who hit on me. They use gimmicks. I'm talking corny sh!t that they saw on Mr. Mystery's BS show way back when. Literally a guy tried to do some fortune telling trick or something the other night, by grabbing my hand and who knows what the hell he was saying because we were at a club, the music was loud, I was drunk and basically didn't give a crap about some hand magic BS. And I notice a lot of guys on this site also hang onto the gimmicks they learn here, without the deeper lessons that you can find on this thread.

Honestly the best advice you were ever given in life was from your mama, who said "be yourself."

But... you want to be your best self.

You want to be natural in your abilities to attract people and make them want to be around you.

You will never be natural if your body language and everything else is unnatural, due to the fact that you are pretending to be some way you are not.

The solution to this, is to figure out what you are passionate about. What are you great at? What makes you interesting? Passion and knowledge are two very sexy things about a man, and if you can direct this correctly and immerse it into something social, then you will find yourself attracting more people. You will have more to talk about, that you actually care about, and will find yourself talking about it with people who care about the same thing... or care about YOU because you are so freaking interesting all of a sudden.

SO. Let's make this thread interactive.

What makes you cool, little grasshoppers?

 

[xdreamz]

i honestly don't know why i'm cool or why people are attracted to me. i just sit around maybe smoke some weed and i do a little art here and there. i like to party. that's pretty much it. i connect with people because of the music i listen to or art which I guess you can say i'm passionate about. i'm good at making impossible things or things that look impossible turn possible. i guess you can say i'm fairly good with people and communication. i use to use little gimmicks and they're just that...gimmicks! something to get a quick little thrill off of but certainly shouldn't be your main thing to get a girl.

 

[iqqi]

i honestly don't know why i'm cool or why people are attracted to me. i just sit around maybe smoke some weed and i do a little art here and there. i like to party. that's pretty much it. i connect with people because of the music i listen to or art which I guess you can say i'm passionate about. i'm good at making impossible things or things that look impossible turn possible. i guess you can say i'm fairly good with people and communication. i use to use little gimmicks and they're just that...gimmicks! something to get a quick little thrill off of but certainly shouldn't be your main thing to get a girl.

That is pretty fvcking cool.

I think that would mean that you are an outside of the box thinker, creative, and not afraid of failure so you are willing to try when others would give up. I can see how people would love that attribute about you. They'd see you as "adventurous."

 

[Bible_Belt]

The solution to this, is to figure out what you are passionate about. What are you great at? What makes you interesting? Passion and knowledge are two very sexy things about a man, and if you can direct this correctly and immerse it into something social, then you will find yourself attracting more people. You will have more to talk about, that you actually care about, and will find yourself talking about it with people who care about the same thing... or care about YOU because you are so freaking interesting all of a sudden.


I agree, good advice.

 

[iqqi]

Thanks, BB. Just trying to give back to the community and whatnot.



Also, I might not be around much too respond to the cool cats in this thread, so could you do the honors? See you cats in a few days.

 

[Don Israel]

This is really a question, not some how to thread.

Literally a guy tried to do some fortune telling trick or something the other night, by grabbing my hand and who knows what the hell he was saying because we were at a club, the music was loud, I was drunk and basically didn't give a crap about some hand magic BS.

The thing with this dude is that, other than the fact that he's a beginner, he probably is a somewhat cool guy. He simply is using a technique that is starting him off in finding what he desires. (women, date...whatever).

Must have been real funny listening to him given the fact that your familiar with the community and knew his intent. So one of the keys to coolness ,in part, is in unpredictability of the conversation's incoming content + enhancing the ongoing discussion through ways such as humour, stories, news etc.

Honestly the best advice you were ever given in life was from your mama, who said "be yourself."

We can all agree to that, however momma never told us to be/or main being cool though, and that's we all do( and need to do to advance in this life ) unless it's natural to us.

Passion and knowledge are two very sexy things about a man, and if you can direct this correctly and immerse it into something social, then you will find yourself attracting more people.

True, a man without passion isn't much of a man. However, one cannot attract people in general by simply having those two qualities.

One has to convey, in my experience, WHAT his knowledge can do in the real world = and that means interacting in a different way (coolness). Does your knowledge help you get a job? Maybe, in part... but for the most part ,NO. Does knowledge CONVINCE the girl your with (or trying to get) that you are a "secure-minded" man with a good head upon his shoulders ? NO

The answer to the equation is in working on your "coolness".

Coolness, is basically the "Way", that you convey: dominance, fun, playfullness, yadayada



.

 

[DonJuanit0]

What makes me cool to others... That's a nice thread here and certainly a way to discover yourself a bit!

