"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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What is this?

regular_guy

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I met this girl through a salsa class. Went out dancing twice, I never knew how she felt about me. I did not find her looks attractive at first, but when I danced and talked to her, she totally tuned me on. Now I find this girl sexy, I tried to play it kewl, avoiding boring topics when we went out for coffee. I think I told her way too much on the first meet. But I never even done that in my life (so I feel proud). During the second dance outing, I told her to get out of the car as I did not know how to go about kissing her, I got uncomfortable and pussied out. I called her after that incident and apologized, she said its okay. I see her attraction for me leading more and more into the friends zone now. My pussines basically messed things up, because I did not take action. What should I do? How can I be friends with someone I fancy? She actually called me to chit-chat, and I did not call her back, did not want to fall for her. I am trying to get laid without having a relationship? Wtf? Sounds like an ego trip. I would like to know if there is anything there or was there, or should I just forget about her and move on. Only thing is that I see her occasionally at a salsa class. Last time I spoke to her, I was a mumbling idiot. She seemed disappointed. She is 4 years older than me, I am 24.

Cheers

Edit: also I think about her more than I would like to. But I have not told her any of this.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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If you want to get her back, you should lay off of her for a while, like try not looking at her in a sexual way, and after a while try going after her again. And this time don't pvssy out :)
 

regular_guy

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Well the last time I saw her, again I was a mumbling idiot. I actually signed up for a public speaking club “Toastmaters” to work on my communication. It’s great how much other skills I need to be good with the ladies and these skills can be applied to everything else too.

Any who, so I should treat her as a friend now? Because that seems very counter- intuitive to me. I was thinking of calling her and just saying hello and how she is doing, following her or my salsa class (we are in different classes now). I think this may be she may be a lost cause, I am thinking of going after other girls in the other salsa class. Try some flirting, fun, etc.
 

War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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Not really treat her as a friend, just don't pursue her as hard as you did before. Do a lot of anticipating, which is taking 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Like hold hands, then kino her a lot, then go back to just holding hands, and then so on and so forth.
 

regular_guy

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Have you ever seen salsa? I mean there is lots of kino, the dance relys on human contact and males lead. I think what you are saying I need to do mentaly, maybe send mixed signals? I have a little hard time doing it though, when I want to sleep with her. Need a more productive mind-set.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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