"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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What is this?

regular_guy

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I met this girl through a salsa class. Went out dancing twice, I never knew how she felt about me. I did not find her looks attractive at first, but when I danced and talked to her, she totally tuned me on. Now I find this girl sexy, I tried to play it kewl, avoiding boring topics when we went out for coffee. I think I told her way too much on the first meet. But I never even done that in my life (so I feel proud). During the second dance outing, I told her to get out of the car as I did not know how to go about kissing her, I got uncomfortable and pussied out. I called her after that incident and apologized, she said its okay. I see her attraction for me leading more and more into the friends zone now. My pussines basically messed things up, because I did not take action. What should I do? How can I be friends with someone I fancy? She actually called me to chit-chat, and I did not call her back, did not want to fall for her. I am trying to get laid without having a relationship? Wtf? Sounds like an ego trip. I would like to know if there is anything there or was there, or should I just forget about her and move on. Only thing is that I see her occasionally at a salsa class. Last time I spoke to her, I was a mumbling idiot. She seemed disappointed. She is 4 years older than me, I am 24.

Cheers

Edit: also I think about her more than I would like to. But I have not told her any of this.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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War Against Betaism

Master Don Juan
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If you want to get her back, you should lay off of her for a while, like try not looking at her in a sexual way, and after a while try going after her again. And this time don't pvssy out :)
 

regular_guy

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Well the last time I saw her, again I was a mumbling idiot. I actually signed up for a public speaking club “Toastmaters” to work on my communication. It’s great how much other skills I need to be good with the ladies and these skills can be applied to everything else too.

Any who, so I should treat her as a friend now? Because that seems very counter- intuitive to me. I was thinking of calling her and just saying hello and how she is doing, following her or my salsa class (we are in different classes now). I think this may be she may be a lost cause, I am thinking of going after other girls in the other salsa class. Try some flirting, fun, etc.
 

War Against Betaism

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Not really treat her as a friend, just don't pursue her as hard as you did before. Do a lot of anticipating, which is taking 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Like hold hands, then kino her a lot, then go back to just holding hands, and then so on and so forth.
 

regular_guy

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Have you ever seen salsa? I mean there is lots of kino, the dance relys on human contact and males lead. I think what you are saying I need to do mentaly, maybe send mixed signals? I have a little hard time doing it though, when I want to sleep with her. Need a more productive mind-set.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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