Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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What is this?

regular_guy

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I met this girl through a salsa class. Went out dancing twice, I never knew how she felt about me. I did not find her looks attractive at first, but when I danced and talked to her, she totally tuned me on. Now I find this girl sexy, I tried to play it kewl, avoiding boring topics when we went out for coffee. I think I told her way too much on the first meet. But I never even done that in my life (so I feel proud). During the second dance outing, I told her to get out of the car as I did not know how to go about kissing her, I got uncomfortable and pussied out. I called her after that incident and apologized, she said its okay. I see her attraction for me leading more and more into the friends zone now. My pussines basically messed things up, because I did not take action. What should I do? How can I be friends with someone I fancy? She actually called me to chit-chat, and I did not call her back, did not want to fall for her. I am trying to get laid without having a relationship? Wtf? Sounds like an ego trip. I would like to know if there is anything there or was there, or should I just forget about her and move on. Only thing is that I see her occasionally at a salsa class. Last time I spoke to her, I was a mumbling idiot. She seemed disappointed. She is 4 years older than me, I am 24.

Cheers

Edit: also I think about her more than I would like to. But I have not told her any of this.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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If you want to get her back, you should lay off of her for a while, like try not looking at her in a sexual way, and after a while try going after her again. And this time don't pvssy out :)
 

regular_guy

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Well the last time I saw her, again I was a mumbling idiot. I actually signed up for a public speaking club “Toastmaters” to work on my communication. It’s great how much other skills I need to be good with the ladies and these skills can be applied to everything else too.

Any who, so I should treat her as a friend now? Because that seems very counter- intuitive to me. I was thinking of calling her and just saying hello and how she is doing, following her or my salsa class (we are in different classes now). I think this may be she may be a lost cause, I am thinking of going after other girls in the other salsa class. Try some flirting, fun, etc.
 

War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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Not really treat her as a friend, just don't pursue her as hard as you did before. Do a lot of anticipating, which is taking 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Like hold hands, then kino her a lot, then go back to just holding hands, and then so on and so forth.
 

regular_guy

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Have you ever seen salsa? I mean there is lots of kino, the dance relys on human contact and males lead. I think what you are saying I need to do mentaly, maybe send mixed signals? I have a little hard time doing it though, when I want to sleep with her. Need a more productive mind-set.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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