Well, I know that most of the people thinks I'm cool cause of: Being a good listener and always have a descent advice to give (or they think it is), I would do almost everything about my friends but without that makes me feel akward/bad/not good with my self, so they know that I have limits that they shouldn't trespass (which makes me look cool to guys/females that gets to meet me and my company, when they figure this out), I can make everyone laugh to tears so that's a plus too and in the end, my reputation does all the work for me at least in my area! Many people that I don't even know, knows me and have some good/bad things to say about me so they think I'm kinda an interesting person to meet with and find out what's the deal wih me!

Hope that's what this thread is asking for and didn't say w/e here!

DonJuanit0 out!

 

[Credos]

I invent drinking games, which people write about (Long story... Everybody in our bar seems to play it! (only once, nobody goes for seconds cause its to hard... The day after you played it that is... I myself ended up in the toilet and falling asleep there, after I trew up everybody except in the toilet, the manager was pretty pissed about that)).
I don't give a sh*t...

More or less I'm like a dog chasing a car. There is no explainable reason why I do the things I do... I just do...
...
...
...
Seems to work for me

 

[moneyisking]

hey little sis, although I hate when females give advices to men, I'll consider making exception about this one. You're right, I agree with you that everything must be natural. I read so much sh!t and tried so much but in the end, I realized that it's not at all about what you say, what techniques you use. Nope, it's about the inside. So in that sense, you're hitting the right spot. Being genuinely happy and feeling great and confident will 100% win over any girls over seduction techniques. After all, if you feel great and confident, whatever you do is going to be seductive (naturally). Good point you brought up. BTW, I think "mama's" advices are one of those things that screw men over these days, so I got to say fathers would say "be yourself" not mothers.

 

[Dante420]

Dante - 17 years old


Yes I would like to admit that I am guilty of using the hand grabbing fortune telling gimmick. There's a time and a place for it,

The time never, the place - you decide.

Just playing there's a time for it

 

[Dannyrt34]

Good question.

I like to think of myself as an adventurous person who has interesting stories to tell. When I notice my life becoming a straight road through the great plains. I get off my arse and go do something. I've tried skydiving once and it was the greatest experience of my life. I often go rock-climbing and hiking. I realize this has nothing to do with girls, but that's what I'm happy about. That's what I would like to think makes me a cool person.

 

[old married dude]

Let's see...

I consider myself to be stylish.
I know how to stand out.
I can hold a conversation well on most topics.
I'm well-traveled and cultured.
There's more, but it's late & my brain is shutting down.

 

[WC2]

The solution to this, is to figure out what you are passionate about. What are you great at? What makes you interesting? Passion and knowledge are two very sexy things about a man, and if you can direct this correctly and immerse it into something social, then you will find yourself attracting more people. You will have more to talk about, that you actually care about, and will find yourself talking about it with people who care about the same thing... or care about YOU because you are so freaking interesting all of a sudden.

Yes. Yes. And Yes.

 

[DonJuan11]

Recently I have noticed an alarming trend among the young fellas who hit on me.

Rock on!

They use gimmicks. I'm talking corny sh!t that they saw on Mr. Mystery's BS show way back when. Literally a guy tried to do some fortune telling trick or something the other night, by grabbing my hand and who knows what the hell he was saying because we were at a club, the music was loud, I was drunk and basically didn't give a crap about some hand magic BS. And I notice a lot of guys on this site also hang onto the gimmicks they learn here, without the deeper lessons that you can find on this thread.

You are at a club at 11:00 pm on a Saturday night, music blaring, most people are drunk and horny, and you were expecting any guy to hit on you to have George Clooney charm in his pocket? Come on girl. Most guys are at a club for you to go home with them and give them sex and whatever BS they have to pull to get into your pants, they will.



Honestly the best advice you were ever given in life was from your mama, who said "be yourself."

But... you want to be your best self.

You want to be natural in your abilities to attract people and make them want to be around you.

You will never be natural if your body language and everything else is unnatural, due to the fact that you are pretending to be some way you are not.

All true, but must be specific and adapted to the environment. If you want to buy a TRUMP Penthouse and need a loan from the bank, you better have a Rolex and dress in an Armani suit before you see them. If you want to have sex fast, you pull out whatever you can to do it.

The solution to this, is to figure out what you are passionate about. What are you great at? What makes you interesting? Passion and knowledge are two very sexy things about a man, and if you can direct this correctly and immerse it into something social, then you will find yourself attracting more people. You will have more to talk about, that you actually care about, and will find yourself talking about it with people who care about the same thing... or care about YOU because you are so freaking interesting all of a sudden.

True and thought provoking, still doesn't mean the girl will give him sex. It's all about FEELINGS and EMOTIONS with girls. You can me the MOST passionate and interesting guy in the world, if you can't get to her emotions, you are done and done.

