lokariototal
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2009
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What is it? Caring too much of what she thinks? Why do I care? Lack of self acceptance?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
What is the root and cause of fear if rejection?
- Thread starter lokariototal
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
...your ego and your mind. They usually hold you back to protect your feelings from being hurt and when their hurt it makes you feel your of lesser value so you can stay away from whatever you attempted that caused rejection or failure because it doesn't want it to happen again. Society like the media and how you were raised shapes your ego. Whatever works is a confidence booster for your ego whatever doesn't is not so it hold you back. This can be bad and AFCs have to condition their ego and mind to think rejections not a big deal, relax, your still alive live the moment and go with the flow.
Dante420
Master Don Juan
Conditioning
The real reason people fear rejection
Our brains are still wired for life thousands of years ago when we lived in small tribes. Evolution has not caught up with technology and society yet. One of the consequences of this is that fear of rejection you have.
Here's why you have that fear:
Back when we lived in small tribes there weren't a whole lot of women around that were your age and primed for procreating. Some were too old, too young, sick, pregnant, whatever. so out of the 100 or so people, only half were women and most of them weren't candidates for mating.
So say you're in your tribe and you see a girl you like but you have that fear. The fear is protecting you.
For one, she might have a bf that will get 5 of his friends to club you to death if he sees you talking to his girl. Literally there is a risk of death in this situation. The fear is helping you stay alive.
Even if she is single and you approach but she shoots you down, she'll go and tell all of her friends (the rest of the girls that are single and within age range to mate with you) that you're a loser and they won't like you either. So now all of the girls in your tribe don't like you and you have no hope of passing on your genes. Epic fail.
That's why the fear of rejection exists, but as you can see, it is clearly out dated. We live in towns and cities now with thousands of people. We also have laws protecting us from harm. So the threat of be excommunicated by all the women in your area no longer exists, nor the threat of being killed by the "alpha male" for talking to his woman.
It is for these reasons that we have to push past that fear. It served us well in the past but is now obsolete.
Our brains are still wired for life thousands of years ago when we lived in small tribes. Evolution has not caught up with technology and society yet. One of the consequences of this is that fear of rejection you have.
Here's why you have that fear:
Back when we lived in small tribes there weren't a whole lot of women around that were your age and primed for procreating. Some were too old, too young, sick, pregnant, whatever. so out of the 100 or so people, only half were women and most of them weren't candidates for mating.
So say you're in your tribe and you see a girl you like but you have that fear. The fear is protecting you.
For one, she might have a bf that will get 5 of his friends to club you to death if he sees you talking to his girl. Literally there is a risk of death in this situation. The fear is helping you stay alive.
Even if she is single and you approach but she shoots you down, she'll go and tell all of her friends (the rest of the girls that are single and within age range to mate with you) that you're a loser and they won't like you either. So now all of the girls in your tribe don't like you and you have no hope of passing on your genes. Epic fail.
That's why the fear of rejection exists, but as you can see, it is clearly out dated. We live in towns and cities now with thousands of people. We also have laws protecting us from harm. So the threat of be excommunicated by all the women in your area no longer exists, nor the threat of being killed by the "alpha male" for talking to his woman.
It is for these reasons that we have to push past that fear. It served us well in the past but is now obsolete.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
That sounds like a bunch of hooey. Everyone just wants to be liked and being told someone doesn't like you sucks.
That fear of death explanation doesn't explain why women are afraid of rejection too. And save me further completely made up possible explanations.
That fear of death explanation doesn't explain why women are afraid of rejection too. And save me further completely made up possible explanations.
LOL. Don't pretend to be a scientist.Blank said:Our brains are still wired for life thousands of years ago when we lived in small tribes. Evolution has not caught up with technology and society yet. One of the consequences of this is that fear of rejection you have.
Here's why you have that fear:
Back when we lived in small tribes there weren't a whole lot of women around that were your age and primed for procreating. Some were too old, too young, sick, pregnant, whatever. so out of the 100 or so people, only half were women and most of them weren't candidates for mating.
So say you're in your tribe and you see a girl you like but you have that fear. The fear is protecting you.
For one, she might have a bf that will get 5 of his friends to club you to death if he sees you talking to his girl. Literally there is a risk of death in this situation. The fear is helping you stay alive.
Even if she is single and you approach but she shoots you down, she'll go and tell all of her friends (the rest of the girls that are single and within age range to mate with you) that you're a loser and they won't like you either. So now all of the girls in your tribe don't like you and you have no hope of passing on your genes. Epic fail.
That's why the fear of rejection exists, but as you can see, it is clearly out dated. We live in towns and cities now with thousands of people. We also have laws protecting us from harm. So the threat of be excommunicated by all the women in your area no longer exists, nor the threat of being killed by the "alpha male" for talking to his woman.
It is for these reasons that we have to push past that fear. It served us well in the past but is now obsolete.
Kupid Diggs
Don Juan
Wow after reading all that I just have one question for you. WTF are you talking about??? :crazy: LoL...Blank said:Our brains are still wired for life thousands of years ago when we lived in small tribes. Evolution has not caught up with technology and society yet. One of the consequences of this is that fear of rejection you have.
Here's why you have that fear:
Back when we lived in small tribes there weren't a whole lot of women around that were your age and primed for procreating. Some were too old, too young, sick, pregnant, whatever. so out of the 100 or so people, only half were women and most of them weren't candidates for mating.
So say you're in your tribe and you see a girl you like but you have that fear. The fear is protecting you.
For one, she might have a bf that will get 5 of his friends to club you to death if he sees you talking to his girl. Literally there is a risk of death in this situation. The fear is helping you stay alive.
Even if she is single and you approach but she shoots you down, she'll go and tell all of her friends (the rest of the girls that are single and within age range to mate with you) that you're a loser and they won't like you either. So now all of the girls in your tribe don't like you and you have no hope of passing on your genes. Epic fail.
That's why the fear of rejection exists, but as you can see, it is clearly out dated. We live in towns and cities now with thousands of people. We also have laws protecting us from harm. So the threat of be excommunicated by all the women in your area no longer exists, nor the threat of being killed by the "alpha male" for talking to his woman.
It is for these reasons that we have to push past that fear. It served us well in the past but is now obsolete.