 

[The Piano Master]

Nothing promises sex, bro. You gotta work harder if you want it.

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

I'll be the first to admit I'm not cool.

I think I throw off good vibes and have been told several times I have a good aura so I do get by by not being cool (IOW, I can have positive interactions with people that will bring them back.)

I think I KNOW how to be cool. I'm very socialy tuned (i.e., very good at reading the situation.)

I just don't care to put the effort into being cool for two reasons:
1: I have a very strong personality and cannot force myself to do things just because they are cool (I am MY OWN person and follow no one.)
2: I am very focused on success. Face it, once you have 7 or 8 figures in the bank you can virtually set the trends and dictate what's cool. I am more worried about acheiving this success than "being cool."

I myself am sometimes awed by how cool some people are. Others I'm disgusted by because they are trying so hard to be cool. The sad thing is alot of times the people who try so hard to be cool actually have a group of people who do think they are cool.

 

[The Comeback Kid]

Good post. Gets you thinking positively about yourself, which in turn boosts your confidence.

As for me, I feel I do some pretty cool things, but am not sure how cool they are "socially" with girls. Over the summer, I held an internship with a professional sports team. At school, I am one of the directors for our sports radio station - I host two shows and call the basketball games.

Personality-wise, I feel I'm good at starting conversations and keeping conversations going. People have also said I'm very witty. While I'm socially tuned, I still have things I need to improve on. I'm not the most daring person and I get the feeling I'm seen as predictable. No matter what I try, I also can't establish a core of close friends here at college like I have at home

Regardless (to keep this a pro-confidence post lol), I feel I present myself well. I take the high road on a lot of things and don't let my emotions show when I'm upset. I have a friend here at school who does better socially than me, but people are also afraid of his instability - he'll either be doing great or he's a train wreck. I prefer the consistency.

 

[synergy1]

Using mystery's lines word for word is kind of stupid, but a few of the ways of approaching ( talking to friends etc) really help a lot. Part of it is using your own stuff, which is what he says anyway. Sad is the day someone gets called out on it!

As for the original topic at hand, its hard to know what makes you cool through someone's eyes. I am fairly knowledgeable so I can pretty much talk to them about anything, sports, the real world, women. Its key to relate to people to keep a conversation going, and the more you know the easier this is. Most importantly, I know how to have a good time when I go out and everyone around me seems to do the same.

If I had to say one cool thing about me, its the value I place in my boys and enjoying time when we go out.

 

[nismo-4]

Using mystery's lines word for word is kind of stupid, but a few of the ways of approaching ( talking to friends etc) really help a lot. Part of it is using your own stuff, which is what he says anyway. Sad is the day someone gets called out on it!

As for the original topic at hand, its hard to know what makes you cool through someone's eyes. I am fairly knowledgeable so I can pretty much talk to them about anything, sports, the real world, women. Its key to relate to people to keep a conversation going, and the more you know the easier this is. Most importantly, I know how to have a good time when I go out and everyone around me seems to do the same.

If I had to say one cool thing about me, its the value I place in my boys and enjoying time when we go out.

Mystery has $$$$$$, first of all.

Second off, they didn't show all of the rejections that he got.

Third, that stuff could have been staged.

Fourth, women could have easily been part of the viewers bracket for that show. Now they know our tricks to a higher degree.

Alas, you must tap into the girls emotions. Give her a mental orgasm.

I am not the trendiest or richest guy in the group of fellas I hang with, but I make approaches and hope to get lucky.

They say that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

 

[Warrior74]

Listen IQQI. Your a woman, so you already know. The first time you walked in heels, how did that look? And the 100th time?

So these guys hitting on you are on their first day in heels so to speak. They are on the road to becoming their best selves. How do you get to Carnegie hall? Exactly.

You can have passion all day for say, computers...that still doesn't help you carry on a conversation when your afraid to talk to girls. Practice does. Don't knock practice.

If you have sh!tty body language, how is gonna get better? Practice until it becomes normal. If you have sh!tty convo skills, how does it get better? Practice.

Mama's advice was bullsh!t. (well not completely, but it sent the wrong message) The key to learning any skill is practice, that's how you get to be your best at it. Even Mozart had to practice. Slash had to practice, Don Juan practiced on tons of women until he got better. You practice, fail, learn and practice some more until it becomes second nature.

I understand what your saying though. Passion can help remove the self monitoring that brings on nervousness. But if I guy walks hunched over with poor eye contact and a stammer...he can be passionate all day, and still walk and talk like that. He has to make an effort to fix those things first and then his passion will shine through even greater.